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RE: Age differences - 11/7/2012 9:09:23 AM   
SchrodingerSock


Posts: 59
Joined: 11/7/2012
From: Scotland
Status: offline 		Us 40 year old slipper wearers are offended. With olde senile cretins like me you get a man, or women, or possibly raging senility could go either way.
And, well looks, us archaic monstrosities are too hideous to set eyes upon.

_____________________________

wE arE tHe voiCes, We SAtuRaTe yOur aLPHA brain WAveS, ThIs is nOt YoUR DrEAm Tis oURrs. The wiZaRd of Oz, shoES, CaLcuLUs, FrIDGE SProcKeTs, SLoBbers, Evil guffawing. We DeEManDErs Sloowee DAnCiNG, SmOOches – whisper whisper & CaAkEE.

(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Age differences - 11/7/2012 9:26:14 AM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
Status: offline 		I am answering this question from the perspective that what you want is a real relationship i.e., one that has long term potential (because, after all, if you are just looking for play partners, I think it is obvious that the age difference matters less.) I am one of those who believes smaller age gaps are, generally speaking, better for relationships (5-10 years max older or younger independent of gender).

A few other thoughts. You are only young once. And particularly as you become an older female, you are not likely to be approached by too many men significantly younger than you. So, why not enjoy the young men. And btw, if you are 22, I would not consider a 25 year old to be "older" the way we would normally think. At your age, I think anyone older than 27 might be older than what you really want for now. Just speculating.

With all that said, age is still just a number. If you have a ton in common with the 38 year old, and nothing in common with the others, that is also a consideration.

Another word of advice. Don't confuse the material comforts that a 38 year old can offer with compatibility. At your age, a young man who is ambitious will be that 38 year old in 10 or so years time. Again, try to focus on the compatibility necessary to make a relationship work. You are at an age in life when women have a lot of choice. It is a sad reality that for many (not all) women the choices shrink such that by even age 40-45, you will typically not be looking at the same range.

So by all means, expand your age limit if you want. But understand your best success for a long term relationship is likely with someone within 5-10 years of your age who is highly compatible with you. Don't lose sight of the bigger picture.

p.s. If what you want is just to explore, with no real relationship, these types of arrangements are possible. I've certainly been in them. But you need to be really careful with how you proceed if what you seek is a play partner situation. Those are not actually meant to be entered into lightly, and should not be confused with casual sex which is something else entirely.


_____________________________

~ ftp

(in reply to jo3y)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Age differences - 11/8/2012 3:01:18 AM   
thexxxxmaster


Posts: 102
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thexxxxmaster


quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

As pretty much everyone has said so far... it really is up to you.

A large age gap does carry some issues (which don't need to be show-stoppers by any means), but - for example, if you found yourself in a long-term committed relationship with someone in his 50's, then decided that you wanted to have kids while in your 30's, he might be in his 60's. By the time those kids graduated high school he might be knocking on 80...

Personally, I tend to filter out anyone below 28, on the grounds that we're likely to have very little in common. That said, I've been very pleasantly surprised on occasion too.

Lol the upshot is if you don't want kids, enjoy men both in & out of the bedroom & have more of an intellectual bent...the age gap you realize isn't such a big deal!

Though 50 at your age is some man dreamin with his boxers...50 for a 22yr old? Seriously?



I have a sock on the other side who is 18 and a 58-yr old couple approached her. I sent them this:








You really should put a sock in it!

What right does anyone have to criticise other people's legal personal preferences in terms of age. When I was young I never saw anyone in terms of age, still the same, their words and actions determined how I interacted with them. I bedded women from almost all age groups and I still do. That was/is MY choice and I find anyone who belittles others for having a preference for one thing or another in a relationship, particularly colour, race, sexuality and age, lacking in maturity and basic humanity.

Our best friends got together when she was 18 and he late 48, just had their sixth wedding anniversary. One of the happiest and most relaxed couple we have ever met, a bit like us.

Ok, if you as a fake 18 year (secret desire, wants to play with golden oldies) or whatever you actually are, do not fancy a 58 year old there are others who do. You and people of the same ilk would do the world a favour if you came to realise that your favourite dish is not the only one on the table of life.

Having got all that off my mind, mayhaps you are both feeling your age, and you have to admit that it is somewhat surprising that a 35 year old states she will have nothing to do with a 40 year old, guess that must mean nothing under 30 either. LOL



quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

I have no issues with my age,


Who said or even implied that you did? The OP is about scenes with people of a different generation and age, not your age.

quote:

My fiance/Master is 9 yrs older than I am. Personally the only time I care where a guy dips his wick is when he is dipping it with me, so who you bed is irrelevant as far as I'm concerned.


There you go, total agreement.

quote:

This being said, the sock account was an experiment, is completely blank with no picture or text (and the username means "You are an Idiot" in a foreign language), and had it been real that couple could have been her grandparents. The chance of them having ANYTHING other than kink in common is extremely slim, and the chance of a kink only relationship lasting is extremely rare. Your friends are the exception.


That's what one would call a double blind experiment. Someone your age laughing at people who don't understand a foreign language word. Seems like something a four year would get off on.

You would be surprised how much age groups have in common, life is not just about sex, drugs and rock n' roll. A vast majority of children have a better relationship with their grandparents than with their parents. Strange as it might seem to you they relate to each other better, teenagers talk about subjects with their grandparents which they would not discuss with their parents.

My friends are not an exception, they are different a bit like you. I also said nothing about kink in my friends relationship, my comments were about your actions and words and how immature your response was, with reasons. I would posit that there are millions more people in large age difference relationships than there are in 24/7 BDSM relationship.

Your sock a true troll...OP is also talking about 25 and 38 year olds and you up the ante to 58.

quote:

If you don't feel self-righteous enough, feel free to continue chastising me. Perhaps someday I'll give a shit about your opinion of me


Your response to the 58 year couple is way beyond any self-righteous comment I might have made. Hence it was shat upon.



(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Age differences - 11/8/2012 3:07:43 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline 		Age is a number.
Remember to be cautious.

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to thexxxxmaster)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Age differences - 11/8/2012 3:10:54 AM   
thexxxxmaster


Posts: 102
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

LMAO xxx that's special just for you!!! Profile is old, age limit old but in current situation useful since I don't have time for troll mail!! So please do go with baseless assumptions & remove me from your hunting list, no skin off my ass.


LOL Excuses, excuses, excuses. "Baseless assumptions" based on known knowledge not the secret desires of misrepresentation, interesting conclusion you have there. You should be skinned alive for being so duplicitous. :-)

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Age differences - 11/8/2012 3:39:33 AM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jo3y

Hi!

I'm 22 years old and new to this life style. I have been getting attention of older gentleman (25-38). If I was looking for just a boyfriend I date other 22 y.o. Should I do the same now? What are some advantages of expanding my horizons? Disadvantages?

<3 Joey

It depends what you are looking for. If you are looking for a romance with kink then you could stick to whatever age range you normally feel comfortable dating.

Are you just looking for a Play partner, or perhaps to experience D/s but not necessarily include sex? If so, toss the age factor out the window. I know from personal experience (one of My Collared subs was 22 when I met him at age 44) that a relationship with age differences can be extremely rewarding for both Dominant & subby, especially if the sub is seeking a "parent-type" Dominant, or perhaps one with more years of experience.
There are many, many ways you can experience BDSM and D/s. There are no fixed rules defining it.

(in reply to jo3y)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Age differences - 11/8/2012 8:14:04 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

Who said or even implied that you did? The OP is about scenes with people of a different generation and age, not your age.



Since I wasn't responding to the OP, that's rather irrelevant, don't you think?

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to thexxxxmaster)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Age differences - 11/8/2012 8:57:25 AM   
BlackBikeDom


Posts: 21
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline 		Tough one, I've been in vanilla and m/s relationships where my partner was way younger and it mostly depends on both of you and your social circles.

My advice is if you feel much more comfortable with relationships your age , then stick to that.
Don't get me wrong , it can work perfectly, but it really is an individual thing and if you're not used to it or it's not something you fantasize about.... well, just leave us ODBs alone.

_____________________________

The only way to a woman's heart is torment. MdS
Don't dig my style?...Leave it alone. TW

(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Age differences - 11/8/2012 7:23:19 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me personally, age is not just a number. It's much much more. I am not attracted to men much more younger than me or much older than me. I'm only attracted to men my own age. I also find that with men my own age, we have more in common, shared experiences, growing up in the same generations at the same age so we "speak the same language".

Now there may be those who are attracted to those younger or older and more power to them but personally, I can't do that.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to BlackBikeDom)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Age differences - 11/8/2012 7:50:47 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Interesting. Do you have a source? I'm curious to know more about that--especially the operative definition of "failure." Virtually all relationships "fail" by some definition.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Statistically, relationships with more than a 10 year age gap have a higher rate of failure.


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Age differences - 11/8/2012 7:57:03 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Interesting. Do you have a source? I'm curious to know more about that--especially the operative definition of "failure." Virtually all relationships "fail" by some definition.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Statistically, relationships with more than a 10 year age gap have a higher rate of failure.




It was taught to me in college. I have a degree in psychology which was focused on relationship counseling.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Age differences - 11/8/2012 10:33:41 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		There still has to be a source somewhere even if you have a degree in psychology.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Interesting. Do you have a source? I'm curious to know more about that--especially the operative definition of "failure." Virtually all relationships "fail" by some definition.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Statistically, relationships with more than a 10 year age gap have a higher rate of failure.




It was taught to me in college. I have a degree in psychology which was focused on relationship counseling.


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Age differences - 11/9/2012 4:24:21 AM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Statistically, relationships with more than a 10 year age gap have a higher rate of failure.

There are always exceptions. One excellent indicator of assured success is if the male partner is named Kirata.

There may be other indicators too, of course.

K.



< Message edited by Kirata -- 11/9/2012 4:25:38 AM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Age differences - 11/9/2012 11:05:28 AM   
thexxxxmaster


Posts: 102
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Interesting. Do you have a source? I'm curious to know more about that--especially the operative definition of "failure." Virtually all relationships "fail" by some definition.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Statistically, relationships with more than a 10 year age gap have a higher rate of failure.





quote:

A study released in 2003 by the United Kingdom's Office for National Statistics concluded that the proportion of women in England and Wales marrying younger men rose from 15% to 26% between 1963 and 1998. The study also showed a higher divorce rate as the age difference rose when the woman was older and a lower divorce rate as the age difference rose when the man was older.


quote:

Making an age gap relationship work is like any other successful relationship — it depends on strong communication skills, dedication, honesty and a lot of effort. But as anyone who loves someone regardless of an age difference will tell you, love is not only blind, it can't count very well either.




(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Age differences - 11/9/2012 4:21:12 PM   
xLaChienne


Posts: 259
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jo3y

Hi!

I'm 22 years old and new to this life style. I have been getting attention of older gentleman (25-38). If I was looking for just a boyfriend I date other 22 y.o. Should I do the same now? What are some advantages of expanding my horizons? Disadvantages?

<3 Joey



Do you find older men attractive? Does the thought of being with someone closer to your fathers age than your own turn you on?

On line I have strict age filters. In person, I engage depending on interest. For the most part I enjoy those closer to My age than farther and it's very rare that those outside of My ideal range will interest Me for long, even in person. I certainly enjoy looking at a buff, young man but rarely come across one that I can have a conversation with that will comprehend My life, where I'm coming from, and the challenges I face. There are many who hold with the idea that older equals more experience, wisdom, etc. but I've found that there are as many clueless 50 years olds as 18 year olds. So it's a crap shoot and age is definitely not an automatic qualifier for a better experience.

Go with what feels right for you and with those that you find interesting and compelling. If older men don't do it for you the set your mail filter to a maximum age so you can concentrate on those within the range that you do find comfortable.

(in reply to jo3y)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Age differences - 11/9/2012 5:37:35 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		So...if the divorce rate is lower when the man is older, that doesn't exactly bear out the blanket claim that relationships with substantial age differences are more likely to fail.

For that matter, I'm not on board with the idea that divorce rates are a great measure of the success or failure of relationships.  Way too simplistic.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thexxxxmaster

quote:

A study released in 2003 by the United Kingdom's Office for National Statistics concluded that the proportion of women in England and Wales marrying younger men rose from 15% to 26% between 1963 and 1998. The study also showed a higher divorce rate as the age difference rose when the woman was older and a lower divorce rate as the age difference rose when the man was older.


(in reply to thexxxxmaster)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Age differences - 11/10/2012 2:17:04 PM   
SeekingLTR40


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/9/2012
Status: offline 		You have to stay within the age range you're comfortable with. I've been in relationships with women ranging from fifteen years younger to thirty-two years older than myself. I tend to share a lot more in common with older women, but that is not in every case. Who I've been involved with has always been on an individual basis.

I'll say this much, just for advice to anyone who is considering a relationship with a person outside their typical "age-range" ~ if they talk up or down to you; you're not compatible. I'm not talking about in a D/s or D/d sense - I'm talking about while having normal conversations. If they can only see you as a younger or older person, and only relate to you with a sense of their opinions being either more or less important than your opinions due to your age..... don't get involved with them. Their opinions are no more or less valuable than yours.

That's why they're opinions.

If you notice that the way they interact with others closer to their age, is different than the way they interact with you, then they're discrimanatory. If they're older, they'll see you as being stupid, naive or unwise; if you're older, they'll place you upon a pedestal; and neither is a good foundation for any form of relationship.

Even in M/s, D/s and Daddy/daughter relationships, there is still an equality that must exist. You are both consenting adults. If they cannot maintain an adult/adult level of communication, then they are not going to take your needs, wants and desires very seriously. Even in unequality, equality exists. Too many people have trouble understanding that.

No woman I have ever had a relationship with has ever talked down to me. No woman I have ever had a relationship has ever taken exception with my own insights or perspectives. And I have never taken any exceptions with the insights or perspectives of the women I have been involved with. When it has come to communication, we have always been on equal footing ~ regardless of age.

If I have begun a relationship with someone, it was because we shared similar perspectives and views upon life and relationships. Regardless of age. And that's what I am getting at.

(in reply to jo3y)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Age differences - 11/11/2012 4:51:43 AM   
Salinedion


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline 		My wife is 11 years younger than me. We're really good together. And I lived in Asia, where the older white guy/hot young thang is very common.

But when I see a 20+ year age gap (older man for this example), I sort of wonder what's wrong with the both of them.

Why does she want to suck that craggy old dick? What the hell are they talking about post dick-sucking? What's he overlooking and gerrymandering to keep the youthful dick-sucking tap turned on?

So many questions, so few believable answers, on average.



_____________________________

I hate the 'reply to' note at the end of the post. Just assume I'm posting to the board at large and not the person above me unless I say diff, OK?

(in reply to SeekingLTR40)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Age differences - 11/11/2012 6:16:21 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingLTR40

You have to stay within the age range you're comfortable with. I've been in relationships with women ranging from fifteen years younger to thirty-two years older than myself. I tend to share a lot more in common with older women, but that is not in every case. Who I've been involved with has always been on an individual basis.

I'll say this much, just for advice to anyone who is considering a relationship with a person outside their typical "age-range" ~ if they talk up or down to you; you're not compatible. I'm not talking about in a D/s or D/d sense - I'm talking about while having normal conversations. If they can only see you as a younger or older person, and only relate to you with a sense of their opinions being either more or less important than your opinions due to your age..... don't get involved with them. Their opinions are no more or less valuable than yours.

That's why they're opinions.

If you notice that the way they interact with others closer to their age, is different than the way they interact with you, then they're discrimanatory. If they're older, they'll see you as being stupid, naive or unwise; if you're older, they'll place you upon a pedestal; and neither is a good foundation for any form of relationship.

Even in M/s, D/s and Daddy/daughter relationships, there is still an equality that must exist. You are both consenting adults. If they cannot maintain an adult/adult level of communication, then they are not going to take your needs, wants and desires very seriously. Even in unequality, equality exists. Too many people have trouble understanding that.

No woman I have ever had a relationship with has ever talked down to me. No woman I have ever had a relationship has ever taken exception with my own insights or perspectives. And I have never taken any exceptions with the insights or perspectives of the women I have been involved with. When it has come to communication, we have always been on equal footing ~ regardless of age.

If I have begun a relationship with someone, it was because we shared similar perspectives and views upon life and relationships. Regardless of age. And that's what I am getting at.


I think this is a brilliant post :)

Welcome to the forums :)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to SeekingLTR40)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Age differences - 11/11/2012 6:51:53 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thexxxxmaster


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

LMAO xxx that's special just for you!!! Profile is old, age limit old but in current situation useful since I don't have time for troll mail!! So please do go with baseless assumptions & remove me from your hunting list, no skin off my ass.


LOL Excuses, excuses, excuses. "Baseless assumptions" based on known knowledge not the secret desires of misrepresentation, interesting conclusion you have there. You should be skinned alive for being so duplicitous. :-)

Yes how dare I not make myself prey, or hunter when I have neither the time or inclination for either

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to thexxxxmaster)
Profile   Post #: 40
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