RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 1:56:02 PM)

I am not collared either as I take this as a sign of commitment equal to marriage. I am exclusive with the dom I am seeing. I state on my profile that I am taken and i will not respond to emails that seem to show interest in me. If I had someone email me questioning my declaration and demanding things from me, well I would forward the text of that message and the user name to the dom I am seeing and he would deal with it. So far it hasn't been necessary as I just do not respond to the emails and that has stopped any arguing over the point.

Just because someone emails you does not mean you have to respond...



amaidiamond -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 2:15:58 PM)

I also view a collar as equal to marriage and in the same vein you don't have to be married to be commited to someone, maybe putting it in this vanilla context would help as from the sounds of it the once e-mailing you don't seem to know much about the lifestyle.

That or NOT SEEKING in great big letters accross the top of your profile ;)

dia



wild1cfl -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 2:26:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TolerableCruelty

The Wrath of Dom.....

wasn't that a Star Trek movie ?

ehh...nevermind

Live long and prosper TC ( spreading my fingers about in a vulcon salute)

T.R.



wild1cfl -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 2:30:50 PM)

[
1. Your profiles says, "That said, i am seeking either a male or female Dom/me, though at this time i am strictly looking to build friendships which may then develop into something else."  Even though in the journal line you say something about being under consideration, which to me is different than being owned, if you say you are seeking a male or female dominant in your profile then its not terribly surprising if someone contacts you.

2. You still have that you are seeking dominant men checked off under "actively seeking"

C~

[/quote]


This is why I originally said that you need to change your profile I gues I must not have made myself as clear as this post



juliaoceania -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 4:03:20 PM)

I agree with you wild1. I just read her profile and it seemed a little disingenuous to claim that people do not "get it" when her profile is set up to attract dominants. No, she does not owe anyone to change her profile, but it seems a little naive to think people will "get it" when you appear to be actively searching for someone.

My original advice stands. Do not answer the emails that profile seems to attract. At the same time do not expect people to understand you advertised when you actually have nothing for sale.



slavejali -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 4:13:27 PM)

Well , I happened upon an awesome realisation yesterday, my nipple rings mean more to me than my physical collar. Do you have anything that depicts to you, your being owned,  that isnt a collar. I dunno, maybe your Owner handed you a tissue to wipe up some blood he spilt...and you kept it.

You could then respond " Well i dont have a collar, but I have this bloody tissue"

Seriously though, I'm going with what everyone else is saying.

BTW, my realisation yesterday hasnt been proven, I've got no clue how I would respond if Master told me to take my collar off, I would probably fall to pieces....but hey.[:)]



irishbynature -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 4:23:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig
If you are "owned" you are "collared".
It is not the ring that makes the marriage, nor is the ceremony what makes a marriage....therefore just because you and yours have not gone through some fancy-schmancy collering ceremony means exactly NOTHING.
You belong, so you belong...if the others want to know if yhou are collared, just answer " I belong". If that isn't good enough, then fuck-em, they ain't good enough.

[sm=applause.gif] Right on the money, Arpig!!!  Of course I agree with "I belong" because somewhere along the way in the relationship, the boundaries were defined. You can "belong" to One, and not be collared simply for the reason that the two of you know the deal.  Besides, you can get a collar, and that collar can be released as easy as saying, "Good bye." It's just cheaper and has less lawyers involved as compared to signing divorce papers....LOL.[:D]
Respectfully,
Irish



sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 7:22:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

If you are "owned" you are "collared".
It is not the ring that makes the marriage, nor is the ceremony what makes a marriage....therefore just because you and yours have not gone through some fancy-schmancy collering ceremony means exactly NOTHING.
You belong, so you belong...if the others want to know if yhou are collared, just answer " I belong". If that isn't good enough, then fuck-em, they ain't good enough.


Arpig,
 
I respectfully disagree with your opinion. I strongly feel that it is possible to be owned without being collared. The collar is a deeper commitment in my eyes.
 
sub tara




KatyLied -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 7:25:43 PM)

quote:

When I had collared and owned, I still got contacted.


There is an element to being "owned" or "collared" that somehow makes a sub/slave more attractive.  I think it's the "someone has taken a chance on her, so she must be good" mentality.  And as mentioned previously, some people just can't/won't/don't read profiles/journals so they don't know what's going on anyway.

quote:

They're looking for a loophole


Yep, that too.



juliaoceania -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 7:28:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig
If you are "owned" you are "collared".
It is not the ring that makes the marriage, nor is the ceremony what makes a marriage....therefore just because you and yours have not gone through some fancy-schmancy collering ceremony means exactly NOTHING.
You belong, so you belong...if the others want to know if yhou are collared, just answer " I belong". If that isn't good enough, then fuck-em, they ain't good enough.

[sm=applause.gif] Right on the money, Arpig!!!  Of course I agree with "I belong" because somewhere along the way in the relationship, the boundaries were defined. You can "belong" to One, and not be collared simply for the reason that the two of you know the deal.  Besides, you can get a collar, and that collar can be released as easy as saying, "Good bye." It's just cheaper and has less lawyers involved as compared to signing divorce papers....LOL.[:D]
Respectfully,
Irish



Well Irish, if the collar requires a key to open it you might need a locksmith to release you.. how much does a locksmith cost these days? Probably more than a do-it-yourself divorce (ouch)...lol



Ridilyn -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 7:32:03 PM)

Just tell them that your not interested in more than platonic contact. If that doesn't get through to them block them. My sweety and I don't go in for all the ceremony crap in our relationship but we both consider her "owned" . I call her my wife and she calls me her husband though we haven't had an official marriage. Does the lack of rings invalidate our relationship? I think not and we've outlasted all of our friends who did. In the same way a lack of a collar shouldn't invalidate your relationship. 



YoungBlondeSlave -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/14/2006 11:37:18 PM)

I keep forgetting to update my profile, thanks for reminding me. You'd think I'd remember after all of this. I'm going to change it immediately.



MstrssPassion -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/15/2006 6:00:22 AM)

Update it & seriously consider who you decide to speak with.

If you haven't already learned this about men, learn it now.

Men are competitors. This is ingrained very deeply. For many of these men (not all, so you passive types don't jump in) will try to seduce you even if you claim to have a partner... this fact compounded by the fact that you are already speaking with men who identify as being dominant, well you are just manna fueling the testosterone factory. I'm a dominant woman & I am constantly faced with those who identify as sub & they too either ignore the fact that I have a partner or feel that in some way that they would better serve me than my current partner. I make it known right from the start that they must communicate to me that they KNOW I have a partner in the first email & then I will make sure they KNOW in my first reply that my partner is always involved with anyone I met. If this is not acceptable, then it is bye-bye, you are the weakest link!

Please do not take this personally but I am also going to let you in on something that is seen online line multiple times a day...

Many women will post on boards, mention in chat rooms or discuss within a face to face conversations this very same situation you brought up.

"I am just looking for friends because I already have a partner/master/dom & these guys just don't seem to understand this about me. I was completely honest upfront so why are they having such a hard time understanding I just want to be their friend??" <eyelashes batting innocently>

COME ON!! Because most of these guys are thinking with their little head not the big one. (again fellows, I'm not saying all of you do)

Too often these women are the problem because they encourage these men. They flirt & play games because they are eating up the attention. They feel completely justified that it is all in the name of friendship & that it isn't going any further because they mentioned in the beginning.

Give it up sisters... most of out here see this as what it is... being a tease & an attention junkie.

Now back to the OP... I was not suggesting that you personally were doing this but you can see how this can appear that you are. Rather than look for ways to change others (which is a futile task anyway) look at changing your own actions to produce desired results.

Let's say... stop going into private chats with dominant men & for goodness sake... stop giving out your phone number to these men.



YoungBlondeSlave -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/15/2006 8:36:33 AM)

I have never done a private chat with any man after meeting my owner and I most certainly have not given out a phone number since being with him. Those are two behaviors I squashed immediately to try and cut down on these occurrances. Besides the fact that it's just plain disrespectful and I'd never do that to him.

When I recieve e-mails from interested men I reply to every one with the same five word message, "I am owned, thank you." Is doing that somehow considered an encouragement to pursue me that  I don't know about? Most of the times I get a response of "Best of luck." However, there are times that I get, "I share my girl with others, does your owner share you."

Luckily, once I refer them to him and ask them to contact him it's usually a dead-issue so I'm finally getting through to people, which is nice.



Submotive -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/15/2006 9:27:30 AM)

It's funny - i see this "complaint" frequently. Perhaps i have BO or something as i do not get messages that are disrespectful of my relationship or otherwise. Hmmmm!!!! Now i wear a training collar, yet am very much owned property. Don't understand those who pester owned slaves. Don't know whether to think i'm just fortunate or????? LOL



YoungBlondeSlave -> RE: Uncollared, but owned...does this make any sense? (6/15/2006 9:30:27 AM)

You are lucky it is a frequent headache. It drives me crazy.



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