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new to being a submissive - 10/30/2012 1:15:57 PM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

hello to everyone

I have found a wonderful submissive, and he is willing to be the submissive I wish
for!

But it is so hard to get him to open up but he says (he is willing to be a good submissive and will
listen to whatever I wish to do)!!

Now we both have hard limits and we both agree on many things he does not want or like, these things
I do agree are things I wish to not do with or too him, he agrees on the hard limits I have

So we have came o an agreement on those things, but he is hard to get to I know it is do to him being nervous!

How do I have him open up more? He also has a things whihc is vry exciting for him and we both make it a plan 'to have'
him wear this!
He is adorable and kind and sometimes forgetful which the last time he was warned and he did have a punishment!

It is something to find that right person, I want to make sure he can open up and let go, but how do I find his opening?

thank you so much for reading all of the help I can get will be so helpful, I know things but not all of them!

Best Regards

Mons I hope everyone who is on the east coast is ok , I have family there, in newjesry and Pa , good luck to all!

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RE: new to being a submissive - 10/30/2012 1:17:23 PM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Sorry for the misspelled words

MOns

(in reply to mons)

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RE: new to being a submissive - 10/30/2012 1:43:27 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Be patient, make it safe for him when is is able to open up. Watch and control your reactions when,he says something,you dont want to hear.

Find out what makes him not speak up? Afraid its topping,from the bottom, called a freak, rejected, etc...then,set out to be different, be the one he,can trust and open up to.

(in reply to mons)

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RE: new to being a submissive - 10/30/2012 2:12:42 PM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Simply Micheal

I hope you did not mind but it is strange I had looked at your profile and I read it, and it was earlier today,
you are amazing who ever gets you will be treasured!!

Your advice is so needed and so true I did not think about that part, of listening to what he says oh wait i did
but not in the way you said it!!!

Thank you so much I will remember what you have given me a treasured piece of great advice!

Best regards

Mons

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

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RE: new to being a submissive - 10/30/2012 3:16:54 PM

Darkfeather

Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline

Everyone comes into this lifestyle with wants, expectations, dreams, desires, etc. The key to success is finding out what his are, and letting him know what yours are. The best way, talking. Sit down and have a heart to heart, what you both want, what you both like. Be honest with each other. Once you both are comfortable, that hesitation should lessen

(in reply to mons)

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RE: new to being a submissive - 10/31/2012 10:55:20 AM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

So we have came o an agreement on those things, but he is hard to get to I know it is do to him being nervous!

How do I have him open up more? He also has a things whihc is vry exciting for him and we both make it a plan 'to have'
him wear this!
He is adorable and kind and sometimes forgetful which the last time he was warned and he did have a punishment!

It is something to find that right person, I want to make sure he can open up and let go, but how do I find his opening?

This is such a sweet post...you sound like really nice people. I really hope this works out for both of you!

I'm a pretty open and communicative man, but I can identify with what your new sub may be feeling. I can be the same way with a new, or relatively new, partner. It doesn't matter how much I care for her, how much I trust her, or how comfortable I feel around her - it just takes time for the communication to deepen, for a web of connections to develop and strengthen on enough levels that my innermost thoughts and feelings find their way to the surface and express themselves. As i feel more and more "as one" with my partner - as we bond more closely, and as I come to feel more and more that the two of us are woven into the fabric of each other's hearts and souls - the communication just flows more naturally.

Hopefully, that's true foryour new sub as well. Good luck to both of you. May this prove to be the last remaining obstacle to your new relationship, and may it resolve quickly and completely.

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

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RE: new to being a submissive - 10/31/2012 9:55:43 PM

ivone1

Posts: 111
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

get to know him better as a person... become his friend ... make him feel comfortable around you and things will work out fine

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)

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