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RosiesLearning -> Brand spanking new.. (10/25/2012 1:27:27 PM)

Hi everyone!!
So...Ive been interested in the BDSM scene for a while but the niche in Ireland is tiny and I have never really explored it, all of my relationships have been completely vanilla apart from my last where we played very mild dom/sub roles without really knowing what they were. I realised quickly that that was exactly what I wanted, a safe controlled environment where I could hand the reins over, im a bit of a control freak/ambition whore irl...
I started to look into sub/dom relationships a few weeks ago and was lucky enough to find pretty much EXACTLY what I was looking for quite quickly.
My master is 33, experienced, kind and tells me how glad he is to have found me, he calls me perfect, and says hes really looking forward to training me. So so far, so good, im learning from reading that its common for masters to constantly ask what you are thinking...? That I didnt expect..
Im also constantly trying to rack my brains thinking of ways I can please him...I know I might sound very niave but any help from more experienced subs, or even a doms opinion would be very helpful!
Thanks guys!! :)
Also, my dom has told me to read 50 shades, he said that it is very one dimensional, and unrealistic, but it may help me understand more..




CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Brand spanking new.. (10/25/2012 3:57:05 PM)

Welcome to CollarMe, RosiesLearning.

Um, if he wants you to read 50 Shades of Grey...yes, of course. There are non-porn, non-fantasy BDSM books out there that will probably help you more though...like..
SM 101 by Jay Wiseman
Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual by Christina Abernathy
The Compleat Slave by Jack Rinella
The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
The Better Built Bondage Book by Douglas Kent (for making BDSM stuff, etc.)
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller and Molly Devon

I got most of my book collection (somewhere between 16 and 20) from Amazon.com and Ebay. The Better Built Bondage Book...(laughing)...I told my boy that I wanted that as part of my Valentine's Day, instead of chocolates. I woke up to flowers on the bed beside me, some Hershey's Kisses and the book. (Best. Valentine's. Day. EVER.)


quote:

So so far, so good, im learning from reading that its common for masters to constantly ask what you are thinking...? That I didnt expect..


I've known a few submissives whose Dominants have a different style than my own...and they did not care to know what their sub was thinking as long as she served the way he wanted.

My way? Everything about my slave is MY business and it's his job to keep me aware of any highs or lows, stressors, etc. Everything. [:D]

I started training bo to do this by asking him what he was feeling. I wanted to encourage his need to bring everything to me, the good the bad and the ugly, so that over time he would see that I am his safe harbor. My finger stays on his emotional pulse, so to speak, it's just my way and others may prefer something different.

There is a freedom in transparency that I wanted him to experience, something he has never had in his past vanilla relationships nor with his previous owner. Another point to make...how can I make good decisions for us if I don't know what I'm dealing with? Telling me what he thinks I want to hear instead of what he really feels...is, IMHO, counterproductive and dishonest, setting us both up for a fail. (It's polite though, lol.)

I hope you have a great time on your journey.




RosiesLearning -> RE: Brand spanking new.. (10/27/2012 11:21:19 AM)

first of all thank you for the book suggestions, I will def have a look at them, Ive started reading 50 shades and tbh find it a bit of a yawn.
I also think my dom is similar to you in that he wants to know about all aspects of me so he knows what he is dealing with...he is alarmingly accurate when he analyses why I think/do something..

What you said about 'freedom in transparency' has just stuck in my head...I have never shared this much of myself with past lovers...even long term bf's or friends. Its a strange concept... but I enjoy it and him very much...
Thanks again for your reply, I have more to
think about :)




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