RE: Finances

RE: Finances (Full Version)

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newflowers -> RE: Finances (11/5/2004 9:19:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SentForu quote: I've seen in profiles, and even the message boards, where some people seem to have a lot to say about what they have (materialistically). I have seen this as well - profiles that list financial assets, world travel experience, and expensive hobbies as part of their self-description. I wonder if it is what they think is most attractive about themselves, the only thing attrative about themselves, or what they think someone else finds most attractive. I'm not sure, but it strikes me like penis pictures - ewww! I'm not saying that I cannot appreciate this these things, but it is not the osrt of information I want to know upon initial acquaintance. quote: What about those who are only middle class, comfortable, etc. Those, who work, but don't have the best of jobs. I undersand what you mean here. If BDSM attracts a variety of people, it stands to reason that these people will all have a variety of jobs with a variety of incomes. This makes sense, yet I see many profiles that read as you say. Does this lifestyle attract a disproportionate number of people who make more money? quote: In looking for a partner, does it matter if they don't have the best in the world. Does it matter, if they can't give you everything you have ever wanted? Well, I have the best job in the world (most of the time) and the money is lacking. The best job in the world is one in which one can meet the required financial obligations, have a little left over, and time to enjoy life at the end of the day. Working yourself into the ground and having no time to enjoy the fruits of your labors seems counterproductive to me. Making lots of money at a job at which you are happy/miserable/frustrated/ unfulfilled is not my idea of a good job. That said, it is necessary that any potential partner be employed and financially responsible. I am not foolish enough to say something silly like "all you need is love" but neither would I say "give me money" as I would like to think that I am in a rational place between the two extremes. I would rather work hard with someone who loves me and whom I love and smile at him and sleep with him at the end of the day than be with someone who has lots of money but is unhappy or too tired at the end of each day, or worse, so busy he has no time for me. I have not given consideration to my future dominant partner not wanting me to work - I love my job and I love working. I suppose I have thought that all income would be combined. In answer to the initial question, I do not place a great deal of emphasis on finances beyond the fact that the financial needs will continue to be met. Perhaps it is something I should think about? newflowers

serenity2u -> RE: Finances (11/5/2004 9:41:53 PM)
[8\|]Interesting article i like this I think this should be brought up more..It is part of a Dominants responsibility to care for His/Hers property. I cannot work (disabled) to a degree I cannot stand or sit long. That is what makes this a hard search for the Right one..I donot want much all I ask is to be cared and loved and taught. I am not in this way of life to go to parties,dress fancy in gowns or fancy things,or get paid for my service. Im in it because I want what i mentioned, to be wanted,needed and loved and to learn ... Money is nothing theres more to a compatibility than money..I wish I could work and now I am trying to open a online store,and being successful ,so maybe I have found a solution..But I have found after a year or two and two are togther online and they decide to go offline to be together and they have no finances it will take its toil and the relationship will break..No matter how much you love someone,or want to be with That one its the Dominants responsibiltity is to care for His/Hers . Bring the person to Them..Why waste time online and dedicate and love if there is no connection to be met. I learned even tho I still love the Dominant,I had to move on and search with a more careful heart..IMO please donot hate me for speaking my mind ,but it is my feelings only ..Good topic it needs to be brought up in chatrooms and messageboards all aropund the internet. This way You know what is ahead of your being.... be well and happy serenity[:)]

sub4hire -> RE: Finances (11/6/2004 9:10:52 AM)
I gree with the other's it is a personal preference. If you want a millionairre then yes it matters a great deal if he or she flips burgers. A lot of people want stay at home subs or slaves. As long as the bills get paid does it matter? I've been working since I was 16. So, this was actually part of my negotiation process with Doug early on. In no way ever did I ever want to end up a stay at home mom without doing anything. I know how valuable it is to find a job when you have'nt worked for 20 years. Or even 5 as far as that goes. I've seen a lot of death. So, while being a stay at home anything may sound nice. What happens if your partner passes on you? Then what? File bankruptcy while you beg and plead for a job? Anyway, that is where I stand on it.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Finances (11/6/2004 9:40:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth beth feels that her slavery IS the core of who she is, her development, and her talents; innate or other. I will have her respond in more detail directly to this issue, because hearing her speak for herself on this issue in the past, I know her convictions are stronger then I could relate speaking for her. Especially regarding any challenge to her self-esteem and value not only to me, but to herself. this slave has been a slave for a long time...spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally.....a servant of one kind or another in the vanilla world for as long as this slave can remember, which was one of the reasons the "slave" way of life felt so comfortable as soon as this slave discovered it's existance. this slave has seen God wink at her more than once with regards to this. Master has nurtured His slave's submissive nature and encourages His slave to pursue any intellectual or social pursuit that would interest or further stimulate her growth, as a slave and as a human being. the only mindless automatons around here are the puter and a few appliances. this slave chose to follow a path of slavery that has vibrated her soul and felt the most natural thing to do, but it has also required, over time, for this slave to reject society's popular stereotype of what a "successfull" woman does, full of ambition, freedom and the societal nod of approval to pursue whatever career she chooses, naked or otherwise, for material gain....the hardest part was overcoming the brainwashing (by parents, public/private education, peers, pop culture, even church!) to pursue a career and make materialistic or financial gains a measure of personal success. it is a common thread in every level of our society, save a few religious orders, that regardless of one's talents, gifts, education or skills, unless one is ambitiously making money at it(the more the better!), one is either unfortunate, physically ill, mentally ill or headed in that direction. we(our collective western society) have decided to determine a person's "worth" as how much money they have, assets or liquid--not the priceless value of their selves as human beings and the unique gifts they posess of some innate or learned skill to contribute. at times in this slave's life, this slave has earned a paycheck for her talents and skills. other times this slave volunteered her time. this slave has also bartered time and/or assets for other services or goods. this slave has lived in times of poverty and times of great excess. that was then and this is now. upon acceptance of Master's collar, this slave fully understood that it was important to Master for Him to provide for His slave in every way and He has. becoming financially dependent on Him was a sacrifice that this slave was able and willing to make. this slave respects Master's wishes and authority over her and is extremely grateful that Master appreciates her talents and skills. if this slave had any ambition to earn a paycheck, then that is what she would be doing. this slave's ambition is to please Master and although that might sound like just following orders, it is not that simplistic. among a myriad of other things, it pleases Master to have intellectual conversations, to be able to relax when He comes home, to enjoy social occasions(vanilla or non), to travel and explore, to push and expand this slave's physical and mental limits. our relationship would not have the same dynamic and this slave doubts it would even exist if this slave desired another Master(employer).

Leonidas -> RE: Finances (11/6/2004 12:33:51 PM)
quote: beth feels that her slavery IS the core of who she is, her development, and her talents; innate or other. I don't know for sure, becasue I don't know you, but I'm getting the impression that for you, "true slavery" or "her slavery" you would define as being of personal service to you as her sole focus in life. My point is that being a personal service slave is certainly an example of being a slave, but to say that is the only "true slavery" is a rather narrow and limiting definition. A slave is a human being who considers themselves to be owned by another human being. They can be anything. They can achieve anything. What distinguishes them from anyone else is that they are what they are, and achieve what they achieve at the command of, and out of their devotion to, someone else. They needn't be someone's personal valet and sex-toy to the exlusion of all else to be a "true slave". Again, slaves are property. It is up to their owners to decide how to best use their inate talents and abilities, whether that is as a personal service only slave, or as a trial lawyer.

Leonidas -> RE: Finances (11/6/2004 12:44:16 PM)
quote: At what point does the Dom/me then have responsibility for the mental health and self esteem of the "slave"?? At the point when you demand absolute obedience, and the slave accepts that they are under your discipline, not their own. A free man or woman is in control of what they do with their lives. They can choose to sit in the sofa, or make something of themselves. Not so with a slave, at least the way that I think of a slave. A slave serves at the command of their master or mistress. With that power comes the responsiblity that is implicit in the ownership of anything. Asking when you assume responsiblity for the self-esteem of a slave is like asking when you assume responsiblity for the maintainece of your car, as far as I'm concerned. If what you call a slave is someone that you get to do kinky things to and who, perhaps, "contributes" to the lifestyle to which you would like to become accustomed, but who is on their own as far as their motivation and direction in life, then I'd respectfully disagree with your definition of slavery. I'd say that what you have there is a convenient, kinky playmate.

stormiKnightBEAR -> RE: Finances (11/6/2004 4:26:09 PM)
Sir, This girl does believe that you are a rarity. As with your statement of having a seperate account. stormi does. However, stormi does believe in paying her own way. It's a matter of pride and a matter of feeling that she contributes. There is NOTHING wrong with your way.... just the way stormi believes. Comes most likely from a near 25 year failed marriage. stormi property of Master Bear

afmvdp -> RE: Finances (11/7/2004 7:39:36 AM)
I understand some have trouble with that idea most at first, they aren't used to having things taken care of, but the closer you get to the situation and understand the specifics it ends up making far more sense. Besides, like I said, we still use their money for enjoyment and entertainment.

pandoraav -> RE: Finances (11/7/2004 10:00:32 AM)
Myra, Personally i do not take money into consideration at all. Yes it is nice to live comfortably but what does that matter if your not happy? Along with going to school i work full time to support my family. Mistress and i barely get from paycheck to paycheck. But the real question is, are we happy? YES. Would i be happier with someone else who had a lot of money? Not on your life. pandora

LadySonelle -> RE: Finances (11/7/2004 11:17:50 AM)
For Me, finances are only important so long as they do not capsize the relationship. I cannot afford to take a 24/7 slave. I am, frankly, poor, in terms of monetary wealth. Society has NO use for a middle aged, disabled Woman. shrug but I am not in debt. make enough to support Myself (with Social security helping) and do not live beyond My means. I'm not looking for a "money pig" and I will NOT "ruin" a slave, such as some financial slaves seem to want a Mistress to do! That's destructive and I am a mistress, not a Destroyer. That said, were I to have slaves in a live-in setting (other than My onw beloved sub/partner) they would have to carry their own weight and help to finance My household. Chattal slavery is, after all, abourt economics! A slave is a possession and, as such, part of a Dom/me's "personal wealth". Were I to have such slaves, there would be rules, bank accounts, wills and trusts in place to make certain that, were I to die, that slave would still have his or her assets in place, their control given BACK to the slave upon My demise. Were I to find a millionaire submissive who wanted Me to move in with him/her, what the heck! I just might! More likely, if the sub could afford it, I would ask that they purchase a home FOR us to reside in, in My name but with full inheritance rights retained by the sub. I would expect the one with more money to carry the financial burden PROPORTIONATE to his ir her wealth as compared to Mine. In return, the sub or slave would recieve My full attention and Dominant care. Yes, I am seeking Financial Submissives and slaves! Currently, I make around $1000/month and am making it on that... but I have nothing saved for old age. Enron and Global crossing, took care of a lot of My portfolio, and a real estate purchase which failed to materialise its own worth took the rest. I have nothing except the comfort of not being in any debt whatsoever. Should I find a slave who can help Me build a retirement, I will be grateful and delighted, If I do not, it is immaterial, as My interest in BDSM is NOT financial in nature and never was! My three cents on the issue. Lady Sonelle

Mercnbeth -> RE: Finances (11/8/2004 12:47:28 PM)
quote: I don't know for sure, becasue I don't know you, but I'm getting the impression that for you, "true slavery" or "her slavery" you would define as being of personal service to you as her sole focus in life. You couldn't be more wrong. beth's slavery, and My Mastery are to OUR relationship. she serves OUR relationship, I am Master to OUR relationship. Part of the time and effort and dedication to defining that relationship in the form or a written contract was establishing and confirming that we BOTH wanted to serve in our respective capacity - OUR relationship. That included for her - living in my home. That included for me - responsibility for her financial needs. That included for us - her only "work" being living up to the rules of that written agreement. Sorry the concept is so foreign and elusive.

Leonidas -> RE: Finances (11/9/2004 6:49:57 AM)
quote: You couldn't be more wrong. Hmmm..... You said: quote: It is the slave's role to have one duty, full time 24/7 365 - pleasing me, the Master. As I remind beth regularly, she has but two things to concentrate on, the rules we agreed upon, and pleasing Me. ... beth is more then capable of a career. It was a sacrifice I demanded when she agreed to come into my house. And I recognize it is a sacrifice. I've often said true slavery, at least by my definition, is not for everybody. And I said: quote: I don't know for sure, becasue I don't know you, but I'm getting the impression that for you, "true slavery" or "her slavery" you would define as being of personal service to you as her sole focus in life. Maybe I couldn't be more wrong, but perhaps you can see how someone might surmise the latter from the former. As far as your definition of "true slavery" being foreign and elusive I would expect it to be. I've been around this life a long time. It's been a while since I've deluded myself into thinking I know what the fuck someone means when they say "true slavery" unless I know them well. If what you do makes you happy then it does. At the end of the day, that's all that matters. If that's the only "true slavery" as far as you're concerned, that's OK too. I hope that my attempt to point out that "true slavery" might take other forms than the one you practice didn't piss you off too much.

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