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Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 8:14:06 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney both spoke at Thursday night’s Al Smith dinner in Manhattan which raises money for Catholic charities. Here are some of their best lines:
Obama:


“I felt really well rested after the nice long nap I had in the first debate.”

“Everyone please take your seats, or else Clint Eastwood will yell at them.”

“In less than three weeks, voters in states like Ohio, Virgina and Florida will decide this incredibly important election. Which begs the question, what are we doing here?”

“I particularly want to apologize to Chris Matthews. Four years ago, I gave him a thrill up his leg. This time around, I gave him a stroke.”

(PHOTOS: 12 funniest Al Smith Dinner jokes)

“Early today, I went shopping at some stores in midtown. I understand Gov. Romney went shopping for some stores in midtown.”

“Of course, the economy is on everybody’s minds. The unemployment rate is at its lowest level since I took office. I don’t have a joke here. I just thought it’d be useful to remind everybody that the unemployment rate is at the lowest it’s been since I took office.”

Romney:

“I was actually hoping the president would bring Joe Biden along this evening, ‘cause he’ll laugh at anything.”

“As President Obama surveys the Waldorf banquet room, with everyone in white tie and finery, you have to wonder what he’s thinking: so little time, so much to redistribute.”

“He knows how to seize a moment, this president. And already he has a compelling new campaign slogan: you’re better off now than you were four weeks ago.”

“Usually when I get invited to gatherings like this, it’s just to be the designated driver.”

“By the way, in the spirit of Sesame Street, the president’s remarks tonight are brought to you by the letter O and the number 16 trillion.”

“My job is to lay out a positive vision for the future of the country, and their (the press) job is to make sure no one else finds out about it.”



Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1012/82621.html#ixzz29l3mUEr8

Both made me laugh, even the partisan ones....I enjoyed it

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 8:25:46 AM   
Yachtie


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Status: offline 		It does look like all had a good time.

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 10:06:04 AM   
subrob1967


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Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline 		Romney looked relaxed and seemed to be having a good time, Obama was way too self depreciating, and looked tired.

Romney's 10 minutes.

[Obama's 9 minutes

Obama's best line was "This is my last campaign, so I am trying to drink it all in. Unfortunately Mayor Bloomberg will only let me have 16 oz".




< Message edited by subrob1967 -- 10/19/2012 10:07:20 AM >

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 10:08:05 AM   
Hillwilliam


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Status: offline 		Know what's funny, rob. I can see a post go by on the scroll at the top and know it's you.

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 10:09:50 AM   
subrob1967


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Know what's funny, rob. I can see a post go by on the scroll at the top and know it's you.


I guess that's because I'm the only guy around here who calls it true. I don't embellish to make my side look good.

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 10:11:09 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		LMAO Hill, get outta my head:)


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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 10:31:07 AM   
DomKen


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From: Chicago, IL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subrob1967
Romney looked relaxed and seemed to be having a good time, Obama was way too self depreciating, and looked tired.

The difference is that the Preident is actually campaigning. Romney is treating the campaign like a part time gig.

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 10:39:39 AM   
Hillwilliam


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quote:

ORIGINAL: subrob1967


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Know what's funny, rob. I can see a post go by on the scroll at the top and know it's you.


I guess that's because I'm the only guy around here who calls it true. I don't embellish to make my side look good.

Actually, the unrepentant bias jumps off the screen.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 10:41:42 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		I stole this from another post.




Attachment (1)

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 10:44:33 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		ya I snorted at it earlier, I had seen a more disgusting version, but this one works very well:)

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 10:46:59 AM   
mnottertail


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Status: offline 		Some many many years ago, someone had written Reagan sucks donkey dicks in the snow outside the whitehouse.   The FBI thouroughly investigated the situation.  They reported to St. Wrinklemeat.  

We have determined that the urine was George Bush's but the handwriting was Nancy's.

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 11:31:27 AM   
subrob1967


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Joined: 9/13/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomKen


quote:

ORIGINAL: subrob1967
Romney looked relaxed and seemed to be having a good time, Obama was way too self depreciating, and looked tired.

The difference is that the Preident is actually campaigning. Romney is treating the campaign like a part time gig.



When you're campaigning against a clown with four years of failure as a record, and have taken the lead in the polls 18 days before the election, why not relax and have a good time? Obama's done, Mitt knows it, Barack knows and admitted as much with his self depreciation last night, and most of the world knows it.

But Barack does have his bitter clinger's on who just can't accept his eventual defeat in 18 days.

< Message edited by subrob1967 -- 10/19/2012 11:34:14 AM >

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 11:33:10 AM   
subrob1967


Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
Actually, the unrepentant bias jumps off the screen.



Watch both videos and tell me where my analysis is wrong.

I was right on the first debate, right on the second debate, and right about these speeches.

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 11:46:02 AM   
mastercreeker


Posts: 70
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Concede some pretty good lines to O but Romney did both look more relaxed and had better timing on his lines......though the conservative sights actually came down on him for being too "biting"

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 11:51:27 AM   
DomYngBlk


Posts: 3316
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		Are you sure? Remember Obama is the one with the dark skin.......I believe you are confused about things

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 3:26:28 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney both spoke at Thursday night’s Al Smith dinner in Manhattan which raises money for Catholic charities. Here are some of their best lines:
Obama:


“I felt really well rested after the nice long nap I had in the first debate.”

“Everyone please take your seats, or else Clint Eastwood will yell at them.”

“In less than three weeks, voters in states like Ohio, Virgina and Florida will decide this incredibly important election. Which begs the question, what are we doing here?”

“I particularly want to apologize to Chris Matthews. Four years ago, I gave him a thrill up his leg. This time around, I gave him a stroke.”

(PHOTOS: 12 funniest Al Smith Dinner jokes)

“Early today, I went shopping at some stores in midtown. I understand Gov. Romney went shopping for some stores in midtown.”

“Of course, the economy is on everybody’s minds. The unemployment rate is at its lowest level since I took office. I don’t have a joke here. I just thought it’d be useful to remind everybody that the unemployment rate is at the lowest it’s been since I took office.”

Romney:

“I was actually hoping the president would bring Joe Biden along this evening, ‘cause he’ll laugh at anything.”

“As President Obama surveys the Waldorf banquet room, with everyone in white tie and finery, you have to wonder what he’s thinking: so little time, so much to redistribute.”

“He knows how to seize a moment, this president. And already he has a compelling new campaign slogan: you’re better off now than you were four weeks ago.”

“Usually when I get invited to gatherings like this, it’s just to be the designated driver.”

“By the way, in the spirit of Sesame Street, the president’s remarks tonight are brought to you by the letter O and the number 16 trillion.”

“My job is to lay out a positive vision for the future of the country, and their (the press) job is to make sure no one else finds out about it.”



Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1012/82621.html#ixzz29l3mUEr8

Both made me laugh, even the partisan ones....I enjoyed it


It was fairly obvious watching Obama, stumbling a smidge (not like he doesn't have a few other things on his plate) but, ever the consummate professional, he carried the day well, that these jokes were written for both, by the same team such that they would be equally as funny to both sides, not disparaging one over the other. Neither of them, clearly, had more than 3 minutes to review the jokes and then both read from prepared scripts.

But I will say, Romney did it better...both we're however, hilarious.

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 5:07:34 PM   
LookieNoNookie


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Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		http://www.c-span.org/Campaign2012/Events/67th-Annual-Alfred-E-Smith-Memorial-Foundation-Dinner/10737435020/

Best stuff arrives at 9:12. Gets better from there....great stuff!

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 5:20:43 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

When you're campaigning against a clown with four years of failure as a record, and have taken the lead in the polls 18 days before the election, why not relax and have a good time? Obama's done, Mitt knows it, Barack knows and admitted as much with his self depreciation last night, and most of the world knows it.


RCP Average 10/7 - 10/18 -- -- 47.1 47.0 Obama +0.1

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 5:36:06 PM   
LookieNoNookie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

When you're campaigning against a clown with four years of failure as a record, and have taken the lead in the polls 18 days before the election, why not relax and have a good time? Obama's done, Mitt knows it, Barack knows and admitted as much with his self depreciation last night, and most of the world knows it.


RCP Average 10/7 - 10/18 -- -- 47.1 47.0 Obama +0.1


That's fucking huuuuuge!

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RE: Al Smith Dinner Jokes - 10/19/2012 7:05:34 PM   
subrob1967


Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

When you're campaigning against a clown with four years of failure as a record, and have taken the lead in the polls 18 days before the election, why not relax and have a good time? Obama's done, Mitt knows it, Barack knows and admitted as much with his self depreciation last night, and most of the world knows it.


RCP Average 10/7 - 10/18 -- -- 47.1 47.0 Obama +0.1



ANNNDDD The rest of the story...

Direction of Country
RCP Average
Right Direction 39.6
Wrong Track 55.0
Spread -15.4


Party on Barack, party on Taz


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