RE: Vanilla Sex or Non-Sexual BDSM?

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RE: Vanilla Sex or Non-Sexual BDSM? - 10/24/2012 10:09:36 AM

UnholyBear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KinksterUK

Hi Everyone

I saw this question on another site and found it very interesting.

Personally, I would drop back to vanilla sex if BDSM were not an option. BDSM play for me was like a logical extension of sex for me. But good sex will always be fundamental for me.

Interested to hear everyone's thoughts on this.

One does not act as a substitute for the other in my books.

(in reply to KinksterUK)

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RE: Vanilla Sex or Non-Sexual BDSM? - 10/24/2012 10:13:06 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

Sex please, I can't imagine anything more boring than bdsm without sex, at least vanilla sex would include blowjobs and anal :-)

I wouldn't call it boring....lol. I would call it CHALLENGING, VERY VERY CHALLENGING. and maturing. and enlightening. Sure helped me to overcome a few obstacles, still a work in progress.

Its interesting to see how much people vary in their views, needs, desires.

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RE: Vanilla Sex or Non-Sexual BDSM? - 10/24/2012 11:06:23 AM

TheBoyDownBelow

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/25/2012
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Thank you for an interesting topic. My guess this definition or separation has a lot to do with cultural upbringing. When a Domme writes that her definition of D/s or BDSM has nothing to do with sex may be true for herself. The partner may perceive it complete differently. Such generic separations are a bit insulting to me, because BDSM is the only thing I have and drives me. Also for professionals legal reasons to do such a statement may be in order. On the definition what sex is, and it includes/excludes, you may get as many opinions as people living on this earth. Guessing the best advice you will get, is from Bill and Monica, who know exactly what sex is not! LOL

< Message edited by TheBoyDownBelow -- 10/24/2012 11:15:38 AM >

(in reply to chatterbox24)

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RE: Vanilla Sex or Non-Sexual BDSM? - 10/24/2012 1:50:31 PM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

Sex please, I can't imagine anything more boring than bdsm without sex, at least vanilla sex would include blowjobs and anal :-)

I wouldn't call it boring....lol. I would call it CHALLENGING, VERY VERY CHALLENGING. and maturing. and enlightening. Sure helped me to overcome a few obstacles, still a work in progress.

Its interesting to see how much people vary in their views, needs, desires.

Totally. I know many people would find sex with no orgasms boring so I'm not judging anyone, just stating a personal view. To each their own :-)

(in reply to chatterbox24)

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RE: Vanilla Sex or Non-Sexual BDSM? - 10/26/2012 6:34:24 AM

RealExtremeMaso

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Joined: 10/23/2012
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I think if I had to choose, i would choose non-sexual BDSM. I´m used to live without sex for several month - but I won´t even imagine how it could be without BDSM! But on the other hand - BDSM is arousing to me, so there is always interaction between both sides....

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RE: Vanilla Sex or Non-Sexual BDSM? - 10/26/2012 6:57:57 AM

punisher440

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FR
Well OP,like many of the others have said,I see both intertwined with me.While not all sex I have while in a relationship involves bondage or some form of punishment,there is always the power exchange between me and my partner.It's there and we both know it's there.I'm not sure if I'm just getting too set in my ways as I get older,but I know I could never just be vanilla 24/7/365.Just as I know I would never be happy in a relationship without a power exchange dynamic involved...it's just a part of what makes me be me.

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RE: Vanilla Sex or Non-Sexual BDSM? - 10/26/2012 7:46:22 AM

RemoteUser

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If I'm having sex, it's because I want it - how I want it is subject to the partner's capacity and my interest at that time. The rest is pretty irrelevant.

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Post #: 27