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theRose4U -> RE: BDSM Vs. seeking a purpose? (11/3/2012 8:03:51 AM)
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Couple thoughts
Through this whole thing bi-polar keeps coming to mind. I want but I don't, I need but will self distruct, its good except when its not.
I think the "I'm kinky (or drunk or using or or or) save me" is a raft you try to jump on to avoid feeling (or thinking). Drugs & alcohol numb feelings but create consequences. But if someone else is in charge life will be better"...yeah that's it their choice make my life better.
Sorry if this comes off rough but family has more than one addict hanging from the tree. Kink sounds like just another way to keep from feeling, thinking or being responsible for your own actions. You drink because of a bad day, use because you can't cope, spit in a partners face & sabotage because "they expected things" like honesty, working, sobriety... Kink makes "its all THEIR fault" you used or got a dui or got fired from your job.
While I think the leadership aspects of kink would be beneficial I think you have more work to do before those opportunities would be more than another pressure release. Personal responsibility is vital in recovery!! No one else can get you to the point where "its all their fault" turns into "damn I blew it & need to work on that". A sub that at least has some ethical basis to work from can create an actual relationship & basis for personal improvement. Finding someone to "save you from yourself" is a recipe for disaster not just for the person foolish enough to try to help you.
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