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RE: i'm curious - 11/6/2012 7:37:21 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

My boundaries are there for good reasons. If you announce that all you're interested in is breaking them, then you're telling me that I wouldn't be safe with you.

So despite the fact that I'm not bisexual, you're going to demand that I have sex with another woman? After not telling me in the beginning about these plans? That says to me you're a liar and not worth respecting.

First and foremost this is a relationship. If I'm not with someone compatible, then it won't work. Despite the fact that I'm submissive, I'm not required to be miserable all the time.

If someone tells you what they need, and your needs don't match theirs, then just pass them by. Don't deliberately hurt them by doing things you already know they will be harmed by.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 21

RE: i'm curious - 11/6/2012 8:41:04 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domfurrejon

why do subs seem to start by ordering what they will demand of a dom if im going to take the effort to make someone my sub im going to push them beyond there normal boundrys

There's this nasty little thing called compatibility. Google it.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to domfurrejon)

Post #: 22

RE: i'm curious - 11/7/2012 7:06:54 PM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

OP-

Its difficult to find no-limit slaves.

At least, here in the the Western Hemisphere.

Apparently Ghana produces quite a few. Restrict your search to Ghana, or perhaps Nigeria, and you may have much better results.

Good luck.

(in reply to domfurrejon)

Post #: 23

RE: i'm curious - 11/7/2012 8:16:30 PM

alhamdullilah

Posts: 81
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

OP-

Its difficult to find no-limit slaves.

At least, here in the the Western Hemisphere.

Apparently Ghana produces quite a few. Restrict your search to Ghana, or perhaps Nigeria, and you may have much better results.

Good luck.

Ugh... Suddenly i feel like chopped liver!! There have to be TONS of me's out there... here, even... in the US!!
* ominous small voice says.... "we're heeeeeerrrrrre" *

_____________________________

At any given time, it would seem that what's on my mind is heavier on one side than on the other, entirely explaining my mental imbalance.

(in reply to AnimusRex)

Post #: 24

RE: i'm curious - 11/8/2012 2:24:38 PM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

Personally, I don't comsider the early stages to be Dom to sub it is two people trying to determine if they are a match, what they have in common, if they can accommodate each other's kinks and schedule.. I know what I need, want and require to submit to a Dom. It is not fair to you if I mislead you & change things once we're involved. It is kind of like making up a game with two players. You establish the rules, hash out possible issues, make sure you are on the same page THEN you hit the start button.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 25

RE: i'm curious - 11/10/2012 7:09:58 AM

LonDom61

Posts: 196
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I was going to reply to the OP but it is becoming too exhausting to answer deluded men.

I hear dat, red.

Where does -helping people who are new & want to learn- end and
-showing jerks how to masquerade as good guys- begin?

And, in my brief spell back here on the boards, already I have to wonder how often do they listen, anyway?

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 26

RE: i'm curious - 11/10/2012 10:27:15 PM

dublinemma

Posts: 57
Joined: 9/10/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domfurrejon

why do subs seem to start by ordering what they will demand of a dom if im going to take the effort to make someone my sub im going to push them beyond there normal boundrys

Do they ever demand somewhat decent punctuation and spelling?

(in reply to domfurrejon)

Post #: 27

RE: i'm curious - 11/11/2012 8:48:25 AM

Toysinbabeland

Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline

quote:

Mnotterrail

I am now thinking after poise's comments, and Osidegirl'sagreement that I will be wearing a supermarket apron, to enhance my stature and also to compromise (or be seen to, at any rate)

switches to my indian name:
Watches with glee

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 28

RE: i'm curious - 11/11/2012 11:10:44 AM

littleone14

Posts: 185
Joined: 7/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinemma

quote:

ORIGINAL: domfurrejon

why do subs seem to start by ordering what they will demand of a dom if im going to take the effort to make someone my sub im going to push them beyond there normal boundrys

Do they ever demand somewhat decent punctuation and spelling?

Not to mention grammar......

(in reply to dublinemma)

Post #: 29

RE: i'm curious - 11/11/2012 4:10:05 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: domfurrejon

why do subs seem to start by ordering what they will demand of a dom if im going to take the effort to make someone my sub im going to push them beyond there normal boundrys

Strange. I don't seem to have this problem at all. In fact, even in nilla life, I rarely, as in almost never, have people TELL me what to do, make demands of/on me.
They ask, they make requests, we discuss shit in civilized ways.
Might just be who and what I am, something to do with being assertive.
Seems to me that gals demand things from people who lack certainty, who don't draw that submission from them.
And that has zero to do with what you say, but everything about who says it...and how they go about saying it

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littleone14)

Post #: 30

RE: i'm curious - 11/11/2012 6:10:11 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LonDom61

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I was going to reply to the OP but it is becoming too exhausting to answer deluded men.

I hear dat, red.

Where does -helping people who are new & want to learn- end and
-showing jerks how to masquerade as good guys- begin?

And, in my brief spell back here on the boards, already I have to wonder how often do they listen, anyway?

I think intelligent people can tell the difference between someone who is new and wanting to learn and between the other kind. You can also view a profile and see what they say there as well.

I think you can tell who listens; they come back and become part of the forum.

The ones who do not listen, tend to not reply back in their own threads or just disappear in a huff saying we are all mean.

(in reply to LonDom61)

Post #: 31

RE: i'm curious - 11/11/2012 7:39:23 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Strange. I don't seem to have this problem at all. In fact, even in nilla life, I rarely, as in almost never, have people TELL me what to do, make demands of/on me.
They ask, they make requests, we discuss shit in civilized ways.
Might just be who and what I am, something to do with being assertive.
Seems to me that gals demand things from people who lack certainty, who don't draw that submission from them.
And that has zero to do with what you say, but everything about who says it...and how they go about saying it

Yeah, but Kana, you're talking about actually talking to people. The op's pouting about all those hot young sub profiles that say the guy has to be within five years of her age, and have a job. Those kinds of demands.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 32

RE: i'm curious - 11/12/2012 6:29:45 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Bah-you just charm your way through that. Why else would God have given Irishmen the gift o`blarney if not so seduce the knickers off of hot lil gals?

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 33

RE: i'm curious - 11/12/2012 8:40:39 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Bah-you just charm your way through that. Why else would God have given Irishmen the gift o`blarney if not so seduce the knickers off of hot lil gals?

I hate that. It's all the guys that think that they don't have to respect my boundaries because they're so sparkly and speshul that fill up my email box.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 34

RE: i'm curious - 11/12/2012 8:44:42 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

well, yanno, if it was Kana, and I only knew half of what I know about him.. it would probably work on me! Of course, I am speaking strictly of Kana.....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 35

RE: i'm curious - 11/12/2012 10:33:03 AM

PrincessDonna11

Posts: 289
Joined: 8/7/2011
Status: offline

Yep Ive noticed that too... the demands arent even reasonable.."you can fuck me in the ass but I wont put on womens panties....go figure....

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 36

RE: i'm curious - 11/13/2012 12:11:06 AM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domfurrejon

why do subs seem to start by ordering what they will demand of a dom if im going to take the effort to make someone my sub im going to push them beyond there normal boundrys

The problem is that you think there is one particular sub personality. BDSM is a big spectrum, and people have diverse needs and desires. Some people who label themselves subs only want to engage in a limited range of BDSM activities of their choosing, and they have no desire or tolerance for having their boundaries pushed. And that's fine, even though it may not work for you.

That said, it sounds like you may be focusing too much on the BDSM elements from the start. People who lead with kink are usually going to only connect with people who are leading with their kink too, so it's not surprising you're experiencing kink clash.

(in reply to domfurrejon)

Post #: 37

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