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[Poll]

Disablity and Relationships

I am a PWD, and always keep relationships to able bodied persons.

8% (2)

I am a PWD and have dated other PWD.

32% (8)

I am not a PWD. and have had not had rekations with a PWD

32% (8)

I am not a PWD and have had rekationship with a PWD.

28% (7)

Total Votes : 25

(last vote on : 1/15/2013 4:45:56 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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Disablity and Relationships - 10/31/2012 4:23:56 PM

MstrPBK

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Disability is not as simple of eyeglasses or contact lens. It can be hearing, speech, balance. allergic reactions, blood deficiencies,chemical balances, Mental disorders, and thousands of other things that my impair ones life. Consider the statements below and chose the one that comes closest to your experiances. Remember the subject looks at intimate relationships, not simply friendships

Please Note: The options above had limited space to be written; so PWD stands for Person(s) with Disability.

< Message edited by MstrPBK -- 10/31/2012 4:26:01 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 10/31/2012 5:27:17 PM

Rule

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I have got the herpes virus and an impaired immune system re virusses and cancers, according to my opinion. So 1. I do not wish to infect another person with this deadly disease, and 2. I have to avoid the risk of being infected with another virus. And 3. I cannot take care of myself nor provide for myself. And 4. I have never truly dated anyone.

I do not feel competent to participate in the poll.

(in reply to MstrPBK)

Post #: 2

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 10/31/2012 5:49:06 PM

kalikshama

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If you count alcoholism as a disability, then many men I've dated have been disabled >_<

I didn't realize that R had Narcissistic Personality Disorder until after I moved in with him, so it did not factor into my decision.

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RE: Disablity and Relationships - 10/31/2012 6:13:58 PM

Rule

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If you are a natural slave, it is a perfect fit. If you are a true sub, you have got a lot in common. So actually his NPD might be a plus.

Personally, during the past five years I have got some bad experiences with people with NPD.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 4

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 10/31/2012 6:33:00 PM

defiantbadgirl

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I have scoliosis and possible deteriorating disks in my lower spine. I'm not on SSI or SSDI. Before I met my husband/sir, I would have been willing to date someone with a slight physical disability as long as they weren't on SSI. Unlike SSDI, SSI is income based. The income limits are set so low that even if both people are on SSI, getting married results in partial loss of income and Medicaid. That's why most people on SSI never get married. Since I was always marriage minded, someone being on SSI was a dealbreaker.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 10/31/2012 6:34:16 PM >

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Post #: 5

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/1/2012 2:34:28 AM

ShaharThorne

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I am disabled and not in any relationship. I did have relationships with other disabled persons and able-bodied people. These days, men are willing to start a relationship with me even if I am upfront about my disability. They are usually looking for a quick piece IMHO.

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RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/1/2012 12:06:48 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

If you are a natural slave, it is a perfect fit. If you are a true sub, you have got a lot in common. So actually his NPD might be a plus.

It was a plus for a while, until the enmeshment became suffocating.

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Post #: 7

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/6/2012 10:35:32 AM

stellauk

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I have relationships with people because of what's in their mind and heart. Disabilities are about as important or relevant as the colour of someone's hair or eyes.

Have I been in a relationship with someone with disabilities? Yes, of course.

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Post #: 8

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/6/2012 12:29:35 PM

LadyRedRoseToo

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i have dated pwd before i became disabled. i was engaged to a disabled vet until his ptsd got in the way. since then i've found that guys who want to date me, pwd or not, think i'm desperate for attention so they'll give me a sympathy fuck and it'll be an easy piece of ass. sorry, i'd rather be alone than be a cheap thrill.

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Post #: 9

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/6/2012 1:02:21 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk

I have relationships with people because of what's in their mind and heart. Disabilities are about as important or relevant as the colour of someone's hair or eyes.

Have I been in a relationship with someone with disabilities? Yes, of course.

This.

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Post #: 10

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/7/2012 1:43:03 AM

metamorfosis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk
Disabilities are about as important or relevant as the colour of someone's hair or eyes.

No offense intended, but that's more than a little silly.

Pam

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Post #: 11

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/7/2012 2:22:13 AM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorfosis

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk
Disabilities are about as important or relevant as the colour of someone's hair or eyes.

No offense intended, but that's more than a little silly.

Pam

^^^ I disagree completely. I think Stella is right.

I am married to my PWD. She is actually registered disabled too.

I didn't even think about her disabilities when we met and although we have to consider the consequences for the long-term future (she will be in a wheelchair) it doesn't really enter our everyday lives.
I married the person, not the body shell and I think that is far more important for any relationship than body or looks.

Just my 2 cents.

(in reply to metamorfosis)

Post #: 12

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/7/2012 2:27:17 AM

metamorfosis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
I married the person, not the body shell and I think that is far more important for any relationship than body or looks.

Not as important as mind or heart, I can buy. But as irrelevant as eye color? I doubt it. It's relevant and, for the record, I may qualify as disabled by the OPs standard.

Pam

< Message edited by metamorfosis -- 11/7/2012 2:29:52 AM >

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Post #: 13

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/7/2012 5:02:19 AM

LaTigresse

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I believe you are missing the point...........to STELLA that is true. To you, and many others, it's a big fucking deal.

I didn't care the the guy I dated was a double amputee and had a massive scar on his head and face. I cared about his heart, his mind, his work ethic, and the way he could make me laugh until my face and stomach hurt.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 14

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/7/2012 5:25:42 AM

GreedyTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk

I have relationships with people because of what's in their mind and heart. Disabilities are about as important or relevant as the colour of someone's hair or eyes.

Have I been in a relationship with someone with disabilities? Yes, of course.

This, as well.

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Post #: 15

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/10/2012 1:52:42 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRedRoseToo

i have dated pwd before i became disabled. i was engaged to a disabled vet until his ptsd got in the way. since then i've found that guys who want to date me, pwd or not, think i'm desperate for attention so they'll give me a sympathy fuck and it'll be an easy piece of ass. sorry, i'd rather be alone than be a cheap thrill.

Very well said....that's the reason why I stopped to bother really dating and re-set my priorities and realised...I can achieve them well without another one of those...its tiring when they think you would be "desperate" and he would be the "generous giver"

....

thursday night I met a guy (not for dating reasons) and he also explained that he figured out that a guy is (often) wired like "at least I got the sex" whereas the girl thinks "at least I haven't had sex with him". It was cute when he said that as I didn't expect that...

Beside that I agree to Stella's post

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Post #: 16

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/10/2012 2:25:07 AM

prettypanda

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Joined: 10/3/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorfosis

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk
Disabilities are about as important or relevant as the colour of someone's hair or eyes.

No offense intended, but that's more than a little silly.

Pam

^^^ I disagree completely. I think Stella is right.

I am married to my PWD. She is actually registered disabled too.

I didn't even think about her disabilities when we met and although we have to consider the consequences for the long-term future (she will be in a wheelchair) it doesn't really enter our everyday lives.
I married the person, not the body shell and I think that is far more important for any relationship than body or looks.

Just my 2 cents.

Sorry, but it can be an important part of the relationship.
Maybe you are content with it, or even happy with it, and that's fine.
But I can imagine there are people that wanna share experiences with their partner, that might not be possible in combination with some disabilities.

Of course, if you care about someone as a person, you can overcome a lot of things.
At the same time, disabilites are called that for a reason.
Some things become impossible or hard to do, and if there are things among that list that a person might find very important in a relationship, it does matter.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 17

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/10/2012 2:40:35 AM

freedomdwarf1

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If you love the person you are with, disabilities or otherwise, everything in life is a compromise of sorts.

Did I think when courting my PWD that I won't be able to go rock climbing or long walks because she isn't able to?
No, it never entered my head for a moment.

Did I consider that I'd have to do all the driving, gardening and decorating for the rest of my life because she isn't capable of helping much?
No, I didn't. I never even thought about it.

As with any relationship, we all make compromises to make that relationship work.
And to that extent, any form of disability is just one of those things you compromise as part of your life together.

So in my eyes, the disability is no more relevant than the colour of her hair (which she changes for the heck of it! lol).

(in reply to prettypanda)

Post #: 18

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/10/2012 6:44:10 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: prettypanda

Sorry, but it can be an important part of the relationship.
Maybe you are content with it, or even happy with it, and that's fine.
But I can imagine there are people that wanna share experiences with their partner, that might not be possible in combination with some disabilities.

Of course, if you care about someone as a person, you can overcome a lot of things.
At the same time, disabilites are called that for a reason.
Some things become impossible or hard to do, and if there are things among that list that a person might find very important in a relationship, it does matter.

I understand that being able to share every activity you enjoy matters to SOME people. It isn't to me, and it isn't to many others.

I've been married for over 22 years. I've loved horses and riding since I was a child. I would have liked being married to someone that enjoys horses at least half as much as I do. But I didn't get that. He would have loved being married to someone that was as passionate about riding motorcycles as he is. He didn't get that. Neither of us is disabled. But neither of us can really share those passions with one another. So what's the difference, whether we CANNOT do what the other loves or simply do not want to?

There are other things we do enjoy doing together. We both love movies, not always the same movies (though he is getting better...

) and we both love hiking and dragging home cool rocks and artifacts.

I've never believed in looking for a mirror image of myself or 100% compatibility (seriously, if you knew the details of my marriage, it would amaze that it works...) but for ME, there are a bazillion qualities more important than a "what he/she can't do'.

Now, all of that being said........there are some physical 'things' I will not tolerate. Laziness and behaviour that disregards health. IE, no exercise, poor eating and drinking habits, drug abuse, smoking is a huge one, etc..

Basically, if you can't keep up with me on the hiking trail because you have prosthetic legs, I am going to be understanding. But, if you can't keep up with me on the hiking trail because you spend too much time sitting on your ass, smoking cigarettes, drinking Mt Dew and eating Cheetos and pizza.......I am not the bossy bitch for you. Guaranfuckinteed.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 19

RE: Disablity and Relationships - 11/10/2012 12:31:16 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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For me it would depend on when they got that disability and what disability it is. If it was present before I met them and interfered with their life to the point that they could not be active and enjoy the same things together, then it's highly unlikely I would get involved with that person. If they received the disability after we had been together, then I would not mind because by that time we have grown together as a couple and my heart is already taken by that person.

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Post #: 20

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