Pretty new need some help! (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

PrincessRoze -> Pretty new need some help! (11/8/2012 4:47:26 PM)

It made sense to ask a submissive or slave to help me so here goes :) I am new one thing Id like to know is how to change the picture next to your name in posts (for me it shows a vanilla cone and says vanilla) I saw some people have other images.
Second thing Id like to know is if you can set up a notifier or maybe a place where you view your last posts (where you posted last) thats all for now just answer me below and post!



JeffBC -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/8/2012 4:53:24 PM)

The ice cream cone thing is a post count. Just ignore it.

You can view your posts by using the search feature at the upper-right (among other ways I think but that's how I do it)



stef -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/8/2012 4:53:35 PM)

You can't change the icon below your username, it's tied to the number of forum posts you've made and will change automatically. If you want to view your last posts, click search above and search on your username.




PrincessRoze -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/8/2012 4:55:37 PM)

Great thanks your post helped!



OsideGirl -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/8/2012 5:19:00 PM)

When you do a reply, there's a button that says, "notify me if someone replies" down at the bottom next to the signature, but I don't know if there is a way to subscribe to the threads.



JanahX -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/8/2012 6:55:19 PM)

Below are the forum rankings we use
they are based on levels of corruption
the more you post to the forum, the more "corrupted" you become *grins*


1-24 = Vanilla
25-49= Curious
50-74 = Newbie
75-99 = Kinky
100-199 = Indecent
200-299 = Twisted
300-399 = Deviant
400-499 = Perverted
500-999 = Corrupted
1000-1499 = Wicked
1500-1999 = Evil
2000-9999 = Deranged
10000-14999 = Insane
15000+ = Condemned




giving -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 4:21:04 AM)

I am extremely new to this life style, so new infact I meet my very first Dom yesterday. We meet in a publc place. Wedid not have sex, but we did somethings. I want I am so excited about this lifestyle but I have a few concerns. One,he does not want to use condoms. Is this the way most Dom are? Also,after I got home and was in bedI started to feel cheap and used. Is this normal?. Could someone give me some advice about this lifestyle. Thank you.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 4:37:59 AM)

Practicing safe sex I would say is a must - at least at the beginning.
Its not just safety against unwanted pregnancies but also for various STI's.

You don't hardly know the man so I would insist on using condoms.
If he insists he doesn't (coz he's a Dom and you're a sub), if you aren't happy taking those risks then ditch him and move on.

As for feeling cheap and used afterwards (even with not having sex), that is something you need to wrestle with and decide if you still want to go down the path you appear to have chosen. Not being a sub, I can't honestly say if it was 'normal' or not to feel this way but my gut instincts tell me that if you are having some sort of guilt feelings and revulsion about it then you aren't ready for the consequences yet.

I'm sure a sub will come along and say something more positive one way or the other from their own perspective.


Just my 2 cents.




Killerangel -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 5:00:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: giving

I am extremely new to this life style, so new infact I meet my very first Dom yesterday. We meet in a publc place. Wedid not have sex, but we did somethings. I want I am so excited about this lifestyle but I have a few concerns. One,he does not want to use condoms. Is this the way most Dom are? Also,after I got home and was in bedI started to feel cheap and used. Is this normal?. Could someone give me some advice about this lifestyle. Thank you.


What does it matter how most Doms are? If you want to use condoms you use them, and that's if you want to have sex. If you don't yet then you don't. If you're feeling used then I'd say you're going too fast and should slow down to a pace that you're more comfortable with. You have just as much input into this as he does. Honestly why are you even talking about sex yet with a man you just met once?

If you do agree to not using condoms I hope you plan on dragging his ass to be tested and then watching him every minute of the day so you know he's clean and hasn't had sex with anyone after the test.



DarkSteven -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 6:37:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: giving

I am extremely new to this life style, so new infact I meet my very first Dom yesterday. We meet in a publc place. Wedid not have sex, but we did somethings. I want I am so excited about this lifestyle but I have a few concerns. One,he does not want to use condoms. Is this the way most Dom are? Also,after I got home and was in bedI started to feel cheap and used. Is this normal?. Could someone give me some advice about this lifestyle. Thank you.


If he was a Dom, he wasn't a good one.

1. You played on a first date. Not that I haven't done that myself, but it sounds like he pushed you.
2. He won't use condoms. That's fine for couples in longterm relationships, and is called fluid bonding. He's trying for quick, no commitment sex, and no protection is not safe for that.
3. You felt cheap and used. That's because he pushed you too far too fast. Also, the conversation about condoms shows that he wants sex even though you don't evidently feel like you were Dominated. It's almost like he showed you stuff clinically, without the emotions.




SimplyMichael -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 6:56:32 AM)

Feeling cheap and used is common...after being cheap and used.



LonDom61 -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 7:32:42 AM)

Two articles that I think should be standard reading for novice submissives.

I have often recommended these. I usually just suggest googling them. Wanted to provide links here. Turns out neither is as easy to find as I thought.

An Acid Test for Doms
...is actually for the benefit of subs. Context about the online community, plus very good tips on what to look for--and look OUT for--in a prospective Dom.

http://www.withinreality.com/acidtest.html


Safe First Meet Tips
Just what it says. Some may seem too paranoid. Do the ones that seem appropriate. Not just the ones that are easy.


That is the search term that used to bring it right up. And...damn, the google results have changed a lot since last I looked. Now page one has a bunch of vanillacentric articles.

Reading a few of those may suffice. I am not going to drill down to find a kink one at the moment. Try including BDSM in the search terms.




OsideGirl -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 8:12:52 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


If he was a Dom, he wasn't a good one.
I'm guessing he's someone that likes newbies because they're easy to take advantage of.

quote:

1. You played on a first date. Not that I haven't done that myself, but it sounds like he pushed you.
It wasn't even a date. It was a first meeting. This is exactly the reason why I always give the advice that you shouldn't engage in play or sex on the first meeting. You just engaged in things with someone you're not even sure you liked, right?

quote:

2. He won't use condoms. That's fine for couples in longterm relationships, and is called fluid bonding. He's trying for quick, no commitment sex, and no protection is not safe for that.
If someone is not willing to be concerned with your safety, you need to walk away. Besides, you don't think you're the first or only woman he's done this to, do you? You have absolutely no idea where his dick has been.

quote:

3. You felt cheap and used. That's because he pushed you too far too fast.
He might have pushed, but she allowed it to happen.


I actually agree with Michael's assessment of # 3 better:




quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Feeling cheap and used is common...after being cheap and used.


You're 40 years old.You have the responsibility for your own safety. You need to slow down, put some boundaries into place and stick with them, otherwise "Doms" will continue to take advantage of you.

If you want to talk about this, feel free to drop me an email.






giving -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 10:07:40 AM)

I was talking earlier about feeling cheap and used but there is so much more. i want this more than anything!!!! He gave me 5 orgazims in the front seat of my car!!!! He got his to. But know I am confused about being "owned or not" I emailed he what he wanted. He told me yesterday what to do in my email. I did that. Today I had some messages from other Dom's and he said I could reply. What does that mean?



chatterbox24 -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 10:11:20 AM)

Yes I was a snow cone once, I mean a vanilla cone but if you look at my name now Im quite corrupted. lol. What will I be with more posts? Can't wait. [:)]



OsideGirl -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 10:18:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: giving

I was talking earlier about feeling cheap and used but there is so much more. i want this more than anything!!!! He gave me 5 orgazims in the front seat of my car!!!! He got his to. But know I am confused about being "owned or not" I emailed he what he wanted. He told me yesterday what to do in my email. I did that. Today I had some messages from other Dom's and he said I could reply. What does that mean?


For the love of God, you don't even know this man. Stop thinking with your genitals.

Slow down, get to know him, figure out if you like who he is....then decide if you want to play or have sex with him.



chatterbox24 -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 10:27:45 AM)

OMG, ha! I dont mean this mean, trust me I dont. BUT WAS I THIS STUPID TOO??? Yes, yes i was.
Ok now, my advice is to trust your own instinct.


Ok back to the original reason for your posting.

Can someone tell me how to double quote? Put multiple peoples name in one post, to comment? I have never figured that out.



giving -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 10:28:25 AM)

It seems like offended some people.. apologies to you. Here is my story... I am married for 13 years. Early October a friend of mine found out about this lifestyle. She introduced it to me. She didn't really think to much of it. i on the other hand am completely attracted to it. I found all kinds of web sites and had to actually google things. The person I had my first meeting with we started by computer then phone. Once I felt comfortable we meet. I tried to talk to my hubby about what I wanted to try. I even went to my very first sex store. All I bought was flavored oil and liquid chocolate paint. My hubby told me to pick up my bible. I felt dirty. That was in October. No sex since then.



mnottertail -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 10:40:27 AM)

My hubby told me to pick up my bible.

Do so.  Note my sigline. 

To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

God's command there.


  1. Lot refuses to give up his angels to the perverted mob, offering his two "virgin daughters" instead. He tells the bunch of angel rapers to "do unto them [his daughters] as is good in your eyes." This is the same man that is called "just" and "righteous" in 2 Pet.2:7-8. 19:8

  2. Lot and his daughters camp out in a cave for a while. The daughters get their "just and righteous" father drunk, and have sexual intercourse with him, and each conceives and bears a son (wouldn't you know it!). Just another wholesome family values Bible story.

Reuben went and lay with his father's concubine."  35:22, 49:4

If any man's seed of copulation go out from him...." (God's law for wet dreams)
This passage tells you what to do if you get your "seed of copulation" on yourself, your clothes, or your partner.

So goddammit, you got to swallow it or hide it in your ass and snatch, it's not just a good idea, it is the law.

But the first thing is at the origin of the world, women desire, pain, sex with their husband and control........

Tell him if he want's to get right with the lord, he will dress you like a whore and kick the dogfuck outta you for the saving of both your souls.

IAM YHWH God, esq.



Killerangel -> RE: Pretty new need some help! (11/9/2012 10:43:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: giving

I was talking earlier about feeling cheap and used but there is so much more. i want this more than anything!!!! He gave me 5 orgazims in the front seat of my car!!!! He got his to. But know I am confused about being "owned or not" I emailed he what he wanted. He told me yesterday what to do in my email. I did that. Today I had some messages from other Dom's and he said I could reply. What does that mean?


You can get orgasms from a vibrator. The guy isn't all that special, I mean it's nice and all to be sexually satisfied, but you don't necessarily have to have him for that. Sounds as though you are in sub frenzy. You have a vibrator right? If not get one by ordering it online or go back to the sex shop and get one, might help slow you down some.

quote:


It seems like offended some people.. apologies to you. Here is my story... I am married for 13 years. Early October a friend of mine found out about this lifestyle. She introduced it to me. She didn't really think to much of it. i on the other hand am completely attracted to it. I found all kinds of web sites and had to actually google things. The person I had my first meeting with we started by computer then phone. Once I felt comfortable we meet. I tried to talk to my hubby about what I wanted to try. I even went to my very first sex store. All I bought was flavored oil and liquid chocolate paint. My hubby told me to pick up my bible. I felt dirty. That was in October. No sex since then.


So you're cheating on your husband then? Are you planning to leave the marriage or keep going behind his back?

Not having sex since October isn't all that much of a hardship, some go years. Does he actually know that by not having sex with you that you're seeking it elsewhere? Did you tell him that?



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.0625