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newflowers -> RE: formal "dom"ucation (11/6/2004 11:44:00 AM)
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I've no doubt that the link is a money making enterprise - it advertises itself a such. It seems a fine and creative way to make a living.
I am well aware that learning anything is not easy, but then, nothing worth having - from tangible goods to intangible knowledge - is easy.
I would certainly be more comfortable with a partner who has had some form of training with tools and toys that can cause potential damage.
I think it is easy to say "find a mentor." There are numerous posts here and elsewhere recommending that those new to BDSM do so. If one is a novice, one is not likely to know where to find such a person. For those who are capable of mentoring (and reading here and elsewhere I think there are a few), how many actually have the time and inclination to do so? For all of the profiles that list electrical play and single tail whips as "specialities, I have to wonder how many of those actually have had lessons and practice. When people advertise about being in a cage for long periods of time or engaging in extreme bondage, I do wonder how many have studied the psychilogical and physiological effects of such activities. Knowing the mental and physical implications of BDSM activities is equally important as having the proper technique.
Having stumbled blindly for years and falling into my past D/s relationship by accident, before I began this search, I spent quite a bit of time with a mentor. I found him quite by accident- he gave assignments and I read and studied. We discussed the information and how it was applicable to me and to what I wanted. I was very fortunte to find someone with the teaching skills and knowledge to teach me. I have had any number of offers to be "trained" and "mentored" (please insert salacious wink and licivious leer). I was very lucky the first time but it took a great deal of time - his and mine. Our relationship was that of teacher and student. Now I am part of a submissive women's group and we learn from each other in addition to providing support and becoming friends.
There is so much knowledge that is needed to nagavigate my own personal submissive nature and add in a relationship and another person and any children or other family nearby - these can all build a lot of pressure and stress. Learning about yourself is a never ending process add in the above - it seems that groups like Thorns and my women's group, as well as businesses like the one in the link are very necessary.
Having spent time learning about me, I know that there is tons of information about submissives and slaves and those willing to help you learn without using the teaching as an excuse to have sex and play.
Where do dominants and masters find the information they need to learn?
newflowers
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