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expanding your search - 6/14/2006 8:46:40 AM

westside

Posts: 121
Joined: 1/28/2004
Status: offline

Some thoughts on meeting a wonderful partner...

   We all approach our 'potential partner searches here and in the physical world with certain criteria in mind; height weight, geographic area, kink, etc.

    Each of theses decisions limits the possible pool of likely candidates -- bdsm/ kinksters/ 'the scene’ -- is already a small subset of the total population. And then people expect to find the perfect person in the first week or month here.

   Well no. Just like dating in the real world ( of finding a job, apartment, or a good grilled cheese sandwich in Detroit after midnight), these things take time.

   One suggestion I’d like to make is to expand your search criteria. On another site, I can search by geographic distance from my home. By changing my search parameters from 15 miles to 30 miles away, I do not double the search area, I quadruple it. ( I think – it’s a square function, anyway.)

   So change some of the things you are searching for, expand your qualifications and increase your chances of meeting Mr. / Mrs./ the family of ‘rights.’

Westside

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RE: expanding your search - 6/14/2006 9:30:33 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

As someone commented in another thread eons ago, for the singles another avenue for finding the sub/slave of your choice (andI immagine the Dominant too), is at singles gatherings... Neets and I are members of a group aimed for the larger person which has several apparent kingsters as members so we will expand our search senario to this group and see if there are suitable submisive folks who may wish to explore Gorean slavery or even become BDSM playmates...... In one organisation involved in network marketing I once told a large function at which I was speaking on motivation, that if you need 6 front line people to go Direct Distributor to make you a Diamond (Large income btw) and you live in a suburban area, Take your residence and draw concentric circles around it at 2 km intervals and work out how many people live i the are 2km from you, 4kn from you and 6km from you. If you spoke to every adult in those areas you will locate 6 people who will do the work and run with the business..... The same principle applies here. there are many, many people living within lets say for example, a 5km radius area from where you live (assuming you live in a city or high population density), who will be interested in what you seek. the secret is than to separate those with whome you want to have a relationship with.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to westside)

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RE: expanding your search - 6/14/2006 9:43:04 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: westside
By changing my search parameters from 15 miles to 30 miles away, I do not double the search area, I quadruple it. ( I think – it’s a square function, anyway.)

No you pi(r^2) it- it's a circular function of radius.

quote:

So change some of the things you are searching for, expand your qualifications and increase your chances of meeting Mr. / Mrs./ the family of ‘rights.’

Westside

I think if you're talking about expansion to be "someone who may also like sports" or "someone who may also like bbq" even when it's not really something you're all that into yourself, then it's good.

But location and physical limits are a different sort of expansion. I've done the LDR thing (In fact I've been doing it and thankfully will be ending it in a few weeks) and have NO desire to get into that again.

As always- know what you're flexible on and what you aren't flexible on. The more you are flexible on, the more choices you will have, but if you aren't flexible on something, then it's not really a choice for you anyway.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: expanding your search - 6/14/2006 9:43:32 AM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

Are you really saying that people on this site or others have a constraints and criteria that is too narrow?

I think most people online know what they are attracted to and most certainly have life experiences with relationships even if they are not specifically the ones that we look for on here. Constraints of a search can be just personal. Some have children and a career and cannot relocate or move to the otherside of a big city for example.

Do people online tend to paint a more perfect picture of themselves. Certainly, an avid hiker might have only hiked two times in the past five years for example. But for the most part, because this is so hard to find and so many other hurdles and risks come to a seach for a dominant or submissive, I think most people on here know themselves well enough to keep things like you are talking about in their thought process.

I also think it is about timing and how serious a person is looking for. I am sure a lot of us started with more narrow criteria and expanded it when we were dissapointed with our results. I know the first time I went online for this it happen to me, but I just do not think there are many here that have such a narrow search and are sad/frustrated because they have not found someone. Patience and re-evaluating is just part of the journey.

_____________________________

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

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RE: expanding your search - 6/14/2006 10:28:05 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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here we are after all (Those who are looking anyway) marketing ourselves. Unfortunately the interests list doesn't allow you to always give an accurate picture of your experience.. Like for me, I love mountain climbing and bush walking as well as footbal (American) however my knees will not allow me to participate in such acitivities these days. I am interested but just done do it any more. This is where the current system can let you down but without upgrading to a far more complex system which would confuzzel even more people there is little you can do.... Except place notes in you profile or blog.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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