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Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 4:38:07 AM   
confidentmaster


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		Hi all,
I know it sounds pathetic and most "un-dom like" but I am on a real downer.  I have replied to a few posts on this site and shared lots about myself and feelings but eventually get to the show you photos stage.  Now I am no oil painting but I never saw myself as hideous, so why does every sub woman break off contact when they see a photo. 

I am generally confident and self assured but my experience so far is that subs seem to be of the opinion that Dom's don't have feelings like everyone else. 

Any if you like, have a look at my profile and let me know any suggestions.  Please note that the obvious one of posting a photo on the profile is not an option due to the relatively small population where I live.
cheers
CM
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 4:59:56 AM   
sabswife


Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		well -- i know its probably not much comfort, but if someone broke off contact because of a photograph, it wasn't meant to be in the first place.  don't assume its the photo tho, it could have just been a cooincidence, or something else that cooincided with the exchange of the photos.  maybe you have simply been talking to players, again i don't know enough about the sitation to know what went down exactly.

when you meet the right person -- for me -- it doesn't matter what they look like.  my Dom could have been purple with 7 eyes and i don't think i could have been put off (although i can't say this for 100% because there was a definate instant attraction when i did see His photo)-- but i was already in love with Him before i saw Him -- i'm sure many skeptics will read that and roll their eyes, but its the truth. 

maybe you should start exchanging photos earlier on-- since you feel this is the case, then you don't end up baring your soul and wasting your time?

_____________________________

"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."


(in reply to confidentmaster)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 5:30:20 AM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		At least you get a reply or 2. I don't even get replies and I don't think its
my picture. As I read profiles there are very few femsubs looking for a Dom my
age even if they are over 55.


_____________________________

Awrabest,

Mr. Pete

Boycott Citgo

(in reply to sabswife)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 5:35:23 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		A good picture is worth a lot, there are many here who ONLY contacted me after I posted a picture.  Of course all profess to love my writing but didn't contact me when I was just writing.

Many would probably attack men for being hung up on finding attractive women too.

I have no idea why they cut off contact, it could be that after a couple of emails they find something they don't like and it isn't actually the picture that does it.  Most here aren't worth bothering with, there are very certainly some genuine gems, but like life, those are never easy to get and valuable when you do.  Anyway, best of luck with it.

(in reply to MrrPete)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 5:38:10 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		The first thing i noticed is that you do not have much of a description of who you are or what you like. Be a little more descriptive of you physical appearance, your vanilla likes and dislikes and what you are looking for and what you offer.

The second thing is this from your profile;

"Given that I am totally in love with a vanilla girl I guess you would need to be open to a polyamorous relationship.  Online is fine for a start but you need to see moving to R/L as the outcome."

You need to state whether or not your vanilla partner is willing to do poly and her contact info or an offer of her contact info if a subbie is interested, this makes an interested party feel more at ease.

Honesty counts for a lot but the totally in love line actually makes it appear you are not looking for someone you and your partner are willing to learn to love. Not many simply wished to be used. Poly is about creating a loving family unit irregardless if it also includes M/s. It is not about simply acquiring another sex partner. 



_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to confidentmaster)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 6:18:08 AM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		Looking at the profile, I would suggest clarifying about the "totally in love with a vanilla girl" issue and how it relates to polyamory. Does she know about this, or will you be skulking around behind her back? Also, I'd put up a picture. Small town? Screw 'em...they don't get much smaller than the little village where I live. Failing that, I would, as suggested above, get to that picture sending point sooner, just to save time and trouble.
 
Minor profile quibble: Your spelling needs a little touch-up.
 
Bob

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to confidentmaster)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 7:32:46 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		The one sure way to get around that roller coaster of emotions is to just post your photo right off. That way, those that contact you with a sincere email, are obviously ready to look beyond the physical. This is the same reason I include that I'm a Master and things about my spirituality on my more vanilla webpage on myspace. It saves time.

If you truly don't want to list your photo because of a small town, switch your town to the nearest big city, then indicate that you live X miles away.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to confidentmaster)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 7:50:21 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Is there a reason you cannot place your height/weight and relative description of yourself on profile?
It is possible some folks are disappearing  after looking; sometimes it's the photo, sometimes it's simply people being flaky online.   I believe you ought to be as honest and forthright as possible, and that way you will most likely attract someone based on honest information rather than their visualizing someone with nic "confident master."  

Oh and this like
quote:

Given that I am totally in love with a vanilla girl I guess you would need to be open to a polyamorus relationship
rubs me completely wrong and not because of the polyamory clause.  
<<<---  Will now step outta this since she is not sub anyway.   M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 6/15/2006 7:54:14 AM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to confidentmaster)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 7:58:58 AM   
HisTicia


Posts: 203
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with MasterFireMaam....I live in a really, really small town.. in a bible-belt type place.. I just used the closest city to me.. which is about 25 min away..and then once I get to know someone a bit.. I tell them the actual town.  That way I could post my pic..and not have to worry about hurt feelings if I sent it later and they didn't think I was attractive.  Saved me a lot of time and energy.. that pause while you wait to see what they think of you.. if they didn't like the way I looked..they wouldn't have written in the first place. 
 
Also the being in love with a vanilla part...I personally don't like to share.. so if I had seen that.. I would never have responded.. other than a "thanks..but no thanks". Most of us would like to feel that you could love us also..but it seems your heart is already taken in that area.. so you might change the wording a bit.. and explain exactly what you are looking for.  Is it just a play partner.. once in a while thing.. because you are with someone..you might get lucky and find a sub that either doesn't mind..or that is in the same situtation.

_____________________________

All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours. ~Browning

Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. ~Buddha


(in reply to confidentmaster)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 8:02:40 AM   
BreakMeShakeMe


Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

A good picture is worth a lot, there are many here who ONLY contacted me after I posted a picture.  Of course all profess to love my writing but didn't contact me when I was just writing.

Many would probably attack men for being hung up on finding attractive women too.

I have no idea why they cut off contact, it could be that after a couple of emails they find something they don't like and it isn't actually the picture that does it.  Most here aren't worth bothering with, there are very certainly some genuine gems, but like life, those are never easy to get and valuable when you do.  Anyway, best of luck with it.


Crappy... your pic avatar looks like a twin to charlie sheen after being on a binge...lol
(Just kidding)

Serious though... you're right... when I do not have a pic on my profile..I get all these nice e-mails.. chats.. that lead to pics.. once they get pic.. Poof!

Go figure...lol...it's nice to know right up front that looks are more important than the person themselves.

I use to be  leary of my pics.. because of my medical problem I gained alot of weight...and I wasn't happy. Sense losing alot I've gotten better about it. And a couple of months ago, I met this young Marine here in town, who is just a friend. And he made me feel comfortable about being seen in public with him. To the point that while at apple bees.. the waiter made a comment about he could do better.... and I've never seen a man move so fast as he snatched him up and made his appologize to me and my girls who were sitting there. And we still go out together...and love to make others think we're a couple not just friends now...LOL




_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 8:19:15 AM   
LiliesDoGrow


Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		<fast reply to>

Why are seeking anyone if you are so "totally in love".

Sometimes people just like to collect pictures. Nothing personal involved. Most likely your rejection if because of your wanting someone to take a second place in your life. If that.

An ugly man with a terrific personality who is attentive and caring  can suddenly become mighty handsome in the eyes of a woman.

(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 8:50:21 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

An ugly man with a terrific personality who is attentive and caring  can suddenly become mighty handsome in the eyes of a woman.


This must be true, since I do pretty well
However since i have an abrrasive personality, I must be damned attentive and caring eh?


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to LiliesDoGrow)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 8:51:59 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Perhaps you could send a pic of yourself in the first email? I have no idea what you look like, so I do not know what to tell you, but I will say that there are a lot of people that base their decisions to talk with someone in a romantic sense on looks. I am not one of these.. although even I have a few deal breakers in the looks department. I am usually not very concerned about it personally

Others have already commented on your profile, so I won't,  I just wanted to say is I would rather people that are judging me based on a picture were out of my way as fast as possible then exchange several emails first. I would feel more rejected on a personal level if that were the case. Good Luck!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to confidentmaster)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 10:40:29 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		One thing to note regarding photos. Some people photograph exceptionally well and some don't photgraph well at all.

So even if you have a great picture they might not like you in person.

Anyone who's going to judge on a picture alone really isn't worth your time. In my opinion anyway.


_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Really sad Dom - 6/15/2006 12:59:32 PM   
sisteretal


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		Sir,
I thought Your profile was great until I got to the sentence about You having a vanilla girlfriend. No matter how far I stretch my imagination... I personally don't see much hope of having a harmonious poly household if the other female is vanilla.

I could be wrong, but that's just my opinion.

Respectfully ~ phoenix

(in reply to confidentmaster)
Profile   Post #: 15
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