RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/16/2014 10:14:00 AM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

This gem today

im in missouri also my kids are gone so need a sub

WHAT???? So. His kids were indentured servants, left, and now he needs a farmhand?

I cannot begin to fathom any other meaning....it makes me throw up a bit in my mouth.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 1101

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/16/2014 10:19:51 AM

Derangedsuka

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/9/2014
From: Scotland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moderator3

quote:

ORIGINAL: Derangedsuka

This is one from today:

"[Nic] as online master and mentor for collarme.com has been noticing your presence for some time, aware of your potential which deserves further attention and consideration. [Nic] is ready to talk to further and appreciates if sub will contact Him accordingly. Master is both on yahoo or Skype and asks her to indicate where he will be in touch accordingly."

I would be interested in knowing the name of this person. Could you please contact me with the nickname?

I have PM'd you.

I deleted the message, its pretty tame compared to some I have had. I usually just delete them instantly especially ones asking about animals and that kinda stuff

_____________________________

"Self-conquest is really self-surrender. Yet before we can surrender ourselves we must become ourselves. For no one can give up what he does not possess" Thomas Merton

(in reply to Moderator3)

Post #: 1102

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/16/2014 10:22:19 AM

Moderator3

Posts: 3289
Status: offline

Just a note after seeing a couple of these posts: please report anything that you believe to be inappropriate. It is the only way that the site can know what might be happening out there. If you know we would rush at removing the topic from the forum or you suspect something really off, please report it.

Thank you

Edit: I will be announcing that Collarme.com and Collarchat.com do not have mentors or anyone that would represent the site, emailing you in any form of approval or desire to get to know you. If you see anything of this nature, please report it.

< Message edited by Moderator3 -- 5/16/2014 10:25:29 AM >

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 1103

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/16/2014 10:54:56 AM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

This gem today

im in missouri also my kids are gone so need a sub

WHAT???? So. His kids were indentured servants, left, and now he needs a farmhand?

I cannot begin to fathom any other meaning....it makes me throw up a bit in my mouth.

But he NEEDS it! His kids are gone for a full 30 minutes and he has just enough time to get a sub here for some long-denied release!

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 1104

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/16/2014 1:41:47 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

This gem today

im in missouri also my kids are gone so need a sub

WHAT???? So. His kids were indentured servants, left, and now he needs a farmhand?

I cannot begin to fathom any other meaning....it makes me throw up a bit in my mouth.

Giddy up Giddy up, Whoa!!!! My pony girl.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 1105

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/16/2014 8:56:40 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

This gem today

im in missouri also my kids are gone so need a sub

WHAT???? So. His kids were indentured servants, left, and now he needs a farmhand?

I cannot begin to fathom any other meaning....it makes me throw up a bit in my mouth.

Giddy up Giddy up, Whoa!!!! My pony girl.

Well, he should be able to locate his local Subway shop and get his sub there. Not that I like their subs, but he might. Ya just never knows.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 1106

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/18/2014 6:17:00 AM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

Stupid seems to arrive in groups. Ugh

Do you work in a restarunt

< Message edited by Blonderfluff -- 5/18/2014 6:49:35 AM >

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)

Post #: 1107

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/18/2014 7:57:43 PM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

This gem today

im in missouri also my kids are gone so need a sub

WHAT???? So. His kids were indentured servants, left, and now he needs a farmhand?

I cannot begin to fathom any other meaning....it makes me throw up a bit in my mouth.

I think this means, "My kids are gone so the coast is clear" ( At least that's my fervent wish).

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 5/18/2014 7:58:00 PM >

_____________________________

My fave Thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_2626198/mpage_1/tm.htm

One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 1108

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/18/2014 10:08:53 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Just got this one from a local putz that I have never met but have heard plenty about:

I don't understand why I don't appeal to you.

My reply:

Dommes talk.

He had meetings set up with two friends of mine and was a no-show. With a third, he did show up and they saw part of a movie together. However, he stuck his hand down her blouse during the movie and she got up and left.

He had written to me under a different profile name, which I blocked. I recognize the picture and am going to block this one, too.

(in reply to hlen5)

Post #: 1109

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/19/2014 8:15:41 AM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

Stupid seems to arrive in groups. Ugh

Do you work in a restarunt

Is that like a little restaurant, the kind that is always last picked to play games. "Hey, guys, wait up!"

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 1110

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/19/2014 11:55:36 AM

modestgoddess

Posts: 13
Joined: 2/1/2005
From: California
Status: offline

HI Goddess. I am a 32 year old virgin who sucks his own cock. Please humiliate me for being so pathetic. My skype is [blahblahblah]

There was a picture of this. He's very flexible. o_O

_____________________________

CM Guy: Hello pretty, are you open?
Me: No, I'm closed for the holidays.

(in reply to DNAHelicase)

Post #: 1111

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/19/2014 11:58:07 AM

modestgoddess

Posts: 13
Joined: 2/1/2005
From: California
Status: offline

Text from a young self-professed dominant I almost met for coffee:
"I'll wear the panties today."
My response: "Um... What? o_O"

_____________________________

CM Guy: Hello pretty, are you open?
Me: No, I'm closed for the holidays.

(in reply to modestgoddess)

Post #: 1112

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/20/2014 12:19:44 PM

littlelizard

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/5/2014
Status: offline

From fet. Not the worst, but ugh...
The word thick is not a compliment either.

"New here just browsing.....love your thick body great for spanking haha"

(in reply to modestgoddess)

Post #: 1113

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/22/2014 2:57:48 PM

PhantomViolet

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/20/2014
Status: offline

slavewithangerissues on 5/22/14 at 2:41 PM:
Hello Mistress, my name is Terry and i have been a sexslave well trained and taught in the bdsm lifestyle for 5 years and hoping to serve you fully, satisfying your personal needs to the full.

I stand 5'10", black hair, clean shaven, brown eyes, large manhood, i am 57, financially well off for life, divorced for 4 years.

If I may ask, what do you specialize in? Harsh or sensuous dom?

Hope to hear from you

slave terry

PhantomViolet on 5/22/14 at 2:43 PM:
Oh for the love of all that's sacred, read a damn profile before sending out your C&P messages.

slavewithangerissues on 5/22/14 at 2:45 PM:
listen idiot, i dont copy and paste

listen stupid, i read your stupid profile, whore

you are a stupid human that shouldnt be on this planet

I was going to ask him if he needed a hug since he's obviously got a lot of pent up anger, but he'd blocked me. And yes, I did change his profile name

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 1114

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/24/2014 10:32:41 PM

KittyRebellion

Posts: 14
Joined: 4/1/2014
Status: offline

@Fluffycupcake: about the alien probing thing, i got that one too!

_____________________________

I need new lovers in my bed to be my friends and special pets...

(in reply to fluffycupcake)

Post #: 1115

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/1/2014 10:05:53 AM

Delilya

Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline

These two wankers are making the rounds again:

Hello Mistress, I was wanting to know If you would wanna do some CBT on me, On Skype. I'll do almost anything you command me to do to my cock and balls. You can call me names and make fun of my small little pathetic Cock and Balls too. You could make me pour something or put something down my peehole. Almost ANYTHING you want to do. if you have anything weird,mean or humiliating to add other then that I would love to hear what you have in mind.
----------

I'm 36 . Im from kentukcy . Im looking to be taken and made into a full time live in slave . I am married and yes i have kids . But i have a need to be a slave more than i have love for my family. Im a bigger man but i don't let that get in my way . I would be a great slave and i would give you my mind heart body and soul . I want to drop off the earth and never be found by anyone i know ever again . i want to my owner happy and do anything they ask of me ... anything ... please think this over please and message me back if you interested .. thank you ... and with much respect ! slave

_____________________________

“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

(in reply to KittyRebellion)

Post #: 1116

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/14/2014 3:38:44 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

The latest gem from a random stranger:

"I am requesting you to own me, abuse me, make me yours, and I will serve!"

Hmmm.....I would like to at least know the person first.

(in reply to Delilya)

Post #: 1117

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/15/2014 3:43:56 AM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

Dear Goddess, give me a switch...

A Dom wanting to relocate to me...he is younger than Lizard and she is 19! Automatic delete of mail...

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 1118

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/17/2014 7:29:47 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

wow like wow perfect ten from me good evening to u

This would have been fine, if I didn't receive THIS gem instantly upon opening the first message:

quote:

there u are mmmmmm the really pretty girl

The hell? Was he watching his inbox for the three hours between messages, waiting for me to jump online?

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 1119

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/23/2014 6:54:57 PM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

This evening I got....

Hello from Pennsylvania. Would you ever let a married guy serve you nonsexually? Would you let someone clean your house, do the laundry, buy your groceries? I know it sounds odd.

To which I responded....

Clean my apartment? hell yeah! Can you get down here tomorrow? I haven't lived in it for 2 months and I just got back so now all my stuff is ALL over the place and I have 3 days worth of dishes in the sink. Plus this weekend I have to move some furniture out of my apartment so I can move some different things in. Does your offer include moving furniture from room to room?

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to RockaRolla)

Post #: 1120

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