Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity

Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (Full Version)

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wulfelaw -> Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 4:13:17 PM)
Well I've been on the site for a while, and finally decided to peek into the forums. Contrary to what I was expecting, there are actually more quality threads than not, which pleases me. It also gives me hope that I can get some quality answers to the following question. When perusing profiles, do you prefer seeing brief, although likely vague, descriptions of the person? Or do you prefer the more lengthy, verbose, several paragraphs of very detailed descriptions? Obviously the latter takes longer to read, and can be an annoyance if you read it all and decide to move on. However, I get exceedingly frustrated when I open a profile with little to nothing on it. (Yes, you're cute, if that pic is in fact you, but you have no content so I'm moving on...) Thoughts?

shadowwink -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 4:57:41 PM)
I like something in the middle. So, maybe not a full essay on someone's life, but several sentences about that person would be nice. Who is he/she, what are they looking for on this site - this is usually a good start, as well as at least some favorite kinks and limits mentioned.

sexyred1 -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 5:28:30 PM)
I want to see some pertinent information on basics, like being single or married and then something about how they think, if they sound intelligent, have a sense of humor and some vanilla interests. I hope to discern something of a personality from the profile. I am one who does not need to see all your BDSM interests, unless you are into something very specific, and that would help me make a decision on my interest level. I would rather see too much than too little.

AnimusRex -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 6:04:52 PM)
As with any writing, content matters. There are plenty of stream-of-consciousness profiles that essentially communicate one thought -"I NEED MEDICATION!!" Then there are others that go into lengthy detail of their sexuality,which again communicate that their primary focus is on a sexual relationship. Or the converse that signal that the person is looking for a lifetime romantic partner, instead of a sexual one. Tone matters- We all get jaded and frustrated at times, but no one really wants to go to lunch with someone who sounds like they are a step away from boiling a bunny on their ex's stove. Audience matters- if you are looking for someone who wants to be directed, don't appear vacillating or uncertain. And above all else- this being the internets, YMMV, contents may settle during shipping, and the object in the mirror may be larger than it appears.

kalikshama -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 6:10:12 PM)
My favorite profile is just over 500 words, tells me a lot about his thought process, and while it touches on kink, is not explicit. It didn't work out D/s wise, but I did cat-sit for him for 5 months :) Confession: he did have some smokin pictures, too.

wulfelaw -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 6:10:25 PM)
Well said

DomMeinCT -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 6:37:36 PM)
The quality of the words count. If you can describe yourself as a fully-functioning, interesting, compelling human in 100 words, then more power to you, but I think it probably takes a few hundred mature, thoughtful words. That said, there are also words/pics that detract for me: anything threatening to women/scammers who wouldn't read it anyway, bitching about fakes, nonconsensual pictures of other people who don't know they're on a BDSM website, and that ridiculous disclaimer about one's profile being copyrighted or not available for research.

kitkat105 -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 7:54:37 PM)
Something in between. Remember, you are advertising yourself (if you are actively seeking). What's so interesting about you that a sub/slave should get to know you better? What are your good qualities? What do you enjoy (vanilla)? Could (hypothethical) we have decent conversations?

RemoteUser -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 8:44:05 PM)
My profile is short and says everything I need it to. You have to figure out what you need to say and say it. Worry more about speeling and yer grammar then the length of the profile.

DesFIP -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 9:09:49 PM)
Both, either, neither. There are people who are naturally verbose, and you ought to know that before entering into a relationship. If you can't hack their profile being that, then you certainly won't enjoy talking to them. And there are the curt ones who barely say a word, which if you need a great deal of info into them on a daily basis means you aren't compatible. The profile ought to be a good representation of the person who wrote it. So you have better odds of knowing upfront whether or not you have a chance of compatibility. If you write one about 500 words, then whoever reads it will expect you to talk moderately. If you're closer to a clam, then you've deliberately misrepresented yourself. Same if 500 words is just an introductory statement for you. Be your authentic self, whoever that is. Because you aren't looking for most people here. You're looking for just one, the right one.

anniezz338 -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 10:00:00 PM)
I like them somewhat in the middle, about 3-4 paragraphs. Something to the effect of 1 paragraph about him, 1 about what he is looking for and 1 or 2 more what he likes and has done in the past. And content is every thing. And paragraphs. Long and lengthy without paragraphs and i drift away. Rants are a real turn off. Alot of profiles i read have a laundry list of what is expected of the slave/sub. As if to say "your feelings are no concern to me" ( that is an actual quote from one ). And also there are alot of purely sexual ones that think there is just kinky sex sluts on here. My own profile got lengthy in self defense lol.

xLaChienne -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/27/2012 10:21:37 PM)
I'm often described as laconic. My profile is a reflection of Me. I don't care if it is verbose or brief as long as it is a good reflection of the person writing it. Some people can be enthralling enough to want to read endless paragraphs. Others aren't. Some aren't inclined to it but are no less interesting. My preference would be a short profile with pertinent information with thoughts and such in the journal area. I see the profile as the bait. The journals, when done well, can be the hook. Regardless of how well written a profile is, long or short, how engaging and entertaining - if I don't find him attractive then it doesn't matter. So absolutely I am down with a decent, representative picture if not in profile then in the first few messages. Then again, I'm not likely to see the profile unless someone messages Me as I have yet to do a single search since joining the site. The joy of the gender divide. So mostly, have a decent enough first message to make Me want to take a peek at the profile. I would take a guess that it is much the same with most women.

littlewonder -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/28/2012 12:09:46 AM)
I am not interested in how short or long a profile is. I am interested when it says something about who he is as a person and what he is seeking in a woman.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/28/2012 12:16:03 AM)
If you are Hemingway, brevity. The rest of the world? about 3-4 paragraphs. I do like some music, poetry, quoting in the person's profile. It allows me to see what they see outside themselves as well. (But then I have that poet heart and all). Good luck in your search!

myotherself -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/28/2012 12:23:41 AM)
My profile had 8 paragraphs, which was enough for Master to know I was a good fit for him. His profile was one sentence, which didn't impress me much, but was eloquent enough for me to agree to chat to him.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/28/2012 1:16:07 AM)
Wulfe - I'm assuming you're asking in order to address your own profile, so would you mind some specific points towards that? I can see some positive things and also some off putting things in there. OK good stuff first: It's good that you mention you have a child, because that's gonna impact people's choices, and saying that you take this seriously reflects well on you. It's also good to mention interests and that you're pursuing your education, because that will show you have something to talk about. Now you say you want one sub and one slave, but you don't really explain why they need to be two seperate people. Is there a specific reason you can't do your sadistic stuff to you sub and then have her fix your lunch? Some people are poly of course, but that is a tough dynamic to set up and maintain - have you done it before? How will you make it work? Will you all live together? How will you meet everyone's needs? And - this is a big one - how does having a slave in such an extreme sense fit in with the idealistic family life you are seeking to create? OK now the description of the slave - truthfully this comes off as pretty unrealistic. You go right ahead and compare it to porn. You talk about 'unleashing your aggression and frustrations' which for me, even though I like sadists, says you're not in control of yourself. I will endure all sorts of stuff for my Master but we'd never have got that far if he lashed out in anger. Tell me what the slave gets from this. No mercy, no patience, no love? Poverty. Complete psychological wipe. The type of person willing to give up their entire life and personality for a relationship in which they won't be loved or treated with value is exactly the type of person you don't want to be in a relationship with. That's really unhealthy. I'd want to know what qualifies you to do this without permanent damage? What safeguards will be put into place. What happens when you get bored of this? Are you going to pay for therapy, support her financially until she is able to get back into work? I don't see any plus side to being your slave. And if I was interested in being your sub, even if I was up for poly, the slave stuff would put me off. If you're willing to abuse a person (by your own admission) then I'm not safe either. Think about it. I'd get rid of the world weary bits too - been around the block a few times etc - because although you may have taken on a lot in your time, you're still in your twenties and that will make a lot of people roll their eyes. It's great that you focus on the importance of being friends and being able to spend time together beyond kinky stuff for your sub - this to me is realistic and sustainable. So in short, the length is fine for what you wish to say, but I think if you are having problems you need to re-think your slave plan.

wulfelaw -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/28/2012 1:41:47 AM)
Thank you very much for you pointed, and specific, feedback. Allow me to reply in kind. First off, let me express my appreciation for your understanding that a poly dynamic is very difficult to establish and maintain. By its very nature, it requires a certain type of people. Yes I have lead a poly house before, and it failed because one of the parties wasn't upfront in the beginning about not wanting a poly 24/7 LTR. So I know full well the neccessity of choosing the right people with the right mindset. The need for separating the sub and slave into two separate people is answered withing your own inquiries, and by their very definition. A sub is not a slave, and a slave is not a sub. The extreme level of my enslavement that puts you off is exactly what some few people are looking for. This is a small group, an extreme group, but they exist. What I do not want, is someone to tell me they are extreme, only to reveal that this isn't what they wanted once they're into it. That's not good for anyone. As far as unleashing my aggression... You misread me, and perhaps I should go back and look more closely at my wording. That being said, a True Sadist does not lose control and lash out in anger. Some people allow life's frustrations to wash over them, some bottle it up, I focus it into a controlled release directed at a consenting masochist. And, as I side note, those who roll their eyes at a statement because of age, and ignore the statement itself, are not ones I care to talk to. Thank you again for you detailed response. Now I'm going to go check on that wording. :)

kalikshama -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/28/2012 5:31:35 AM)
I had essentially the same reactions as Athena. Additionally, you come across as being an "old soul" in the profile but negate this with the picture of you with the beer. I'd change one or the other so as to not create dissonance. Let us know when you've tweaked it.

Toysinbabeland -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/28/2012 5:56:26 AM)
My profile is succinct, and I believe it is slightly skewed to be protective of myself. Some take offense to that, but it stops the player mail, or at least weeds it out.

Kana -> RE: Profile content... Brevity v. Verbosity (10/28/2012 9:25:10 AM)
I'm ADD, so real long profiles, especially ones improperly spaced and not broken into paragraphs make me glaze over. Besides which, I'm a guy of the male ilk, and it's a well known fact that we never, ever, under any circumstances whatsoever , even penalty of death, mutilation and/or castration, read profiles, so we all know that I'm full of shit here and completely talking out of my ass. Now my profile, yeah, I've rewritten it more than a few times over the years and it's never been longer than about five paragraphs (Each of which follows standard writing rules(3-5 sentences)), not much more. Currently it's tight. concise. and says everything I need in less than about 100 words. Of course, I also believe that droning on and on about oneself, particularly in a male dom, is a sign of ego and I don't think that's attractive at all. I think tidiness is a sign of an uncluttered mind-it demonstrates the discipline that comes with maturity. And I'm somewhat biased as far as English goes-when it comes to writing (Thanks to some mean mean professors who just harshed on my writing, made me do things like cut every third word out of sentences and stuff), I'm fully in the Hemingway "Brevity is beautiful" camp. Cripes, Victorian novels (When people got paid by the word) are tough to read. Beautiful, yes. Wonderful language-yep? Could be edited to 1/2 their length-also soooo true. Save a tree today, write with clarity and brevity. It's good for the earth!

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