|
PeonForHer -> British Hospitals: true stories. (11/2/2012 6:51:54 AM)
|
For once, I opened an attachment sent by my dad that contained neither a picture of a naked, *very* young woman nor a rabidly right wing 'joke'. Enjoy, or not.
British Hospitals - True Stories
>
> 1. A man dashes into the A&E dept. and yells . . . “My wife's going to
> have her baby in the taxi “
>
> I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady's dress and
> began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the
> lady I noticed that there were several taxis - - - and I was in the
> wrong one.
>
> Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , St.. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow
>
>
> 2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
> and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
>
> 'Big breaths,'. I instructed.
>
> 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient..
>
> Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes , St.Thomas's Bath
>
>
> 3 One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
> her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.. Not more than
> five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the
> rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
>
> Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.
>
>
> 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that
> he was having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one ?'. . .. I
> asked.
>
> 'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and
> now I'm running out of places to put it!'
>
> I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.
> Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
>
> Now, the instructions includes removal of the old patch before
> applying a new one.
>
> Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St.. Clair , Norfolk General
>
>
> 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How
> long have you been bedridden?'
> After a look of complete confusion she answered .'Why, not for about
> twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'
>
> Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent
>
>
> 6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while
> checking up on a man I asked . . ... 'So how was your breakfast this
> morning?'
>
> 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get
> used to the taste.' Bob replied.
>
> I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled
> 'KY Jelly.'
>
> Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon . Bristol Infirmary.
>
>
> 7. A nurse was on duty in the A&E when a young woman with purple
> hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos,
> and wearing strange clothing, entered . . It was quickly determined
> that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for an
> immediate operation..
>
> When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff
> noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there
> was a tattoo that read .. . .'Keep off the grass'
>
> Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on
> the patient's dressing, which read 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'
>
> Submitted by Staff Nurse RN Elaine Fogerty , KGH London
>
> Dr. wouldn't submit his name
|
|
|
|
