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RE: How was your first munch? - 11/22/2012 9:58:17 AM

Spiritedsub2

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Joined: 7/18/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

...And if you are sadistic, mention my name and watch certain peoples heads spin off.

This sounds worth a whole new fun thread in itself for the war stories.
Since you seem willing to comment on groups you've known, would you share your views on good bay area munches for people who are new, haven't attended one yet, and aren't TNG?

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Post #: 41

RE: How was your first munch? - 11/22/2012 10:07:13 AM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

The one I went to wasn't lousy. It was too crowded though. Lot's of people in a small place and a bit scattered. Sacramento munches are best for the younger crowd, imo.

And I think you are one of the few posters still posting here who has ever seen me play in public? Were you there that night I did the impromptu takedown scene on that tall blond? That was Cats 3rd attempt at a playspace in sacramento and one of my favorites.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 11/22/2012 10:14:11 AM >

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Post #: 42

RE: How was your first munch? - 11/22/2012 11:51:56 AM

whipher1

Posts: 51
Joined: 3/31/2006
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quote:

boring

pam we did enjoy your company

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Post #: 43

RE: How was your first munch? - 11/22/2012 12:29:57 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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mmm... that was a yummy scene. I think most enjoyed it. That was one lovely night of sights and sounds. I also enjoyed the fireplay scene with that nice Australian gentleman.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

The one I went to wasn't lousy. It was too crowded though. Lot's of people in a small place and a bit scattered. Sacramento munches are best for the younger crowd, imo.

And I think you are one of the few posters still posting here who has ever seen me play in public? Were you there that night I did the impromptu takedown scene on that tall blond? That was Cats 3rd attempt at a playspace in sacramento and one of my favorites.

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(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 44

RE: How was your first munch? - 11/22/2012 12:39:28 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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Yes. I stressed too much. It was a bunch of adults getting burgers at a restaurant and talking in high level terms about BDSM. I did not attend further munches but the munch served it's purpose in that I DID attend several MAsT meetings. If there was an effective MAsT group in my local region (which there won't be... insufficient masters and slaves) I'd probably attend that.

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Post #: 45

RE: How was your first munch? - 11/22/2012 10:40:13 PM

Nelee

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I live in central Alabama, but the boarder is a good two hours away.

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Post #: 46

RE: How was your first munch? - 11/23/2012 5:05:00 AM

lolalost

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/21/2012
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it was ok.I was the youngest by far.probably 10 years.The males were all over 40.And only 1 of 3 females.
I did get very drunk though.
Discussion surprisingly wasn't all BDSM focused.I sat on a few knees.Exerting mu cuteness and dominance :P

(in reply to Nelee)

Post #: 47

RE: How was your first munch? - 1/5/2013 6:03:21 PM

EsotericLady

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Joined: 1/2/2013
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First of all, everyone has different experiences and expectations when going to a munch for the very first time.
So please read your replies with that frame of mind. :)

The first time I went to a munch I was nervous, but really had no expectations because I had never been to one before. I decided to go out of curiosity and see what it was all about, and had no qualms about going alone.

I was WARMLY welcomed by the people who were there. They were very friendly and respectful of my position.
When I came home, I found some very nice emails waiting for me from various folks I had met, and they personally invited me to the next munch.

The downfall was that the majority of the people in attendance were already established couples, and there wasn't a single, submissive male in sight. The next time I went, there were even more people in attendance, some even single. But they were all Doms. The third time I went, no single male subs. Strange story but true.
I have not gone back.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee

I've seen quite a few posts here recently asking about munches, or what to be worried about.
I'm going to my first munch around the middle of December (I'm SO excited!), and I realize that, no matter HOW much I read on the topic, it'll never beat the cold, hard bitch slap of experience.

So, if I may ask, how was you guys first munch? Was it everything you expected it to be, or no? Did you stress a little bit too much? Was there anything that stood out for you, or did something specific keep you going back? Or was there an event that made you realize it wasn't for you?

I'm just looking for little things that I may not think of, or maybe unspoken etiquette on the entire meeting (other than the obvious).

Here's to hoping I don't make a fool of myself...

(in reply to Nelee)

Post #: 48

RE: How was your first munch? - 1/5/2013 6:40:01 PM

Moonlightmaddnes

Posts: 958
Joined: 6/4/2012
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When my husband and I or my friend and I get a chance to go it is pretty much just a chance to eat out and visit with some people. It is a pretty mixed group. Most are ok but several I do not want to get to close to since I think their kink may be no baths or showers. Really though most of them are just there to socialize.

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Post #: 49

RE: How was your first munch? - 1/6/2013 6:07:57 AM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
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I went to my 1st munch shortly after I turned 18 so it's been a few years. Lol
I remember being nervous.
I was the youngest person there.
I also remember how I felt like it was a meat market.
Which I found was because single women going to THAT munch wasn't normal. Which is something that I still find very true.

I remember feeling out of place because outside of the lifestyle and even within the lifestyle I didn't have much in common with them. They were not people I would have been having dinner with if it wasn't a munch.

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Post #: 50

RE: How was your first munch? - 1/6/2013 11:14:06 AM

Nakhla

Posts: 104
Joined: 10/24/2012
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I'm quite a shy person in real life so at my very first munch I was super quiet and mostly just listened, gauging the tone of the conversation, moods of the people, etc. But, everyone was really friendly and the mood was pretty PG-rated most of the time. I'd definitely recommend giving one a shot even if you're the shyer sort.

I think which crowd you'll wind up with will vary munch to munch. Vancouver has a busy scene and I've wound up going to about a half dozen different ones over the past three months. Each one has a bit of a different mood.

A couple are very mixed, all sorts of different types of people. They don't really have a set group so these have actually wound up being the easiest to socialize in, and at any one gathering maybe a third either haven't been there in years or are brand new.

The under 35 one is more focused on play of all kinds ( both in kinky terms and in terms of it being the gamer community ). This one was the hardest for me to fit into ( not much of a gamer ) and perhaps the most cliquey, but still pretty fun once things mellowed out a little.

The MAsT meeting was an older set of primarily established couples. This one was very mellow and welcoming, but perhaps more suited to people in an established relationship setting than singles. Also I was younger than most of their kids so I stuck out a bit.

One was more blue collar and alternative, a lot of punks, a ren-fair crowd, hippies.

One was officially more of a tutorial mixed with a play party, but wound up being so social it was pretty similar to a munch only with lots more hands-on options.

There was also a special munch just for people new to the scene, but it wound up as a couple experienced ladies explaining the different events in the scene to a room of almost silent, nervous-looking new folk and the social element didn't really take off.

In general, the up-side of munches:

- Good place to talk about BDSM, D/s, without any pressure.
- Good way of meeting new people on the scene and getting invites to more adventurous private parties.
- Pretty good at self-policing. There was a creepy guy who had groped some women in an unwanted way and now has been pretty much shut out of all Vancouver events now.
- Great networking environment for sourcing specific needs and supplies.

The down-side:

- If you're looking for wild public play, you'll mostly be disappointed or embarrassed. Stick with play parties instead.
- It can be awkward at first as everyone talks on a first-name basis and uses a ton of acronyms without explanation.
- Chances are if you're gay or have an unusual orientation or gender identity you might be the only one there. Munches offer a fair reflection of the general population.

Tips:

- If it's busy stay a while. As the group shrinks people get more social and more curious about new faces.
- Introduce yourself and get everyone's name. ( Even if you're like me and won't remember it the next time... )
- Jump into the conversation. It doesn't have to be about kink.

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Submediant In Search Of Dominant Resolution... Formerly WestBaySlave on these forums.

(in reply to Nelee)

Post #: 51

RE: How was your first munch? - 1/6/2013 7:32:20 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Ours was funny. Lots of people at an Italian place, everyone was more or less normal except for one who wanted EVERYONE to know he was Super-Srs-Master-Important-Pants. He got his meatballs and loudly proclaimed his dissatisfaction. He then grabbed his plate and went LOOKING for the waiter, telling everyone he met, "IT SAID IT WAS SPICY, BUT NOT THIS SPICY!!"

C and I were cracking up, never went to another I think.

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Post #: 52

RE: How was your first munch? - 1/6/2013 7:37:11 PM

xLaChienne

Posts: 259
Joined: 11/12/2011
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As it's January now, did you go? What did you think?

I'm not much of a munch person. Not to disparage the community in My area but I didn't find it very comfortable.

I much more enjoy events, play parties, and clubs.

(in reply to Nelee)

Post #: 53

RE: How was your first munch? - 1/6/2013 8:00:54 PM

SomethingCatchy

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Joined: 7/29/2008
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My first one was nerve wracking and uncomfortable. My second one was the same way. Third time was a little easier but still felt uncomfortable. I don't like crowds of people I don't know and have social anxiety issues. It doesn't help that on my first munch one of the 'dom' guys shook my hand and squeezed so hard I almost cried out in pain and my hand throbbed for a while after that. He was an ass, and continued to eyeball me the other times I went. There will be assholes there occasionally. It's a fact of life.

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Post #: 54

RE: How was your first munch? - 1/6/2013 11:19:47 PM

Agent99

Posts: 38
Joined: 4/21/2007
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I didn't like the roundtable at the beginning.

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Post #: 55

RE: How was your first munch? - 1/7/2013 12:39:37 AM

Pyramus

Posts: 397
Joined: 5/14/2010
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Fine, thank you.

(in reply to Agent99)

Post #: 56

RE: How was your first munch? - 1/8/2013 3:59:44 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee
So, if I may ask, how was you guys first munch? Was it everything you expected it to be, or no? Did you stress a little bit too much? Was there anything that stood out for you, or did something specific keep you going back? Or was there an event that made you realize it wasn't for you?

Well, I've been on CM since December 2008(under a different username then) but I didn't go to my first munch until October 2010.

I remember that munch very well. I was 52 years old and it was the first time I'd ventured out into the kink community, rather than meeting a kinkster here and there separately. I was painfully shy in those days. I was so nervous I'm surprised I didn't throw up. And so excited to finally be around other kinky people I thought I'd pass out. lol A friend went with me because we both wanted to go but not alone.

The munch took place in an upstairs private conference room of a restaurant. When I got there, I sat myself with my back safely toward the wall, so I could watch everything. There were about 30 people there. I actually felt a little overdressed, as I was dressed to the nines. Everyone else was dressed fairly nice casual, but I noticed there was more black leather than there would be in a vanilla crowd. One woman there was wearing black w/ chains draped over her dress. I remember thinking "Wow!" when I saw her. She's now a good friend of mine.

Everyone seemed very friendly. Most of the conversation was just friendly chitter chatter about both vanilla and kink topics. Of course, in less than half an hour my mind was on overload and the munch was three hours long! Little did I know that the man I was sitting next to would be a future Dom of mine(I was submissive at the time).

Even though I was terrified at that first munch, I remember I had a hamburger and fries and Nicki's Bella Marina still makes some of the best! Even the waitress was/is a kinkster. lol

Now, over two years later, most of those people I met at that munch are very good friends of mine, some of them closer than family. I'm no longer the nervous, scared submissive I was at that first munch, but now I'm an established member of the local kink community with a submissive of my own.

Bottom line? A munch is a meet & greet of kinksters in a restaurant. It may or may not be in a private conference room like ours is, so you have to dress accordingly and watch the conversation if you have unsuspecting vanilla restaurant patrons nearby. I wouldn't be too stressed about what to expect. But then I know that it's easy for me to say, now that I have that behind me.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 1/8/2013 4:00:52 PM >

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Post #: 57

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