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RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/21/2012 2:23:18 AM   
smartsub10


Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline 		Am I wrong in my guess that you've just finished checking out submissivewomen.com and came here to set up a profile?

I will tell you what I have told hundreds before you:

I am a woman first, a submissive second. Keeping that in mind, how do you approach vanilla women? Was it successful in getting to know her and develop a relationship? Then, do the same thing with a submissive woman that attracts you. I guarantee it will work like a charm.

Best of luck to you.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to houndsman)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/21/2012 5:52:52 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Men outnumber women at least 10:1 in WIITWD.


That is likely true online, but definitely not true at our local functions. To be blunt, OP, your writing skills are weak but you're pretty good looking and quite tall and likely have a good presence in person - you'd do much better offline.

Quit trying to find a sub for now. Instead, focus on meeting locals - men, women, subs, Doms, etc - and just talk with them. Be honest about being a young Dom just starting out. Watch scenes and if you were impressed with a Top's technique, approach him or her AFTER the scene is over (NEVER interrupt a scene!) and ask what kind of flogger was used, where to buy good ones, etc. Soon, you'll be getting advice from local experts, play opportunities, etc. You'll also be building up a local reputation, which will put you in very good stead later.

Good luck!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/21/2012 9:51:35 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Men outnumber women at least 10:1 in WIITWD.


That is likely true online, but definitely not true at our local functions.


It's at least 10:1 in SoCal, male Doms were the absolute majority at every event I've been to in San Francisco. It's going to vary based on local demographics.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/21/2012 11:57:05 PM   
godmonger666


Posts: 126
Joined: 10/3/2012
Status: offline 		Quizno's makes a good sub

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/22/2012 12:01:14 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline
quote:

Quizno's makes a good sub


lol, you're horrible.

(in reply to godmonger666)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/22/2012 1:53:20 AM   
LonDom61


Posts: 196
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline 		Sigh.

Day 2 he's already asking for advice. On "were to find a sub?"

The guy is logged on every day. For the, what?, three or four days he's been here. I'm on at crazy time 4 in the morning or so and two days I see he logged off x minutes ago.

Day 4. Has he taken ANY of the advice? Maybe he's googled his local chapter of TNG. Maybe he's ordered some good reference material on Amazon. Maybe maybe maybe.

He has, apparently, come back here once & said "thanks for the advise". Advice.

Here's his profile right now (for the record, in case he DOES change it at some time in the future):

New to this would like to find a submissive women to play with and get to know and see what happens

No change from original. Oh, and it happens to be Exactly The Same Wording as his OP.

Shit. I was so distracted by the lameness and bad spelling that I just noticed this now. It's ONE RUN ON SENTENCE.

So...what's he logging on for? If not to come back here for help or to upgrade his profile?

My guess? Busy sending out email to our wimmens.

And is it likely his email is better than his profile? So likely sending out lame, misspelled (and who knows what else?) email to our wimmens.

DarkSteven says one thing he's got going for him is he's not bad looking. Okay, maybe. But in the pic I think he looks sorta scared. Nervous anyway. Excellent way to toss away the one thing ya might have goin for ya dude. (Misspellings intentional to be conversational. When you know how to spell, you can take liberties.)

Bad profile. Bad spelling. Bad pic. No patience. No action on the good advice here.

I'd say let the help end and the merciless heckling and general silliness begin.


< Message edited by LonDom61 -- 10/22/2012 2:13:55 AM >

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/22/2012 5:46:20 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: houndsman

New to this aney good suggestions on were to find a sub



I would simply echo what LonDom61 and Dark Steven said. Read each of their replies 3 or 4 times.

Next, I would change your general approach. You see, you seem to think that finding a sub is a unique endeavor. It's really not. Finding a sub is just like finding a vanilla woman. The things that work for regular vanilla women are likely to work for submissive women. After all, they're still women.

I haven't looked at your profile, but find the local BDSM group in whatever city you live in, and attend one of their munches (that's what BDSM groups call the informal meetings that they hold at restaurants or diners) as soon as you possibly can.

The internet is a helpful tool. But (IMO) nothing beats meeting real people and watching them in action at a play party.

Good luck in your search.
-Roch

(in reply to houndsman)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/22/2012 11:10:09 AM   
AVegasMaster


Posts: 119
Joined: 8/2/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: godmonger666

Quizno's makes a good sub


True, but stay away form Subway....... they are all bread, and no meat.

(in reply to godmonger666)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/22/2012 1:48:46 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		It's "any"
and "where"



_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to houndsman)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/22/2012 3:47:06 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: houndsman

New to this aney good suggestions on were to find a sub

Make a Fifi

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to houndsman)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/22/2012 5:24:33 PM   
CuriousFerret


Posts: 68
Joined: 10/16/2012
Status: offline 		The OP sounds like a sweetheart and also determined. I don't think he'll have any trouble finding someone.

For anyone else, I can speak as a sub. I want a dom to offer me security, plain and simple. If I said anything else, I would be a liar. However, if someone had told me that 5 years ago, I would have denied it, even though it still would have been true.

Therefore, the way to go is to advertise to potential subs, indirectly, that you are a prospect for financial and personal security. But you don't want to be too direct, or you'll make them feel like they're being whores if they come to you. They do, after all, want to preserve some self-respect.

That, of course, is only my perspective. I hope that you'll take into account the wisdom of all who respond here because many here are far more experienced than myself.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/22/2012 7:12:38 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousFerret

Therefore, the way to go is to advertise to potential subs, indirectly, that you are a prospect for financial and personal security.


I've never relied on a Dominant to provide financial security. I've only ever asked that they be able to support themselves.

Quite frankly, trusting someone to take care of you financially when you don't know them very well is foolish. You should always have enough money to get out of the situation and support yourself. We've all heard the horror stories about Dom/mes that kicked a submissive out with absolutely nothing but their clothes.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to CuriousFerret)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/22/2012 8:10:26 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: houndsman

New to this aney good suggestions on were to find a sub

Make a Fifi

You seem to have found a far more entertaining and informative internet than I have! Or did you just google "fuck sock"?

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/23/2012 12:51:43 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		eeerrr....knowing Master, I'm sure he already knew it through all his porn hunting days.

I'm always amazed (meaning afraid) at the stuff he knows.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/23/2012 4:11:22 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Nah-I learned about Fifi's in the toughest school of all-prison.
There were cats who had named their fifi-freaked me the funk out!

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/23/2012 5:50:48 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AVegasMaster

True, but stay away form Subway....... they are all bread, and no meat.



It's good to know that I'm not the only person who feels that way about Subway. IMO, their sandwiches are mostly bread and lettuce, with very little meat.

(in reply to AVegasMaster)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/23/2012 6:10:00 AM   
LonDom61


Posts: 196
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline 		What's a subway?

Usually anywhere from 110 - 220 pounds, give or take.

= = =

How much does a grecian urn?

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 10/23/2012 6:54:46 AM   
culareD


Posts: 762
Joined: 8/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm going to add:

Men outnumber women at least 10:1 in WIITWD. Now, add that you don't have any experience. It's going to require patience and you need to understand that the women get to pick and choose because there are so many men. You're going to need to bring your A game.

I would suggest hitting up a couple of books from the book list, particularly The Loving Dominant and Screw the Roses.

Next: I would suggest finding your local community and finding yourself a real time mentor. That way you can see D/s BDSM relationships in action in real life. Also, your local TNG group will have a wealth of information.

Lastly, stop watching porn or reading 50 Shades of Grey as reference materials.

Good luck!


I'll add "Conquer Me" by Kacie Cunningham to the reading list. It is a book written by a sub from her point of view. Knowledge is power.

_____________________________

Member-at-Large, ProSubs"R"Us

Life is like a box of chocolates. Savor every bite.

The Butterfly Story

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 11/4/2012 5:56:19 PM   
Mourneris


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/3/2012
Status: offline 		This isn't even my thread and I'm having to admit that there's a lot of good advice, that I myself as a newbie will be applying immediately. OP, you should totally jump on this stuff, it sounds great.

(in reply to culareD)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: new to this having a hard time finding a sub aney s... - 11/4/2012 6:11:24 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

quote:

Quizno's makes a good sub


lol, you're horrible.

So is what goes on their sandwiches!! Can't eat there after reading the volume of complaints thet get for everything from giant metal staples in food, moldy spinach actally served & mouse in a cooked bag store opened to use. Ggggggrrrrrross!!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 40
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