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The Underdog - 11/4/2012 4:29:43 AM

Mourneris

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/3/2012
Status: offline

It always seems to be the case, that young people, such as myself, never seem to be accepted by the older crowd of the BDSM world. The arguments seem to always be that at such a young age, we are not old enough to have explored the concept in its depth or know whether we are truly dominant or submissive. I believe these statements to be ignorant.

I might be 18, but I know for sure, 100%, that I am dominant. I know what I like, I know what I enjoy doing, I am willing to accept that I've only been dabbling in BDSM for 3 years and that my more deep experiences have been online in the form of text RP and cybering. To deny me my title as dominant because of these self-evident truths is pitiful; in my opinion it seems that those who deny it to me are unsure of themselves or feel that someone who has only been dabbling for 3 years doesn't deserve a title that someone who has been doing it for 15 has. I can understand where these people are coming from, and they are entitled to their opinions, but young dominants/dommes and visa-verse have the right to the title just as much in them for the title is the same but the different is the level of experience.

I love to play mind-games, making my sub feel as if she needs me and can't live without me. I love to pleasure my sub, making her feel that the table are turned but yet she is a sub and must act accordingly. I love to share intellectual conversations with my sub. These are my 3 most important "loves" in a relationship with my sub. As well as the fact that I will always prefer a sub that wishes to also be my girlfriend over a sub that doesn't.

As a side-note, if any female sub is looking for an online dom, feel free to message me. Also, if you want to bash me for my youth and lack of experience in comparison to older doms/subs, then please feel free to do so; I know how important it is for some people to flaunt themselves to compensate for their lack of civility.

Post #: 1

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 4:52:38 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Hi, Anthony. Welcome to the forums.

With all due respect, nobody's attacked you. No need to be defensive.

The good news for you is that Florida has tons of kinksters and kink events. The bad news is that some may be 21 and over only.

I'd suggest you look into TNG events, which are for ages 18 to 35.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 2

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 4:56:38 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Welcome to the discussion side of CM, underdog.

BTW: Whiny behavior and cyber domination have little to do with 'actual' domination, and attempting to convince us how dom you are screams that you are no such thing.

But, you know, carry on with your baaaaaad self.

_____________________________

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 3

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 4:57:38 AM

punisher440

Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline

First off,welcome to the forums and I'll try to be gentle since this is in intros....but I have paddles that are almost twice your age and you want to discredit the older folks that have lived in the real world,not just cyber and online RP? I'll let you in on a little secret,RP and cybering does not equal real life experience.You can call yourself any title you choose but until a real live sub/slave that is with you sees you as her dominant and calls you that title instead of pixels on a screen calling you by the title,you are living in a fantasy.You can either come into the forums seeking knowledge from us old folks and learn from our mistakes and wisdom we have gained from living in the real world or you can come in here with a chip on your shoulder trying to tell us you are right because you've cybered a few times and we know nothing.Just remember,in here as in real life,if you come into a crowded room looking for a fight you will find one.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 4

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 5:11:31 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Uh, punisher, you're playing right into what he expected. Ten to one this thread explodes right now...

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to punisher440)

Post #: 5

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 5:12:49 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Welcome to the boards.

Around here, you will find that people will take you very seriously if you conduct yourself appropriately. By that I mean, ask sensible questions, don't get defensive, don't call names or pout or look for wank material. Share your thoughts and opinions, be aware that people will disagree with you and that doesn't make it a personal attack. In general I've seen people of all ages behave properly on these boards and be welcomed regardless of experience level. I've also seen people of all ages stamp their feet, make personal attacks, claim to know everything and so on... those people don't tend to stick around long because people don't put up with that.

I'm sure you'll fit in just fine. Personally I believe everyone has something useful to contribute to the boards whether 18 or 80, three days or thirty years of experience, because we all have different perspectives.

Speaking from the grand old age of 25 - I've been in my live-in D/s relationship since I was 19. No one ever spoke down to me or told me it didn't count because of my age. I knew what I wanted, I was willing to work for it, and I was relatively realistic. Even despite that, I could fill an ocean with what I have learned since then. I look back and cringe at some of the things I said and did. I am sure at 40 I'll look back on me at 25 and feel the same way.

I know it feels frustrating when people imply that your age works against you because after all, you're the oldest and wisest you've ever been. But the reason for this is because they have been there, felt how you feel now, and then continued to change and mature. They've made a whole heap of mistakes and benefited from it. Being 18 is both a blessing and a curse. You will change more in the next four years than in the rest of your adult life. You have so many possibilities and you really can go out and become whoever you want to be. But no matter how you look at it, you don't have much experience yet. The good news is, you can only get older and more experienced. Things can only get better.

As for titles, whatever you want to call yourself works for me. If you say you're dominant, that's fine. I believe you. And you might be the most awesome 18 year old dominant out there. But if you're serious that the D/s lifestyle is for you and you get to learning everything you can, I promise you will be more than twice the dominant in five years time. That's not in any way an insult.

So welcome, try not to start out defensive. There's no shame in having less experience in some areas so there's no need to defend your position right out of the gate. We actually want people to come in and learn and share their thoughts with us - that's the point of the message boards.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 6

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 5:32:53 AM

punisher440

Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline

Sorry DS,but when you throw a lit short fused stick of dynamite into the forums like the OP did with his post you can expect an explosion.I spoke my mind and do not think I was out of line.The OP came in swinging and I've never been big on the turning the other cheek thing.You have your opinion and I have mine...I'm not saying your's is wrong and mine is right,but I stated my thoughts and stand by them.I do not expect a newbie to come in on their hands and knees begging us to take pity on them but on the other hand I do not except a newbie coming in bad mouthing us either.I welcomed the OP and tried to give him a little tough but friendly advice.Again OP,welcome to the forums and I do hope you can learn from the vast knowledge that can be shared with you in the forums if you come in with the right attitude.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 7

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 5:41:18 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

You know what's the best thing about being a young dom?
Hot young subbies

....well that, and the world doesn't see you as a creepy old pervert.
Welcome.
Worry less about your age than who you are, as a person, as a man, as a dominant.
Dominant is as dominant does....or some shit like that

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to punisher440)

Post #: 8

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 6:06:06 AM

leonine

Posts: 409
Joined: 11/3/2009
From: [email protected]
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: punisher440

You can call yourself any title you choose but until a real live sub/slave that is with you sees you as her dominant and calls you that title instead of pixels on a screen calling you by the title,you are living in a fantasy.

To be fair, I'd say that "dominant" is a sexual orientation, not a title; this smacks a little of the quarrels on LGBT fora over who's entitled to call himself "gay".

Now if you were speaking of "Master," yes, I would be the first to agree that nobody is entitled to call themself that until someone else does, and a RL 3D someone at that, not a cyber-slavegirl who is probably really another teenage male.

_____________________________

Leo9

Gonna pack in my hand, pick up on a piece of land and build myself a cabin in the woods.
It's there I'm gonna stay, until there comes a day when this old world starts a-changing for the good.
- James Taylor

(in reply to punisher440)

Post #: 9

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 6:20:35 AM

leonine

Posts: 409
Joined: 11/3/2009
From: [email protected]
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mourneris

It always seems to be the case, that young people, such as myself, never seem to be accepted by the older crowd of the BDSM world.

Anywhere you go, any group or community, one of the great universals is that the old hands expect newbies to listen and learn and respect their experience, and the smart young arrivals expect everyone to welcome their new enlightened outlook. And when the smart young arrivals have been there a few years, they'll be complaining that these noobs have no idea and won't hear advice. Such is human nature.

No reasonable person would question that you know your orientation already: personally, I was aware of mine before I was 15. All anyone would suggest is that there's more to being an experienced Dom than knowing how you feel.

Be glad this isn't a home of the Old Guard rules that expected everyone to start out as a bottom and work their way up.

_____________________________

Leo9

Gonna pack in my hand, pick up on a piece of land and build myself a cabin in the woods.
It's there I'm gonna stay, until there comes a day when this old world starts a-changing for the good.
- James Taylor

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 10

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 7:34:49 AM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

Theres no point in saying anything to you but WELCOME - cause youre just a lil kid.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 11

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 7:58:09 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Welcome Mourneris, hope things work out for you.

Sorry that you seem to feel so defensive about yourself, it's really not the best way to make friends or acquaintances. Perhaps you could put aside your negative experiences and go for the positive here? The upside being that in being upbeat and positive you might not immediately turn off a potential partner who sees your thread. Accept the fact that yes, you know what your orientation is, but you really have no experience from "dabbling" in it online mostly as an underage minor. You can read a lot of books about mountain climbing, but i'm betting actually climbing one is different. Let's just call a spade a spade here, you really have no experience. That's ok, we all started somewhere.

One additional detail, if you want to be taken for your maturity instead of your age, then I might consider not have Guitar Hero boxers in your picture.

You have lot going for you- lots of ambition and hard work being that you're a college student. Someone will appreciate that. Keep at it and accentuate the positive

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 12

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 8:30:40 AM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
Status: offline

FR

welcome to the forums :)

you certainly can call yourself whatever you like, but i think a munch or other kink-related event outside of the internet would be good. i played yahoo pool for years, but that didn't qualify me as an expert in real-time pool...the same goes for bdsm. real life is much more fun that bossing some cyber-sub around, believe me.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 11/4/2012 8:35:06 AM >

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 13

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 8:57:32 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

As for titles, whatever you want to call yourself works for me. If you say you're dominant, that's fine. I believe you.

I'm going to disagree. You can call yourself whatever you want....and I don't have to believe you, but what I think shouldn't matter. No matter who tells me they're a Dominant, I take it with a grain of salt until their actions have proven to me that they actually are. As long as the person you're with thinks you're a Dominant, why does it matter what anyone else thinks?

Anyway, welcome to the forums.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 14

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 12:07:48 PM

DomMeinCT

Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Premature defensiveness as written in those first 2 paragraphs as well the thread title don't seem to indicate maturity and a high threshold for dealing with others, but you have the opportunity of more and future posts to demonstrate that better.

Welcome to CM and I do wish you the best here.

< Message edited by DomMeinCT -- 11/4/2012 12:08:44 PM >

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 15

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 12:54:00 PM

BurntKitty

Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

Welcome to CM.

Here's an event listed on FetLife for 35 & under scheduled for 11/7 put on by Miami TNG.

quote:

Election Night Hangover
“ A.K.A Arcade Night, Take Two”
Wednesday, November 07, 2012 · 8:00 PM –11:00 PM
Location:
Dave and Busters, Dolphin Mall
11401 Northwest 12th Street
Cost: Varies. It's a weeknight, there are drink/game specials. :)
Dress code: Vanilla. If you have a zombie killing shirt, awesome.
Description:
It doesn't matter if you're coming to continue the celebration or in need of consolation, Miami TNG is here for you.

At Dave and Busters.

With optional alcohol.

And zombies to kill.

Bring your power cards, your trivia knowledge and be ready to have a little fun. :D

Loads of activities in Miami & the surrounding area. One caveat: Leave the whining at home.

_____________________________

Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 16

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 1:10:29 PM

QueenRah

Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

Ahh, the brittle pride of youth. I miss it.

When I was 14, I knew everything there was to know.
When I was 18, I knew every-f*ing thing there was to know.
When I was 22, I knew more than every-f*ing thing there was to know.
And so on...

Now that I am *ahem* f)($*tysomething, I realize, because of the human condition, I never knew a f*cking thing, and, I never truly will know anything, until I throw off this mortal coil...and, even then, I may not know a damned thing.

That, my dear young man, is the wisdom of age. I'm sure some old codger, who thinks he or she is so darned smart that they can trump me, will come along and correct me. *shakes fist* Nerts, to you, thou old thing!

M, welcome to the boards.

QR

_____________________________

Life's too short to drink cheap booze!

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 17

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 2:28:08 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

So now that your a dominant texter, RPer
and cyberer you only need to step into real
life and get a girlfriend so you can actually
start learning stuff... good luck.

-Aries

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to QueenRah)

Post #: 18

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 4:32:56 PM

Mourneris

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/3/2012
Status: offline

First of all, "I know only that I know nothing." -Socrates. Now, that means I admit that in comparison to the older, more mature, greats of this world, I am nothing. I have dabbled in real life with several of my ex-girlfriends, in the effort to bring the imaginary of the online to the reality of the world. Also, Guitar Hero pajama pants just make me a gamer, which I am. Being a gamer does not make me any less of anything. To those who went against me, good for you, for those who defended me, I appreciate you understanding my point of view.

Now to clarify, my defensiveness is as follows "Hi there, let me set things straight before I introduce myself, having already encountered MANY idiots here on CM." So if those that took against me, didn't understand this, I can't blame you because one of the elements of communication is the margin of misunderstanding, thus it's fine really. Those that question my experience, you are correct, I am nothing compared to you, but that's okay because I accept my age and my level of experience.

It is of my hope, that everyone can understand the reasoning behind the way I decided to approach my introduction here on the CM Message Boards, and that I could get to know you all, for I consider it a great thing to learn from the more experienced. So to those who want to put me down, how about flaunting your experience and sharing it instead? To those that are on my side, thank you and you should do the same. I'm here not only to continue on with my life in BDSM, but also to learn from the more experienced, so it would be much appreciated for anyone who is willing to share knowledge with me to do so.

Thank you to all whom took the time to visit this thread and reply, whether it be positive or negative, all criticism and support helps. I appreciate everyone's opinions.

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 19

RE: The Underdog - 11/4/2012 4:43:53 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mourneris

Now to clarify, my defensiveness is as follows "Hi there, let me set things straight before I introduce myself, having already encountered MANY idiots here on CM."

While I understand the defensiveness, you also need to realize that the tone of the forums is much different than the other side of CM.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Mourneris)

Post #: 20

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