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ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Have you ever relocated? (11/19/2012 8:58:08 AM)
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He relocated to me from Alaska, which was a huge move distance wise, but certainly didn't have the additional struggles of moving to a new country with visa issues, etc.
In order to move he sold or got rid of most of his larger possessions like furniture. His books and collectibles were stored at his brothers until they could be shipped. So basically he moved with a few large suitcases.
He moved to me at the same time we met (bold man). The plan was for him to get his own place so we could get to know each other slowly; we knew we'd be starting over when we transitioned from online to real time.
Circumstances with my ex didn't allow that to work out (the ex kidnapped my daughter and took her back up to chgo). We were forced by finances to put our lot together (he'd spent most of his savings on the move) and moved back up north together, which is how we ended up in Indiana.
Although it wasn't in the plan, he (basically) ended up rescuing me, since on my own I would not have been able to afford the move. He also provided major emotional support through a hugely difficult time with the ex.
On the one hand, it was great, as I know how he reacts in an emergency and when the chips are down. He maintained his own laid back, emotionally low key personality throughout. He never over-reacted, or blamed me for circumstances, and he always used his brain. We became long life best friends, and that's a huge plus in any relationship.
On the other hand, it wasn't so great, as we were thrown together even though we didn't know each other that well into circumstances that were financially rough and emotionally charged, and were (initially at least) very challenging. Though we rose to the challenge it took a toll on our D/s relationship -- I was so emotionally whacked out from my daughter's kidnapping and my ex's incredible power games, he felt he had to back off from being my dominant until things were more stable.
That took some time, as I had to get myself in much more emotionally healthy state. (Those nasty ex's can take a toll).
Would I recommend relocation for others? Of course, if you feel you know the person well enough, if their words match their actions, if they see building trust as the cornerstone of the relationship.
Now, if there's a nasty ex in the background who's going to flip when he finds out you have another, things can get challenging. You find out sooner as opposed to later what you're both made of.
And yeah, have a back up plan.
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