What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (Full Version)

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LadyNeith -> What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 3:20:45 AM)

As a new member here, it seems like I'm getting the new bitch on the block attention, which I understand, but it seems to be that people have no consideration for location. What do these subs expect when they live so far away? Camdom?

Maybe I'm too old-fashioned, but how can service, worship, control and compliance be met through such great distance?

If you have experienced this please share. I'm here to learn not judge, and I'm trying to understand how this works.



DarkSteven -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 3:25:35 AM)

Bluntly. get used to idiocy.

90+% of the men that will contact you have been fueled by porn and, despite your newness, understand less about the lifestyle than you.

A lot of men want online because they don't have chunks of time, since they are married to an unknowing wife.

And some are afraid to step out from their computer.



masmiss -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 3:27:15 AM)

I'm not going to knock long distance relationships because some people actually make it work. For the most part, the men who live thousands of miles away and contact you are simply looking for wank fodder. Case in point: yesterday I received a message from a "sub" who wanted to dance naked on cam for me. I declined. He didn't understand because "isn't that what femdom is all about?". [8|]



Killerangel -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 4:38:05 AM)

Gear up for the onslaught. Women here are inundated by men who write any female user name regardless of petty things like location, orientation, and what those women list for preferences. Men tend to think if you're on this site then you must want their attention, because they want yours. They don't care about small details like location, they're not thinking much past the wank they're having at the time.



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 4:53:12 AM)

fast reply

I agree with all of the above.

I've been in a long distance relationship, we are originally from other continents. Though we didn't start out with this intention towards the end when we were planning to be together there was some degree of long-distance dom/sub going on, but it mostly related to sorting out our lives together. So there may be a few people out there who are genuinely willing to overlook distance in order to find 'the one' and make it work.

That said, 99.9% will be looking for wank fodder, either as a one off 'tell me how you would dominate me' or as a regular online thing where they hope you will 'make' them stick things up their bum on camera and let them see your boobs. Some will be married, some will not be interested in a proper relationship, some will be too socially clueless to have a shot at a relationship. Many will spam every female probably without even looking at your location or your profile text. They will let you know if you are not a 'real' domme, ie. you didn't get them off exactly as they wanted.

You'll get some of this for as long as you are on the site, by virtue of the fact that female dominants are relatively rare and male subs and wankers are abundant. Luckily it will die down somewhat after you come off the newly joined list.



myotherself -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 9:40:48 AM)

I'm a masochist, and I lost count of how many 'doms' messaged me from other countries, insisting they could be sadistic online [8|]

Trust me, spanking yourself with a hairbrush is nowhere near the same as a guy doing it to you!



RemoteUser -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 9:52:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Trust me, spanking yourself with a hairbrush is nowhere near the same as a guy doing it to you!


(You hit like a girl, durr.)

My girl lives about 1,879 miles away from me at the moment (give or take). I am happy to confirm that LD does work. [:)]

That said, OP, if a lot of messages are sent your way asking for sex, they will have to be extraordinarily endowed. If you find a sub that's interesting and inspires you (as you seem to desire from your profile) then you can enforce nonsexual compliance with little to no difficulty. It depends on what you want. I get the sense that you are more of a touchy-feely grabby-slappy kind of lady. For that, you should absolutely look locally (through munches or otherwise).

Best of luck. [:)]



Alecta -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 11:27:59 AM)

There are idiots abound. If you don't want to consider long distance bluntly say "local only" and ignore protesters.



littlewonder -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 12:18:10 PM)

It could be they want to develop a relationship with you and eventually one of you moves to the other. Some people have a life where they can easily do so. When I met Master we lived 3 hours apart (I know, not much) but I had a child still in school. We visited when we could but I couldn't move for at least 5 years. Master waited it out and we continued long distance until last year when I moved to him. It was actually easier for me and I was going to move anyway after my daughter graduated high school.

Some others can do the same thing. For some the distance just isn't that big a deal. For some it's impossible. It just depends on the person. We have couples here who lived on opposite continents and today are either married or living together happily. It can happen.



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 12:31:33 PM)

The mail controls on here are fantastic...use them! They allow you to send messages from out of state or out of country to your "bulk" or spam box. Even with these controls one or two will get by but it does help reduce the onslaught. Positive side, I was never so popular or got such an ego boost (hey I am over 40, have had 2 kids, been asked if I remember George Washington as president, and am now starting stories with "when I was young").



Duskypearls -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 3:53:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

Gear up for the onslaught. Women here are inundated by men who write any female user name regardless of petty things like location, orientation, and what those women list for preferences. Men tend to think if you're on this site then you must want their attention, because they want yours. They don't care about small details like location, they're not thinking much past the wank they're having at the time.


K, you did a fantastic job of summing up, for women/subs, the perversities of medium succinctly.



sub4use59 -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 5:52:05 PM)

I live in Plattsburgh...I will visit you when u order me too



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 6:23:08 PM)

I have to admit that a long-distance relationship is harder to maintain than one that's in-person much more of the time. My sub is approximately 1300 miles from me and we see each other in person every two to three months for a few days. But he's planning on moving down here when he retires in about five years. I'm willing to wait it out.

Service, worship, control and compliance are admittedly much harder to achieve, let alone maintain, from that far away. You can only have so much control when you're not together, it's more a case of whether they want to comply. Although, I did manage to assert my dominance successfully finally over 1300 miles and he got something done for me....when I gave him an ultimatum. But still, it was quite satisfying when it worked. [:D]

NBMG



BoundSlave4Life -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 6:31:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNeith

As a new member here, it seems like I'm getting the new bitch on the block attention, which I understand, but it seems to be that people have no consideration for location. What do these subs expect when they live so far away? Camdom?

Maybe I'm too old-fashioned, but how can service, worship, control and compliance be met through such great distance?

If you have experienced this please share. I'm here to learn not judge, and I'm trying to understand how this works.


Firstly -- Welcome to CollarMe. Most of the people here make this site a Cesspool, though there are some good people few and far between.
Secondly -- Be on the look out for scammers. Many of them will try and have you pay a "Relocation" thing but you'll never see them. There IS another sort of scammer. "I've been hearing that you're really a man. You need to get on Webcam and prove that you're not a man or your profile will be deleted" or something like that. Just say "I'll be more than happy to get on Cam if you get on cam first". They won't respond.
Third -- Glad to see that you have a head on your shoulders about something so common sense... Though Common Sense is so rare it should be a super power.

Good luck!



Hillwilliam -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/13/2012 6:34:38 PM)

LadyNeith. Welcome to this side of CM. Try googling munchgroups <insert your city>
I bet no matter how far back in the sticks you are, there will be kinksters around who meet once a month in a vanilla setting.
The bonus is that these people are real flesh and blood types who live nearby.



Titaniya -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/14/2012 8:51:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

The mail controls on here are fantastic...use them! They allow you to send messages from out of state or out of country to your "bulk" or spam box. Even with these controls one or two will get by but it does help reduce the onslaught. Positive side, I was never so popular or got such an ego boost (hey I am over 40, have had 2 kids, been asked if I remember George Washington as president, and am now starting stories with "when I was young").


I don't really like using bulk folders... I get a lot of bullshit, but at the same time, if a dominant on another continent who's out of my age range wants to talk to me as an equal about a shared interest, I want to be able to have that interaction. I can still wonder why someone with similar demographics thinks I want them to order me around on camera. ;)



Shininglight23 -> RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? (10/14/2012 11:31:49 PM)

FR

I was in a very successful long distance relationship (3,000 miles apart)... There are quite a few success stories on this side of CM where long distance worked out. Communication, understanding, and loyalty (imo) are make or break things in long distance.

If that is not what you're looking for...then you can (as others suggested) use the mail controls and avoid all that cmail.

Whatever you choose...however you take our advice on this topic... I wish you luck in what you seek.

Allie



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