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minimum age for a sub? - 6/15/2006 3:05:00 AM

reallyyoung

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Joined: 6/13/2006
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I was just wondering how old must a sub be, or how young can a sub be for a domme lady to even take him into consideration?
thx

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/15/2006 3:13:00 AM

SeveredNeuron

Posts: 57
Joined: 8/6/2005
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I got into the online scene community/whatever you really want to call it when i was about 14/15, and i would say thats far too young, i think even 18/19 is too young because there is no way of being able to understand the implications of what D/s (or BDSM) is, and its a very dangerous world for younger people as we dont really have the know how or stability to handle things when things go bad.
When i was around 14-15 no-one would even consider me as an online sub, (which i do not do anymore nor have done for some years) which leaves you in a fairly dangerous area because the only other people willing to be involved with you are most likely people who are going to abuse you for their own deprivations. Unfortunately this is what happened to me.
Ofcourse i am not saying that there arent nice people out there who will take on young subs or slaves, but theres alot more people who would potentially hurt you just because age usually means inexperience and naivety.

Either way, Just always be careful and use your senses, its pretty much all you can rely on.

Good luck!
--Ania

(in reply to reallyyoung)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/15/2006 7:11:15 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
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quote:

ORIGINAL: reallyyoung

I was just wondering how old must a sub be, or how young can a sub be for a domme lady to even take him into consideration?
thx

That depends on the individual you are looking to be in a relationship with.

I see nothing wrong with any age as long as it is legal -- to do otherwise is asking for the mundane world to get involved in your life in ways you will not like.

Personally I like 20-40 myself cause it fits nicely into the age spread we all ready have in my household. Plus it is a good generation definition and as I get older, the ages will likely move up with me.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to reallyyoung)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/15/2006 7:23:53 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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It really depends on the person. Some people behave maturely at 18. Some don't at 45. I've had a submissive who is14 years younger (turned 21 on Tuesday, as a matter-of-fact). I've had a husband who was 12 years older. I have a slave who is 20 years older.

As far as an absolute minimum, you have to be old enough that you're not jail bait. That means 18 for people who are more than 2 years older than you unless you can absolutley prove that no sex is going on (good luck with that).

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to reallyyoung)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/15/2006 7:26:23 AM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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And hon, if you can't find honest things to say in your profile, that doesn't speak well about yourself. Although, the admission is admirable. We all lie, but when trying to establish a relationship, it's not a good idea. If you use the search function in the forums, you can find lots of suggestions about what to include in your profile.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to reallyyoung)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/15/2006 8:34:39 AM

Lashra

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For me personally the age bracket is 30-50 regardless of gender.

~Lashra

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/15/2006 9:02:53 AM

YoungBlondeSlave

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Joined: 2/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: reallyyoung

I was just wondering how old must a sub be, or how young can a sub be for a domme lady to even take him into consideration?
thx

When I made my first venture into this lifestyle I was very young as well. My first Dom had me when I was 19. Luckily for me he was very patient, very kind and more than happy to teach me about things that I was curious to learn. Sadly, he moved away and we lost contact but I will never forget him and always appreciate him for everything that he did for me.

Now I am having problems with just the opposite. My owner is young, younger than I am and people find out and tell me "You need someone with experience, he can't do for you what I can do for you." The power that that man has over me with just his voice is far more than any man has had over me...ever.

However, reallyyoung you do need to be very careful with you begin this adventure with, there are many people just like SeveredNeuron said who are more than willing to take advantage of your novice status and could possibly cause you a great deal of harm. Take things slowly, get to know the person and go from there. Don't go totally hardcore into anything because you may put yourself in a situation that you don't really want to be in. Even though I am owned my owner still takes things slow with me just because my relationship previous to him fucked me up pretty bad, lucky for me he is very patient and understanding because we both believe that this will be a lasting relationship and we want to start it off on the right foot.

Best wishes in finding someone who complements you and will take care of you the way that I do my owner and vice versa.

(in reply to reallyyoung)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/15/2006 9:34:08 AM

MisPandora

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Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: reallyyoung

I was just wondering how old must a sub be, or how young can a sub be for a domme lady to even take him into consideration?
thx

I think that's a personal decision based upon what the needs of the individual mistress are.

Me personally, I prefer the alpha slave to be between 30 and 45 for me. I'm 35 myself and prefer that age parameter to retain some social propriety.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to reallyyoung)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/16/2006 3:32:56 AM

mons

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greeting to all

I will not seek anyone under 29 some are just too young minded, they have no ideal what bdsm is all about. As for anyone 19 no way.

best wishes
mons/jane

(in reply to MisPandora)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/16/2006 8:16:02 AM

SweetDommes

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Joined: 10/5/2004
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Because we want our relationships to be long lasting, permanent relationships, we have based our age range on our experience of who we are most likely to be compatable with: 24-36 (the age range moves with our ages ... 2 years younger than Holly, 8 years older than me). We know some who only want young, 'untainted' submissives (however, most of those, I would avoid, if I were you). We know some who want younger submissives because they are younger than we are ... so it makes sense. And there are just as many who won't take anyone younger than 35 ... or 40 ...

Just remember to be patient. Many on this site are in their 30s (or older) and have been looking since they were close to your age. Someone a few months ago posted something along the lines of this comparison:

The pickier you are, the more trouble you will have finding what you are looking for.

It's easy to find a blue used car.
It's a little more difficult to find a blue used mustang.
It's a little more difficult to find a blue used mustang convertable.
It's a more difficult to find a blue, used mustang convertable with less than 50,000 miles on it.
It's really difficult to find a blue, used mustang 1992 convertable with less than 50,000 miles on it with leather seats, power windows, heated seats, cd player and .... whatever else you might look for in a car.

Same with a partner. It's easy to find a woman, it's more difficult to find a Domme, and it's often very difficult to find a Domme that you are actually compatable with.

(in reply to mons)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/16/2006 12:38:20 PM

strob

Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

And hon, if you can't find honest things to say in your profile, that doesn't speak well about yourself. Although, the admission is admirable. We all lie, but when trying to establish a relationship, it's not a good idea. If you use the search function in the forums, you can find lots of suggestions about what to include in your profile.

Master Fire

perhaps he cannot write it all due to collarme rules

< Message edited by strob -- 6/16/2006 12:40:04 PM >

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/16/2006 1:23:56 PM

bschwimmer

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I was 16 but said i was 18

(in reply to strob)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/17/2006 7:36:24 AM

FelinePersuasion

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Joined: 11/20/2004
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I don't want any one under 21 as a sub or as a friend, because I go to play parties and munches and stuff and I excpect any one who wants to sub to me to go to, and if he's19 0r 20 sorry he can't go. Most places are 21 and over.

Same with if I want to get a drink at olive garden cause it's mybirthday. He can't drink with me.

I know Iknow lots of people are like well slip it to him under the table or buy it for him or yada yada.

nuh uh legal to drink or you aint drinking with me.

(in reply to bschwimmer)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/17/2006 7:46:28 AM

thetammyjo

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Not a direct reply but did anyone else see the report in today's newspapers about a Colorado appeals court deciding that common-law-marriage is acceptable for 15 year old girls and may be acceptable for 12 year old girls and 14 year old boys?!

Oh, my god! Many girls don't even have periods by age 12!

Made me think that I need to adjust what I said about legal age to consent to be something like through high school or the legal age.

Now this is a direct reply to FelinePersuasion:

I wouldn't go to a munch or a workshop or a BDSM organization that didn't allow adults (18-20) to attend their events. I mean, they are old enough to draft to fight the wars of chickenhawks but not to learn about BDSM face-to-face?

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/17/2006 8:37:47 AM

LadiesBladewing

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Joined: 8/31/2005
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Because we focus on service submission, we only require that a servant be of legal age in our community to take them on in training. However, we have noted that many of the younger servants-in-training do not stick with it long, once they realize that it is considerably different from the fantasies they've developed. We've also confirmed for ourselves, though, that maturity and age are two profoundly different things, and that some younger individuals are more mature and dedicated than their older-by-calendar counterparts.

ZWD

_____________________________

"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to reallyyoung)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/17/2006 8:50:13 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: reallyyoung
I was just wondering how old must a sub be, or how young can a sub be for a domme lady to even take him into consideration?
thx

I think it depends on the individual Domme. In My case, I am seeking a life partner as well as a submissive or slave, and I have found that I tend to get along best with people plus or minus ten years from My age. That means I am seeking a relatively mature sub or slave around 39 - 59. However, 10 years ago, before I knew Myself as well as I do now, I owned a 23-year old sub when I was 39. That relationship lasted a year and helped Me realize I prefer someone closer to My age.

On the other hand, I recently saw an ad on Collarme from a Woman close to My age seeking young sub males 18 - 25. I also have a friend in her early 40's who prefers subs around age 25.

The minimal acceptable age varies from person to person, but I have never run across a Domme who would consider a sub under 18.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to reallyyoung)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/17/2006 11:29:12 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
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For me the minimum age is 21. I do adult things and while on errands if I want to stop and get a beer, I don't want to worry about having a sub get carded. Likewise if he's shopping for me he can't by alcohol. Anyone 21 and older I will consider but the reality is I prefer men who are at least 30. We simply have more to talk about, they have enough experience to know where their head is and are generally successful and intelligent. It is just, personality wise, a better fit with me than most much younger subs. There are, however, always exceptions to that rule.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to reallyyoung)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/17/2006 11:46:34 AM

littlelostbunny

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Joined: 6/15/2006
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I'm 18, new and uncollared, and would like to attend a munch (if I could find any in my area). There are some sites and some groups with websites that insist I be 21 to enter or to check out their group. It might be because some of the sites/groups are in states where 21 is the legal age. It bugs me a little bit, but rules are rules, and I'll do my best to follow them until I'm "old enough." (Then again, I've been peeking into 18- and 21- only sites since I was 12...)

As for drinking, I wouldn't want the people I'm out with to try and sneak me drinks. For one, I'd feel horrible if they got caught. For another, I just don't drink.

LuckyAlbatross recommended to me that I not commit to anyone for a long while (six months). It's good advice for younger people, in general. Personally, I need to grow up and figure out what I'm looking for.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/18/2006 12:57:17 PM

MistrssM

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Joined: 1/15/2005
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In my case I'm 38 and I always prefer younger subs.... it's a natural teacher/student dynamic I enjoy... my last slave of 3 1/2 years was 10 years my junior.
When it comes to age I tend to go more by maturity then a number... I have met many a 45 year old who had the maturity of a 12 year old and some 21 year olds with very old souls.I don't believe as some do that someone in their 20's is too young to know or be serious about BDSM. I think due to the age of the internet people are discovering and exploring their DS/BDSM interest much younger. When I was a teen I had to go sneak peaks at Exit to Eden in the public library and thought I was the only one out there like this. Now the world of BDSM is in most teens bedroom on the net. The other day I met a 26 year old who has more years of experience then me and snuck into fetish parties at 16 with a fake ID. As for what would be my personal age limits I would say 21 or at the very least a very mature 18..... I think from a legal stand point it's best. I would never want some parents showing up on my doorstep and I do like to attend fetish parties and most in my area are 18 and up. I have shared advice ( non sexually explicit) for younger teens who have approached me politely and sincerely online. I think its a very dangerous world out there and the craving to explore this can sometimes lead young people into unhealthy situations and there are people who will prey on the young. I feel in some ways its up to us not to critisize and dismiss them as "too young" but rather warn them a tad and steer them into a direction that is safer for them to explore until their age catches up to legality.

(in reply to littlelostbunny)

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RE: minimum age for a sub? - 6/18/2006 3:23:41 PM

DommeShi