quote:

ORIGINAL: alostpet

If any of You would examine male profiles...mine specifically of course...why would there be a dearth of interests in seriously committed submissive males? Is there a fear, or general dislike, of whole-person honesty in profiles? When encountered, is there an immediate suspicion that it's "fake"? Curious....

I read your profile, alostpet, including most of page two of your journal entries. I will try to go through your questions one by one.

A dearth of interest in seriously committed submissive males...yeah, I heard that men's mailboxes will grow cobwebs sometimes. In the past when I was looking for a submissive I didn't go cruising male profiles, I waited until after I got a letter from them and then I read their profile, journal entries, and a page or two of any posts they made in the message boards. I also looked at their friends' list to see who they had contact with...it can say a lot about someone. Except for friends writing me...my own mailbox is usually empty and cobwebby. (Unless it's some guy offering me $300 to put out cigs on his sac. I am so not kidding.)

There are a lot more males here than females. Also, not all of us are poly; one male submissive is enough, and once we have found him we are just here to read the message boards and to keep contact with friends.

"Is there a fear, or general dislike, of whole-person honesty in profiles?"
In your profile you mention having PTSD from your old job as a paramedic. I feel for ya. When we lived in California years ago my father was a paramedic. At that time, people were putting razor blades into Halloween apples...need I say more? (I think that's when his drinking started getting worse.) My boy and I both have PTSD, part of his is from being in a mining slate fall that broke his skull and spine (but not the spinal cord, thank God), and mine are from early childhood abuse and from other traumas.

Survivors can make others uncomfortable when we share too much information, and some will avoid survivors if they believe we have not been into counseling or put on meds. With some people, too much baggage is just...their hard limit.

"When encountered, is there an immediate suspicion that it's "fake"?"
The only way I can define fake is...someone being deliberately dishonest, making a profile just to toy with people. I have seen very few fakes here...but I've seen many people who were new and overdosed on BDSM porn, BDSM fantasy stories, and who were so grateful to have "arrived", enter into the secret club so to speak, that they forget their manners. Most of us women have had our mailboxes full of letters from guys who are trying to take a free hump on our leg, so yes, some of us are wary of opening letters. I try not to expect that every male who contacts me will treat me like I am some free hooker...but I must confess that there are far too many who do. I don't find it flattering and it's always a turn off.

Bottom line...almost every submissive male has to pay for the bad behavior of others who sent mail before him. We are wary and get burnt out because of THEM, while searching for the few guys who seem to be compatible.

How are the BDSM munch groups in your area?

Those two Dommes were right, btw. It made me sad to read some of your journal entries.

quote:

ORIGINAL: alostpet

If any of You would examine male profiles...mine specifically of course...why would there be a dearth of interests in seriously committed submissive males? Is there a fear, or general dislike, of whole-person honesty in profiles? When encountered, is there an immediate suspicion that it's "fake"? Curious....