RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (Full Version)

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LadyConstanze -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/28/2014 3:20:27 PM)
I was told I'm not twue and weal as I sound too nice and have hobbies and recommend charities, weal and twue dommes and sadists don't do that... Fuck me sideways, who's going to be the first to rip up my domme card, I dare to be a real human being...

GoddessManko -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/1/2014 10:27:37 AM)
"Well how about....as a tribute to your amazing beauty i will try and get a listing for you at www.***Modeling.biz (the approval process to get a listing on that website is a bitch). i think you would be a natural to have some pics under the: Alternative or Fetish model category and many others as well (including their vanilla categories). Obviously by having a listing on that website you should no doubt find either paid casting or modeling gigs and/or get offers from photographers to shoot you for various clients or perhaps TFP shots because they wish to expand their portfolio. Please let me now if you are interested, i of course would also like to start getting to know you on a personal level as well." Complete fucking idiot. Yes, that's my goal. To launch my modelling career at the tender age of 31 because that's the pinnacle of my existence. I pretty much told him I'd rather beat myself with my own arms and if he steals my pics he will go to his grave regretting it.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/8/2014 4:48:09 AM)
A master willing to relocate to me, have a tpe with a BBW... I don't think so...a green card thing I bet.

jlf1961 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/12/2014 3:54:54 PM)
quote: i read your profile and i need to be with you and spend the rest of my life with you here This followed my message consisting of: quote: Well, I can claim some intelligence, as i did attend college, and I have been called romantic in the past (something about a dozen roses for no reason, not even guilt, and cooking a special meal for the woman.) But then I am 53, and one of my favorite movies is Casablanca, which is considered a romance (dont ask me how, Bogart doesnt get the girl.) However I am a bit eccentric, I refuse to use apostrophes in protest to the fact that I am a bit nuts. I am also 53 years old and the only opera I can handle is by Wagner. However, I am a sucker for a pretty smile and you have one of the prettiest I have seen on collarme. Jeff The only problem, she is not showing up on my profile views.

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/13/2014 4:07:27 PM)
Here is a funny one I got on another site from a guy in a distant state: Him: May I ask what size shoe you wear? Me: 9, but what has that got to do with anything? Him: Nice :) I have found the larger a woman's foot size, the more dominant she is Me: Interesting theory, but I have not found that to be the case at all. One of the most deeply submissive women I know wears a size 11 shoe, and I know several very dominant woman with small feet. Him: A size 9 foot is very nice :) Me: Whatever. Geography will prevent us from ever meeting anyway. Have a great day.

dreamofthemoon -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/14/2014 8:16:13 AM)
Some people have no life. (Not directed at anyone here on the boards). I just had an offer of 300 dollars to pee in someone's mouth. (Ew! YKINMK, and all, I mean.) Wrote back expressing my sincere apologies that I was not interested, and my complete shock [:D] that that was the going rate these days, too, and he writes back (from another profile) a most lovely (coughnot!cough) note expressing his desire to come find me and beat me. [sm=couch.gif] Message reported and deleted. Profiles marked as spam and blocked. And all before breakfast, too. [&o] [:'(]

hlen5 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/18/2014 10:13:24 AM)
xxx on 4/18/14 at 11:34 AM: how bad are the mosquitoes there? hlen5 on 4/18/14 at 11:40 AM: Well that's an original opening! It's too cold for mosquitoes yet. Good Luck to you! xxx: When they get bad can you take me to a place where the mosquitoes are very thick tie me up where i can not move and pull my pants down then leave me for a few hours? If need be i can pay up to 800

Blonderfluff -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/18/2014 10:26:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hlen5 xxx on 4/18/14 at 11:34 AM: how bad are the mosquitoes there? hlen5 on 4/18/14 at 11:40 AM: Well that's an original opening! It's too cold for mosquitoes yet. Good Luck to you! xxx: When they get bad can you take me to a place where the mosquitoes are very thick tie me up where i can not move and pull my pants down then leave me for a few hours? If need be i can pay up to 800 Omg!! Helen. I got the same one this morning !!!!

DesFIP -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/18/2014 10:31:46 AM)
I feel so used. I thought I was the only one he sent it to!

Blonderfluff -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/18/2014 10:33:37 AM)
Hey!! We could all be Poly with our new"Master"!!

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/18/2014 9:39:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff quote: ORIGINAL: hlen5 xxx on 4/18/14 at 11:34 AM: how bad are the mosquitoes there? hlen5 on 4/18/14 at 11:40 AM: Well that's an original opening! It's too cold for mosquitoes yet. Good Luck to you! xxx: When they get bad can you take me to a place where the mosquitoes are very thick tie me up where i can not move and pull my pants down then leave me for a few hours? If need be i can pay up to 800 Omg!! Helen. I got the same one this morning !!!! I got this one too. He reminds me of the guy who messaged us all last year offering us $700 to put cigarettes out all over his body :)

hlen5 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2014 9:31:08 AM)
Any more suggestions for torture? Anthills, flesh-eating rats......?

ShaharThorne -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2014 10:16:37 AM)
My niece? She can torture like a pro...

DesFIP -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2014 12:49:32 PM)
He can pull out the poison ivy and poison oak in a short sleeved shirt without gloves. And chop down the rosa multiflora. Not only does it have nasty thorns that catch in your clothing but it has long lasting berries. As a result The Man saw a bear track fifty feet from the house the other day. I disapprove of bears.

LadyRedRoseToo -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2014 2:17:34 PM)
my original suggestion was to tie him back against a tree buck nekkid and squish wasps all over him. I've been told the wasp will sting people who have squished wasp pheromones on their person.

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2014 4:10:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hlen5 xxx on 4/18/14 at 11:34 AM: how bad are the mosquitoes there? hlen5 on 4/18/14 at 11:40 AM: Well that's an original opening! It's too cold for mosquitoes yet. Good Luck to you! xxx: When they get bad can you take me to a place where the mosquitoes are very thick tie me up where i can not move and pull my pants down then leave me for a few hours? If need be i can pay up to 800 He wouldn't want to do that around here in West Nile virus territory. I had a notice on my door last year that mosquitos in the area had tested positive for the virus. I met a woman who had contracted the disease, spent several weeks in the hospital, and barely escaped with her life. I doubt this is the kind of "fun" he had in mind.

DesFIP -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2014 8:11:07 PM)
We have west nile around here too. Oddly enough, people seem to be less likely to contract it than horses.

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/22/2014 9:34:28 AM)
Got this one-liner gem from a local putz on another site this morning: "Your hand in my ass" Out of curiousity, I clicked on his profile. A married jerk available only from noon to 3 PM weekdays, LOL. He's also attracted only to skinny people, which I'm not and my profile clearly says as much.

GreedyTop -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/22/2014 11:34:56 AM)
apparently, I am not a human because of my response of "seriously?" to a one liner of hello baby girl. shrug

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/22/2014 11:48:19 AM)
Yuck. Not a message but a guy on my "who's viewing you" page whose profile avatar is a drawing of a naked woman with her arms and legs amputated. Boxing Helena, anyone? [:-]

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