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Sub New to CD play - 6/15/2006 8:44:40 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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My sub and I have been dabbling in cross dressing as of late. It all started out with me making him put on and wear a pair of pink rumba panties and a matching tank top. I thought the humilation would really getting his engine revving which it did, but it also opened up a door to a new kink he never knew he had.

He LOVES wearing women's panties, thongs, thigh hi's etc. He said that he finds them very comfortable and it turns him on so much he walks around with a woody most of the day. I personally don't have a problem with it and in fact I think he looks damn good in thigh hi's myself lol

But the other nite he was acting a bit aloof and so I asked him what was on his mind. He said he's afraid that I'm going to reject him for his desire to wear these clothes. He is afraid that I will view him as *less of a man* and toss him out of my life.

Firstly I told him I loved him and I don't hold to that saying "clothes make the man". Secondly he is the same man as before he put on the panties and my view of him and feelings have not changed. Thirdly, I'm the one who TOLD him to put on the panties so if I had an adversion to it, that wouldn't have made much sense.

We snuggled a bit and he seemed happier and more at ease about it. I'm just curious if any other Mistresses had run into this with first time CD play and if I handled it as best I could have?

Yes I'm a Dominant but I sure as heck ain't perfect or all knowing contrary to popular belief.

~Lashra

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RE: Sub New to CD play - 6/15/2006 9:38:03 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

I think his worries are absolutely justified. There are a lot of people in this world (myself included) who won’t or can’t get into cross-dressing, and probably would reject someone who "needs" it in a relationship. We see cross-dressers, TGs, TVs, and gender-benders being rejected on a daily basis in society, in the media, and even within the kink realm. So, it really comes as no surprise when someone ventures into those areas, that rejection would be a valid concern.

It sounds like you are doing exactly what he needs. You are showing him acceptance and reassuring him of his secure place with you. I would guess that he will experience this fear more than once, and will need your consistent acceptance and reassurance over and over again in the future. Slowly, and gradually, it will sink in with him that you aren’t rejecting him now, or anytime in the future, for this desire, and he will become more comfortable and confident. Eventually it will get to the point where he knows any fear of rejection is going to be consistently met with acceptance and reassurance, and his fear will become a non-issue.

It’s a very tiny bump in the road for you to make a point of consistently saying what he needs to hear. But, right now, he probably views it as a huge mountain to overcome. Every time you offer him that reassurance, acceptance, love, and tolerance, you are helping him chip away at that mountain of insecurity, and in time, you’ll have it chipped down to nothing.

Keep up the great job. He’s lucky to have you.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to Lashra)

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RE: Sub New to CD play - 6/15/2006 7:56:56 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Thanks Proprietrix, I'm always there for him should he need me and vice versa. I've been giving him extra lovings lately to let him know that all is cool with his new kink.

~Lashra

(in reply to Proprietrix)

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