looking for something real 24/7 longterm (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

eansdal -> looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/7/2012 6:58:31 PM)

Any advice for someone wanting a girlfriend, specifically someone who wants a daddy type boyfriend for a longterm relationship?



OsideGirl -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/7/2012 7:06:10 PM)

It's not all that different than establishing a vanilla relationship. Approach her as a woman first, get to know her, etc....



MstrPBK -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/7/2012 7:13:26 PM)

been looking for that 24/7 person for 20+ years ... still looking here.
beginning to think it is a myth.



littlewonder -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/7/2012 9:35:11 PM)

How did you find a girlfriend before you came here? It's exactly the same here.

If you fail at "vanilla"relationships, you will fail at bdsm ones.



theRose4U -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/7/2012 10:21:42 PM)

For a daddy type? Don't lead with your wallet! Show her what about being with YOU is desirable...not what you can/will buy her



eansdal -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/8/2012 3:50:54 PM)

You know I have no clue I just met women, no particular way just did. I joined here to find something specific.



OsideGirl -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/8/2012 4:13:25 PM)

It's truly not all that different. If you see someone interesting contact her, be polite, get to know her. Talk on the phone, meet face to face. I would also suggest getting out to your local community and meeting people. The easiest way to find groups and events is to search for your area on Fet Life.



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/8/2012 7:05:51 PM)

First, change your primary photo. I looked & you have some nice other pics. I first became interested in the D/s dynamic because I wanted to be in a Daddy/daughter thing. First, the primary you photo you have now doesn't say mature & that is what someone looking for a "daddy" will want. Second, your profile does not read like someone who knows what or why he is looking for this (& most subs aren't going to fall for the because you "think it is hot to be called daddy during sex". Explain what you want in the actual (non-sex) relationship. Are you really familiar with the REAL dynamic? SOmeone hardcore enough to want to live this is probably going to be fully immersed in it..She may expect to wear the little girl clothes, expect you (like a real parent) to cook & clean & take care of her needs. Another thing...make sure you want a sub/daughter for a GF & not a GF who will role play. If this is really what you want, check into the "age players" around you. We have one in DC (littles munch DC I think)



eansdal -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/8/2012 7:19:31 PM)

Good input, I'm naturally just a silly person its why I said I hate labels. Being a daddy/dom would be the closest cause of my desire to want to shelter and take care of someone but I'm just a goofy immature (for 38) person. I will do some revisioning on this and thank you for the input much appreciated.



OsideGirl -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/8/2012 7:20:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

First, change your primary photo. I looked & you have some nice other pics. I first became interested in the D/s dynamic because I wanted to be in a Daddy/daughter thing. First, the primary you photo you have now doesn't say mature & that is what someone looking for a "daddy" will want. Second, your profile does not read like someone who knows what or why he is looking for this (& most subs aren't going to fall for the because you "think it is hot to be called daddy during sex". Explain what you want in the actual (non-sex) relationship. Are you really familiar with the REAL dynamic? SOmeone hardcore enough to want to live this is probably going to be fully immersed in it..She may expect to wear the little girl clothes, expect you (like a real parent) to cook & clean & take care of her needs. Another thing...make sure you want a sub/daughter for a GF & not a GF who will role play. If this is really what you want, check into the "age players" around you. We have one in DC (littles munch DC I think)


Daddy Dom doesn't necessarily mean "age play". Some use the term to denote a warmer, fuzzier Dominant.



eansdal -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/8/2012 7:40:43 PM)

You get it, I'm more of a sweet type outside te bedroom but have used belts, paddles, among other things in the bedroom. I really need to treat my girl with kindness and roughness all in one. I'm expecting this to be a long process. All help and input I much appreciated.



OsideGirl -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/8/2012 7:47:15 PM)

It can be a real dichotomy. Master is Daddy. He's a hardcore sadist and an alpha, but with me he can be cuddly, silly, protective, sweet and a gentleman too.



theRose4U -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/8/2012 8:29:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: eansdal

You get it, I'm more of a sweet type outside te bedroom but have used belts, paddles, among other things in the bedroom. I really need to treat my girl with kindness and roughness all in one. I'm expecting this to be a long process. All help and input I much appreciated.

While others will disagree, I just call this a dominant! Contrary to popular opinion there actually is no law requiring us to be heartless whip toting bastards all the time.sweet fuzzy & cherished some days is how i roll!!



DarkSteven -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/9/2012 1:26:39 AM)

sounds like you're looking for a Daddy/little girl relationship. If so, there are way more lgs than Daddies. Happy hunting!



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/9/2012 6:57:37 AM)

By all the different answers you are seeing why it is important to really define what you want. Everybody thinks different things when they hear the same terms. So, first-do you want the daddy thing just in the bedroom? You role play scenes, maybe she puts her hair in pigtails...you pretend she is your 16 yr old daughter who stole your car keys & now you are going to punish her... Or do you want to be a gentle (not sadistic) Dom... You want a sub who will be submissive to you in and out of bed but you don't use pain for pleasure (you won't do scenes where you just tie her up and whip her to arouse you). For me, pain=punishment which I expect if I do something wrong only. I don't want a Dom who is turned on by hurting me (that is just ME though). Third, some women read the "daddy Dom" to be a sugar daddy. She wants an allowance, to live with you and not work, she expects you to be financially responsible for her.

Again, develop your profile. Search for local to you subs (more likely the ones who are willing to relocate or far away are wanting just money). READ her profile. Only respond if you meet her criteria so you don't end up in "bulk" mail. Ask questions that indicate your desire to know about HER not just her kinks. Give only a "brief" self-summary (so it doesn't sound like you are a guy who is just looking for ANYONE but for THE ONE). Message back & forth on here for a while (it is free and often people who want you to go to offsite or webcam immediately have ulterior motives). Don't jump into "I want 24/7, live in..." But state that you are not interested in just playing but in finding someone who you can have a longterm relationship with (I call it vanilla with a kinky twist)

I give you all this advice because you seem like a sweetheart of a guy. Plus, use the photo of you in the red shirt!!! YUMMM



eansdal -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/9/2012 4:31:09 PM)

Your right see I hate labels cause I'm just me I'm unique different and its really hard to define what I am. I call it a daddy dom you can call it dominant and your right. The thing is I'm mostly sweet and funny but I have a sadistic rough streak that is also me. Online dating for me is torture cause I can meet someone for 10 mintues in person and get a good feel for them, I can never get that feel for them online, but I'm trying. Thanks for your help, God knows i need it.



eansdal -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/9/2012 4:33:19 PM)

I will update the profile and red shirt huh? I just took that one yesterday.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/9/2012 9:15:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Daddy Dom doesn't necessarily mean "age play". Some use the term to denote a warmer, fuzzier Dominant.

This is SO true. When I was a sub, I preferred Daddy Doms but I was so NOT an age-player. I was what was called a regressive little. Age play felt too fake to me, like role-playing instead of reality. There's a whole range of stuff to DD/lg dynamics. I don't know if the OP is on Fetlife, but he'd be surprised at all the DD/lg groups on there.

NBMG



OsideGirl -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/10/2012 8:34:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Daddy Dom doesn't necessarily mean "age play". Some use the term to denote a warmer, fuzzier Dominant.

This is SO true. When I was a sub, I preferred Daddy Doms but I was so NOT an age-player. I was what was called a regressive little. Age play felt too fake to me, like role-playing instead of reality. There's a whole range of stuff to DD/lg dynamics. I don't know if the OP is on Fetlife, but he'd be surprised at all the DD/lg groups on there.

NBMG

I call Master "Daddy" and don't do little girl or anything even close to DD/lg dynamics. We use that because it's a casual, warm, fuzzie low protocol dynamic.



RemoteUser -> RE: looking for something real 24/7 longterm (11/10/2012 2:17:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: eansdal

Any advice for someone wanting a girlfriend, specifically someone who wants a daddy type boyfriend for a longterm relationship?


My girl approached me about something that had nothing to do with kink. We enjoy a very fullfilling D/lg relationship that grew from learning about each other first, then the kink.

I would suggest you look at it this way. Normally it would be hard enough to meet a girl, talk with her, get a feel for her, and then have to guess if she likes the same things as you do between (or beyond) the sheets. You still have to get to know her, and she, you, but this is an environment where guessing how things will lead sexually is not so much of a guess.

You'll get there. Enjoy the steps on the way though. What's her sense of humour? What does she watch, what does she read? Share stories and opinions. Maybe she'll tell you her first name? Or you'll hear her say it. Maybe you'll hear her laugh, too, and the way her voice changes when she says your name. I remember all of these things with my girl, and most especially the first time I held her. She buried her face in my chest and we stood there, together, alone.

I wish you all the best, OP. Go find a lady and treat her right (and let her do the same for you!).



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875