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VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/10/2012 5:40:15 PM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		Over the last week I have come face to face with one of my deepest and darkest demons related to S&M and other cultural taboo. I need to find someone to talk to inside the community before I talk to my own physician or other professional in the the medical field. Might someone with in the community (who is qualified) have some time to help me begin to sort this out?

Please be kind here; this not a simple case of just 'telling a doctor'. There are deep issues at hand, and they have to be dealt with correctly or others will put a bad identity on my existence.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/10/2012 6:48:01 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Hi PBK,

This is a list of kink friendly psychologists:

https://ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aware-professionals-directory/kap-directory-homepage.html?catid=13

My degree focused on relationship counseling, but I may be able to help a little bit, if you'd like to drop me an email I'd be happy to try.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MstrPBK)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/11/2012 4:12:16 AM   
Salinedion


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline 		With respect, it sounds like you know you are going to get some serious grief for your proclivities and are looking for an intermediary to help you lessen it.

I think that that is a very unrealistic goal.

Your self is your self and hoping that someone else's insights will give you the right words to counter the "bad identity of your existence" is likely to be futile.

Ultimately, you will still be on your own during that fateful doctor's visit. Therapeutic insight will certainly be otherwise helpful, tho.

Of course, without any facts, it's impossible to assess just how much shame you face and what it means in your life. Might you be overstating just how taboo your thing really is?


_____________________________

I hate the 'reply to' note at the end of the post. Just assume I'm posting to the board at large and not the person above me unless I say diff, OK?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/11/2012 6:30:01 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		If a regular physician is involved...its VD. Tell them the basics, they've heard it all before.
How, why & where are TMI...keep those to yourself.

If its more complicated than jungle rot, a kink friendly therapist should make the drama seeking unnessary!!


_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Salinedion)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/11/2012 1:24:54 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		i hope you find the help you seek.

(in reply to MstrPBK)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/11/2012 7:14:46 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Call up your doctor and ask for recommendations of good therapists. Call the therapists and ask how experienced and knowledgeable they are about alternate lifestyles. If they are knowledgeable, go see them and see if you like them enough to use them. If you don't click, go see the next one on the list.

If you find a clinical psychologist instead of a social worker, your odds of having someone knowledgeable and accepting will be better.

If you think you're going to be outed, go see your lawyer instead.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/12/2012 7:08:25 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrPBK

Over the last week I have come face to face with one of my deepest and darkest demons related to S&M and other cultural taboo. I need to find someone to talk to inside the community before I talk to my own physician or other professional in the the medical field. Might someone with in the community (who is qualified) have some time to help me begin to sort this out?

Please be kind here; this not a simple case of just 'telling a doctor'. There are deep issues at hand, and they have to be dealt with correctly or others will put a bad identity on my existence.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN


Bud....it would help if you divulge a smidge...you're welcome to write privately if this is a tender subject.

(in reply to MstrPBK)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/19/2012 4:35:55 PM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		Just wanted to say thank you to those who responded to this topic. Each of you have made the first step a little easier (in different ways). The second step has also been taken and have had a talk with my general physician. He is still wrapping his heard head around he foundation subject. The Third step of the path is also set in stone with an appointment with a Psychologist down the read.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/19/2012 4:54:59 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Uh you're welcome? You do realize this is now part of your perminant CM record for any future partner to pull up...like forever?

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to MstrPBK)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/19/2012 5:33:14 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrPBK

Over the last week I have come face to face with one of my deepest and darkest demons related to S&M and other cultural taboo. I need to find someone to talk to inside the community before I talk to my own physician or other professional in the the medical field. Might someone with in the community (who is qualified) have some time to help me begin to sort this out?

Please be kind here; this not a simple case of just 'telling a doctor'. There are deep issues at hand, and they have to be dealt with correctly or others will put a bad identity on my existence.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN



Jeeez Louise!!!!!

There's more than a few who are capable of offering advice here.

(in reply to MstrPBK)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/19/2012 5:36:17 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrPBK

Just wanted to say thank you to those who responded to this topic. Each of you have made the first step a little easier (in different ways). The second step has also been taken and have had a talk with my general physician. He is still wrapping his heard head around he foundation subject. The Third step of the path is also set in stone with an appointment with a Psychologist down the read.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA


Hey bud...me and my doc are very close friends....I tell him everything (everything).

Truly....you have to splurge.....to your doc....let it go....don't be afraid....

Ya gotta let it go man.

(in reply to MstrPBK)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/19/2012 5:49:54 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		PBK, I'm so glad you're moving forward.


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Uh you're welcome? You do realize this is now part of your perminant CM record for any future partner to pull up...like forever?


1) Being strong enough and smart enough to reach out when you know you're having a problem is a sign of strength.

2) Dealing with our health, both physical and mental, is more important and shouldn't be considered something to be ashamed of.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/19/2012 7:32:37 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Uh you're welcome? You do realize this is now part of your perminant CM record for any future partner to pull up...like forever?


Personally I prefer a partner who seeks professional help when needed instead of not addressing the issue. Myself, I would find this a point in his favor.

Oh and PBK, if this is related to childhood abuse, you need a therapist who specializes in survivors of that.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 11/19/2012 7:34:53 PM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/19/2012 7:51:01 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

PBK, I'm so glad you're moving forward.


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Uh you're welcome? You do realize this is now part of your perminant CM record for any future partner to pull up...like forever?


1) Being strong enough and smart enough to reach out when you know you're having a problem is a sign of strength.

2) Dealing with our health, both physical and mental, is more important and shouldn't be considered something to be ashamed of.


This ^^^
quote:

Personally I prefer a partner who seeks professional help when needed instead of not addressing the issue. Myself, I would find this a point in his favor.

And this^^^

Good luck to you PBK, and good on ya for knowing when to seek help. Everyone needs help at one time or another.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/20/2012 10:40:04 AM   
evesgrden


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline 		Looking in the mirror is one thing.
Deciding that you want to change what you see is in a league of its own.

PBK... congrats.

:)

_____________________________

What you permit, you promote.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/20/2012 10:42:57 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Uh you're welcome? You do realize this is now part of your perminant CM record for any future partner to pull up...like forever?

I do not see where that is a problem, perhaps you can enlighten me?

PBK good luck. Facing demons sucks. I still have a few I am not ready to look at yet.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/20/2012 10:55:26 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
I do not see where that is a problem, perhaps you can enlighten me?

Me too. I was confused when I read theRose4U's post.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/20/2012 10:59:43 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Two things set me on a vastly different and much more satisfying path in life. Most important was a therapist who,helped me work through anger and communication issues. It takes fearlessness to go to a shrink and bare the deepest scariest shit you got.

Rock on!

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/20/2012 9:16:11 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Wow, this thread is awesome. I'm so glad to see the encouragement here.

I've also bared my deepest, darkest stuff to an amazing therapist, and it helped me immensely. It was scary as hell. Sometimes I wanted to stop going. But trusting the process allowed me to get to where I am today, which is in a much better place.

Congratulations to you for seeking help for yourself.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to MstrPBK)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: VERY SERIOUS: Is there a Psychologist in the house? - 11/20/2012 10:26:47 PM   
yourdarkdesire


Posts: 4477
Joined: 10/2/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline 		PBK, I wish you nothing but luck in facing your demons. I hope that the therapist you have chosen can help you. I have recently faced some of my own demons with the help of a special person here. He is not trained, but simply listened as I bared my soul. I already had the dots I needed, he just helped me connect them. May you find peace.

_____________________________

President, ProSubsRUs

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 20
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