ThatDaveGuy69 -> RE: Collarme is down (11/11/2012 2:23:01 AM)
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In my best Ted Koppel voice... The nation, indeed the world, holds its breath as we conclude hour 2 of COLLARME HELD HOSTAGE. Good evening ladies and gentlement and welcome back to our show. It has now been over 2 hours since terrorists took control of the nations largest BDSM site, collarme.com, thus forcing 1,000's of kinky and kink-friendly people around the world to find other ways to communicate. We have reports here of some members actually leaving their homes to interact in person. While extreme, these acts are few and far between. Many are able to survive on the porn content they had already downloaded while still others have decided to just sleep through it all. Hard data in all this is difficult to come by so we turn instead to wild speculation. For example, we are assuming that this is an act of terror as no official statement has been made by anyone at Collarme headquarters. One can only imagine the horror they must be facing right now at the hands of these un-named terrorists. And yet as we cross into another hour, we still have no list of demands, nor has any known group taken credit for this. There was speculation earlier that the hacker group Anonymous was behind this but those rumors were put to rest when the head of that organization outted himself to state publicly that they had no interest in, as he put it: "a bunch perverts". He was immediately taken into custody and faces charges from a host of nations as well as several evangelical groups. When asked to comment on the situation, a top White House official replied: "Collar who?", thus confirming that this crisis is much larger than we had 1st surmised. To further prove this point we have been told that the President has not been awakened. Additional calls to administration officials have not been returned although one un-named individual did tell ABC News to go f*%&k ourselves. Clearly, this administration is operating in Crisis Mode. We need to take a break, we'll be back with more of COLLAR ME HELD HOSTAGE - HOUR 3.
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