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Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/28/2012 6:32:06 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		I was reading a profile with all the Ward and June Cleaver points and wonder how that works in real life. Todays world is so much different than days of then. Is there anyone living this lifestyle and how does it work for you? What are the downfalls and upsides? What does domestic discipline entail?

Thanks in advance....

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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/28/2012 6:33:08 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		I don't think it's that different, other than the fact that many families can no longer afford to live on one income.

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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/28/2012 6:55:22 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I grew up that way. I've never known any other way. I grew up with my childhood sweetheart and married him so for both of us it was just normal. I've never had any downsides except maybe having to tell friends that I needed to call him to make sure it was ok. I'd get the eye roll. Otherwise, no, no downsides at all. For me this is just how it is. I don't know any other way.

I hated being single and being a single mom. It was incredibly difficult without a husband/partner in my life. I had to learn how to do everything alone, I had to go to work to make a living, I had to raise a fatherless child. For me, it was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. But I did it because I had no other choice.

When I met Master though I was incredibly relieved that he took charge right from the beginning and he still does. For me this is the most comfortable place to be.

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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 8:44:29 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		We're pretty much a 1950s relationship with a little S&M and Daddy Dom thrown in.

But, we do have two incomes. I have the benefit of working for myself and working from home, which makes my time more flexible.

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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 10:08:56 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I think that many people has a misperception of the 50's household. They view it as the Taken In Hand type of relationship, which is cool.

However, the realities (from what I have been told) in many cases, were not as wonderful as you may think.

I believe that women (and men) were very much consigned to roles that made them unhappy and repressed. I believe that many women did not have the opportunities in business that they do now.

The grass always looks greener.

The only good thing, to me, about that time period, is that people still had to actually talk to other people and date to get to know each other. No texting then!

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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 10:09:19 AM   
JanahX


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Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		The problem I see mainly with a 1950 household, is that the bottom, needs to have their own money. Unless they are independently wealthy, its not a good plan to depend on someone else for your financial security if and when the relationship ends. There is no guarantee that the money making party is going to look out for the welfare of their ex-partner no matter what is said or done in advance.

So what would not be consistent in a 1950's household -is that most couples work full time outside the home. Then chores have to be divided inside the home - otherwise, one person will be working full time outside the home and inside the home, which would leave no time or energy to put towards the relationship.



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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 10:59:28 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		When I was married, we had shared accounts. Neither of us had separate accounts. We would have looked at that and scratched our heads trying to figure out why we would want to. I also didn't work except for the occasional temp position. We had a child together and for us everything was shared. After he died I had no other choice than to work and to have my own accounts and such. Master and I don't share accounts mainly because we're not married nor do we technically live together, even though I think he sees my place as his second home. If we were married though I would have no problems with sharing accounts. Even now, if he said he wanted to be on my accounts I would have no problems with that.

One of my sisters has a "secret" separate account and to me that's just really weird. To me it says, screw you and I'm already planning for the end of our marriage.


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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 11:01:45 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I think that many people has a misperception of the 50's household. They view it as the Taken In Hand type of relationship, which is cool. However, the realities (from what I have been told) in many cases, were not as wonderful as you may think. I believe that women (and men) were very much consigned to roles that made them unhappy and repressed. I believe that many women did not have the opportunities in business that they do now.

All of which is true but changes little. In my opinion the issue with the 50's was that those societal roles were mandated for everyone.... effectively making every female a slave and every male a master. That sort of setup works well for Carol and I and we probably would have been reasonably happy. But what about all the couples for whom M/s isn't really workable? That's where the unhappiness comes from... forcing people into non-native roles.


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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 11:54:08 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

All of which is true but changes little. In my opinion the issue with the 50's was that those societal roles were mandated for everyone.... effectively making every female a slave and every male a master. That sort of setup works well for Carol and I and we probably would have been reasonably happy. But what about all the couples for whom M/s isn't really workable? That's where the unhappiness comes from... forcing people into non-native roles.



This is my opinion too.

I guess we're 1950-ish. He works, I'm home with the baby. I keep house, he's the boss. It works and we are happy.

But we haven't always had this set up and I dare say it won't always be this way. It's nice to have the option to have my own career. I wouldn't want to actually go back to the 50s. The more choices a person has the more chance they have of finding what makes them happy.

I'm also not a subscriber to the whole seperate accounts things. We are both responsible for the house and the kids, we both need to eat and wear clothes. Neither of us would want to have money for luxuries if the other person was going without. If he couldn't work, then I'd be out there doing it - I don't see it as him giving me money to keep house. I didn't go into this marriage with the attitude that it was going to end either and so far, no worries in that department.

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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 12:03:31 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
One of my sisters has a "secret" separate account and to me that's just really weird. To me it says, screw you and I'm already planning for the end of our marriage.


I actually have one too. However, mine is for his Christmas, Birthday and anniversary gifts.


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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 7:22:36 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		I think Jeff puts it well; we have a Male Dom/ female sub dynamic, and love it very much; but I know plenty of people for whom just the opposite works, and trying to fit into ours would be painful.

And as others mention, we need two incomes to make ends meet, so it does limit her ability to focus entirely on the home.

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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 7:38:01 PM   
LonDom61


Posts: 196
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, these days each needs their own income. Good for the couple's bottom line. Necessary if they split. (Barring the whole alimony thing; yuck)

Seems to me Oside's got a great way to do that. He goes off to work. She stays home...but still works, so has income too. Nice.

These days there are more & more ways to pull off working from home.


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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 8:03:10 PM   
Aynne88


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Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
We aren't really "1950's" but in the winter I don't usually work, I am a bartender and my money is big in the spring and summer, we live in a really touristy area on the coast of Maine, but we are traditional. He owns his own business and from now til probably April I work for him, and he pays me, but that money usually goes things like groceries and mutual household bills.

I like being the one doing all the cooking, making his lunch in the morning and dinner ready when he gets home. He works his ass off as a General Contractor and makes way more money than me so to me it's just a fair distribution of equity. He spends no money foolishly, he doesn't go out with the boys or any of that and he deserves to have a wife that takes care of him since he takes care of everything else. As far as discipline, we don't live that way. We are more of a kink in the bedroom at times and equal at other times with him being the main decision maker when it comes to it.

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RE: Pros and cons of 1950's household, domestic discipline - 10/29/2012 8:21:04 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


Posts: 958
Joined: 6/4/2012
Status: offline 		Oh off the top of my head I can say I have been able to stay home and take care of our children. I have always felt bad for the moms on other parenting message boards when they post how they have to leave their baby and go back to work. I have never had to do that. Most of our meals are home cooked from scratch.

The biggest con is finances. We were still able to buy a house and we live comfortably but we are not able to do as much as families with two incomes. I think for some there would be more but we have a very good marriage. I have been hit hard with this pregnancy. I would get up to clean and feel dizzy and sick unlike my other two. I felt guilty when he would work all week then spend his weekend off helping me but he is that type of guy. At least now in my 5th month it is finally better and we are back to normal of I take care of the house and kids while he goes to work.

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