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venting - 6/15/2006 2:44:19 PM

liltess

Posts: 38
Joined: 11/9/2005
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Recently I have been going on a personal roller coaster with my divource and exams at school not to mention unable to get rid of this nagging bladder infection. Anyways this is what happened, my owner stayed with me all weekend and even Monday as his car broke down and he took it to the dealership that morning, so I go to work run around there like a chicken with my head cut off because it was so busy, come home pick up kids from my mothers and go home to start my second job {being mom} while the kids are eating I am studying intensly, while the hours wiz by the dog starts to howl strangely not realizing it was the phone in the living room I didn't answer it, I go to bed at midnight. Then wake to start the day again, when I got to work and opened my email I saw Masters email of how he tried to call, so I explained how I didn't hear it but seems my dog did and apologized, I thought he understood. Anyways I go to school after work, on the way I realized I forgot to grab my cell phones [work and personal] on the way out and could not turn around to get it. Getting to school just in time as I left work late, we take the exam [which i bombed] we were let out of class early [8:45pm] so I went to the library to gather more research info for my paper with a nice migraine once I realized the time I rushed home to get the kids and walked into my house at 11pm I was not feeling well so I went to take a bath, meds and climb into bed I fell instantly asleep. Master apparently called again and I didn't get the call. I explained again the goings on and I got "all I am hearing is excuses" . I know I should have called when I got in, but this is not something I do frequently, this is actually the first but for Him it has been many I have left messages for him or called and got his voicemail come to find out he either shut off his phone or fell alseep or was out shopping. What I am having a hard time with this is, I am sub but I think of communication on this path a two way path not only a one way, but now I am told I am being disrespectful and need to think on it. *sighs* sorry guys I just needed to vent

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RE: venting - 6/15/2006 4:13:56 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
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I think the situation is interesting and one we can all learn from. Everyone mostly sees a situation from their own perspective.

Your perspective:
1. You were too busy, tired, unavailable to call and you can see that as logical reasons as to why you havent been able to be contacted or to contact and so you see your Master as being unreasonanble in a way with how he has responded.

His perspective:
2. He has tried to call you numerous times, has gotten frustrated "Why the heck cant I contact my submissive, where the hell is she?" ..and has voiced his frustration to you...he wants it fixed.

Both perspectives are valid. If you both start stepping into the others shoes, understanding comes..and the relationship develops. The how's and why's and excuses aren't important....the resolution is.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to liltess)

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RE: venting - 6/15/2006 5:31:38 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
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Sorry, what's good for the gander is good for the goose. If he can't be a *little* understanding knowing all that you've got on your plate (job, school, children) then I think there is a problem. However, I will say, you should be sure to put your phones in a place where you will not leave them behind. A little micromanagement on that specific area would probably have made this a non-issue.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to slavejali)

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RE: venting - 6/15/2006 7:27:18 PM

liltess

Posts: 38
Joined: 11/9/2005
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thank you jali and feastie, I know what you are saying jali and I did put myself there and realize I should have called him but I tend to lean more to feasties side on the 'whats good for the gander is good for the goose. To me that is only common curtisy on both parts. And feastie phones are now tied to my purse and waist..LOL

(in reply to feastie)

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RE: venting - 6/15/2006 10:13:55 PM

FangsNfeet

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Joined: 12/3/2004
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He seems to not be caring much about you, your school, nor your kids and is only more interested in his own phone power agenda. Weither we like it or not, we doms do have to become a 2nd priority now and then. If he can't realize that, well, you know what to do.

As for phone conversations, it's always best to schedule times and decide who is going to be calling who each time.

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RE: venting - 6/15/2006 10:50:20 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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Have you seen a doctor for your bladder infection? Please don't let that go because it can, truly, lead to many problems later on.

As for life.. life is life.. shit happens and no one is perfect.. not you, not your Master.. think big picture and long term and let the small stuff go. You have more than enough going on in your life without additional worries. Prioritize .. daily if need be .. until you have a good system going to manage your time.

Good luck to you.. and please, if you haven't seen one, make a doctors appointment. Squeeze it in somewhere, anywhere.. but do take care of it as a top of the list item.

I wish you wellness.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

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RE: venting - 6/16/2006 5:55:57 AM

liltess

Posts: 38
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I have a profile Kimera, it is disactive per HIS REQUEST, to Activate it without his permission would be wrong. You can also stop with the name calling I have not cussed or called anyone names and I know I can be one but you have no right to call me a bitch.

< Message edited by liltess -- 6/16/2006 5:59:47 AM >

(in reply to Kimera)

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RE: venting - 6/16/2006 6:27:08 AM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
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Tess,

Take all that has been said to you, glean the good and apply it to your situation and the rest can be thrown in the garbage as it has no effect on what you do. People that don't know you and your particular situation will give you their opinion but it is up to you to decide what to do with it. Don't sweat the small stuff (kimera's post) You don't owe her/him anything including an explanation. We all have a right to vent.

Ms Loren

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"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to liltess)

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RE: venting - 6/16/2006 6:32:37 AM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kimera

There are no accidents. You made sure that He couldn't reach you after a weekend when He was devoted to you. If your life is so complicated that you can't handle being "owned" (like you really are, at all), then stop playing games until you can cope.

Oh, and post a friggin' profile. You are too effing lazy to even do that, apparently.

And stop whining.

Kimme, who knows how to make sure her boi can reach her when she wants him to.
(edited to point out this whiny bitch can't even be bothered to post a profile, but she sure can whine).

And I'm feeling a bit dyspetic tonight.

This lifestyle is about tolerance, being able to be who we are and not being ostrasized about it by the vanilla community much less our own. Get off your high horse...if you cannot offer something constructive keep your opinion to yourself. It's not helpful or welcome.

Ms Loren

nuff said

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"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to Kimera)

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RE: venting - 6/16/2006 6:40:02 AM

Lashra

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Your a busy woman and unfortnately life can get even more hectic when unexpected. It sounds like Master needs to be a bit more understanding, particulary when children are involved THEY have to come FIRST and then your education. I know he is important as well but sometimes a Dominant needs to know when to stand back and give their sub some breathing room.

Being a Dominant doesn't mean its all about *me* all the time, two people make up a relationship, two people have to be just as important as well as their needs.

Good luck!

~Lashra

(in reply to BBBTBW)

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RE: venting - 6/16/2006 7:25:35 AM

liltess

Posts: 38
Joined: 11/9/2005
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thank you Ms Loren and Lashra, I am trying to do that, but little hard as he is still irritated with me and is not speaking to me.

(in reply to Lashra)

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