Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship

Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (Full Version)

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sub1717 -> Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/17/2012 10:20:00 PM)
Hello all. I have been into this lifestyle for going on 10 years and while I have had some fun times with dominant women I have never been able to achieve my ultimate goal of a long-term relationship. I realize that it is a lot harder than finding a "vanilla" partner but does anybody have any advice or websites that deal with just FLR's? I have found this site to have a lot of Fin Dommes and Professional dommes but not so much for long-term. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

DarkSteven -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/17/2012 10:38:12 PM)
Hi there! Welcome to the forums. First, forget about an FLR site. If there is one, it'll likely be a scammer or tribute site. With that out of the way, why are you limiting your search to online? Florida has tons of kinkster groups. If you do continue to look online, try to rewrite your profile so it reflects you as a person. All the stuff about you knowing in your heart that you're submissive - the Dommes have read that all before. Talk more about your hobbies. Add pictures. Even if you want to hide your face, show yourself doing manly stuff - chopping wood, fixing a car, riding a horse, playing a musical instrument, dressed up for the opera. And don't forget (if it's true) to tell women the thing they all love to hear "I like conversation." And then mention your favorite topics.

Killerangel -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/18/2012 5:39:18 AM)
You are looking for something that that is fairly rare, there aren't all that many lifestyle female Dominants out there. They tend to be the smallest group in BDSM circles. It's nice that you have a goal in mind, but it's going to take some work. There aren't sites online where they all hang out that I know of. Honestly, your chances are better in real life and going to munches or kinky gatherings. Sounds like more work, but you'll probably have more luck.

QueenRah -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/18/2012 6:19:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub1717 Hello all...while I have had some fun times with dominant women I have never been able to achieve my ultimate goal of a long-term relationship. I realize that it is a lot harder than finding a "vanilla" partner... Really? Finding a D/s relationship shouldn't be any much harder than finding any other relationship. In fact, with the nature of the dynamic already understood, I feel it should be easier. There is just the added facet of BDSM. That being said, I'm still having a struggle finding "submissive" men who don't make it all about their kinks. Ironic, me thinks. quote: I have found this site to have a lot of Fin Dommes and Professional dommes but not so much for long-term. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Lose the sports and move closer to me. [;)] quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven With that out of the way, why are you limiting your search to online? Florida has tons of kinkster groups. If you do continue to look online, try to rewrite your profile so it reflects you as a person. All the stuff about you knowing in your heart that you're submissive - the Dommes have read that all before. Talk more about your hobbies. Add pictures. Even if you want to hide your face, show yourself doing manly stuff - chopping wood, fixing a car, riding a horse, playing a musical instrument, dressed up for the opera. And don't forget (if it's true) to tell women the thing they all love to hear "I like conversation." And then mention your favorite topics. Actually, Steven, what women love to read is, "I like listening." [insert another wink, here] 1717, DS has, pretty much, covered it. It appears that you've implemented some of his suggestions. Pictures - good, as long as they are of you and no one else, are fairly recent and show you as you are. More about what you like to do, vanilla-wise - also good. Getting involved in your local kink community is a good way to meet real, flesh-and-blood people, get yourself known, and, potentially, meet that special someone with whom you can explore relationship. If you intend to pursue any Ladies, online, behave like a person and treat her like a person. Make your intended feel special. Tailor your first contact to reflect that you have an interest in her and what interests her. Read profiles and do what they tell you. There's more. But, this message is getting long and I have work to do, elsewhere. Good luck to you! QR

DarkSteven -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/18/2012 6:34:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: QueenRah Actually, Steven, what women love to read is, "I like listening." [insert another wink, here] QR Sorry, Queen Rah, I missed that. Could you say that again? [8D]

theRose4U -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/18/2012 7:44:48 AM)
Agree with Stevan on a number of points...useful, intelligent & thinking with brain above your shoulders would be a new thing & thus a commodity. Biggest & hardest thing for males (not just subs) to grasp is we ARE NOT kink delivery systems & acting like that is the case, is the fastest way to piss us off!! Local munch is a great idea. Stylish conservative dress...no leather or latex. Think dressing for a really hot first date. As for online...uhh we're right here!! FetLife may also have links of events close to you

VioletViolence -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/18/2012 10:25:12 PM)
Not sure if we're allowed to link to other sites here, but one website that I know of that's geared specifically towards FLR's and seems to actually have real women on it is www.aboutflr.com I enjoy the site because it's not a porno-esque version of what a FLR or D/s relationship is like. Hope this helps :)

RumpusParable -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/19/2012 2:50:47 AM)
Oh god, I just signed up for aboutflr.com and cannot find out how to cancel my account! What a HORRIBLE SITE! "This site is about females leading loving relationships... Using things like chastity and controlling his behavior, being kinky is fine BUT FEMDOM IS TOTALLY WRONG, PORN IS TOTALLY WRONG, IN TOPICS WE'VE PUT UP ABOUT IT (a major focus of this site, actually) YOU WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT WOMEN BEING DOMINANT OR YOU WILL BE LABELED AS SOMEONE OBSESSED WITH FANTASY AND PRON AND NOT REALLY INTO FEMALE LED RELATIONSHIPS AND BE CHASTISED FOR BRINGING THAT WOMAN-HATING STUFF UP!!!!111!1!1!1!1!1!1". Apparently I'm not in a REAL female led relationship with my husband because I consider myself dominant and him submissive, I don't put him in chastity or deny him porn. I'm one of those filthy, evil, relationship-ruining FemDoms.

VioletViolence -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/19/2012 11:00:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RumpusParable Oh god, I just signed up for aboutflr.com and cannot find out how to cancel my account! What a HORRIBLE SITE! "This site is about females leading loving relationships... Using things like chastity and controlling his behavior, being kinky is fine BUT FEMDOM IS TOTALLY WRONG, PORN IS TOTALLY WRONG, IN TOPICS WE'VE PUT UP ABOUT IT (a major focus of this site, actually) YOU WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT WOMEN BEING DOMINANT OR YOU WILL BE LABELED AS SOMEONE OBSESSED WITH FANTASY AND PRON AND NOT REALLY INTO FEMALE LED RELATIONSHIPS AND BE CHASTISED FOR BRINGING THAT WOMAN-HATING STUFF UP!!!!111!1!1!1!1!1!1". Apparently I'm not in a REAL female led relationship with my husband because I consider myself dominant and him submissive, I don't put him in chastity or deny him porn. I'm one of those filthy, evil, relationship-ruining FemDoms. Really? I guess I haven't dug into the site enough, shame on me! So disappointing they're taking that attitude :(

SimplyMichael -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/19/2012 11:36:53 AM)
As someone who prefers the company of "real" female dominants, its been my experience,that the problem is a lack of decent, grounded, squared away male submissives. They tend to not want a worm, they want someone who they are proud to accompany them,in public, someone,who,is capable of creating a comfortable life together. Am I wrong Ladies?

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/19/2012 5:00:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub1717 Hello all. I have been into this lifestyle for going on 10 years and while I have had some fun times with dominant women I have never been able to achieve my ultimate goal of a long-term relationship. I realize that it is a lot harder than finding a "vanilla" partner but does anybody have any advice or websites that deal with just FLR's? I have found this site to have a lot of Fin Dommes and Professional dommes but not so much for long-term. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. (I actually don't know what you're asking).

MissToYouRedux -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/19/2012 5:38:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael As someone who prefers the company of "real" female dominants, its been my experience,that the problem is a lack of decent, grounded, squared away male submissives... I actually don't think there's a lack of decent grounded squared away male submissives. The problem is more that there are so manyothers that one has to wade through to get to them. Or maybe I just have phenomenal luck and great discernment. [;)]

CntryCouple -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/21/2012 8:38:48 AM)
There are other sites out there specifically geared toward FLR whether you agree with the site or not, they are available. Read them and take what you like, leave the rest, just the same as you do with this site. In one search I found 3 > http://www.she-makes-the-rules.com/ She Makes The Rules http://atherfeet.myfastforum.org/index.php At Her Feet http://www.mensubmit.com/ Men Submit

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/21/2012 12:35:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub1717 Hello all. I have been into this lifestyle for going on 10 years and while I have had some fun times with dominant women I have never been able to achieve my ultimate goal of a long-term relationship. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Yes, it is hard! Met many Great Ladies and interacted with a few more. But ... the "dating pool" is smaller ... and even if you connect .. distance, as well as current life situation(s), can ultimately mean 'no go" ... So good luck! I have been trying for ten years .. too! [;)] Know you are not alone.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/21/2012 4:54:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub1717 Hello all. I have been into this lifestyle for going on 10 years and while I have had some fun times with dominant women I have never been able to achieve my ultimate goal of a long-term relationship. I realize that it is a lot harder than finding a "vanilla" partner but does anybody have any advice or websites that deal with just FLR's? I have found this site to have a lot of Fin Dommes and Professional dommes but not so much for long-term. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Bud...you seem sincere....I appreciate your post. Here's how it works: I've found some fabulous women on this site, one whom I would give the world to but, we can't find common ground. 1) You're young so, you probably have some preconceived notions of beauty. Lemme tell you something prescient: Beauty is where you find it and...beauty is a wonderful thing but....if you find it, don't hold on to preconceived notions. The most UNBELIEVABLE woman I ever met wouldn't meet anyone's assumptions of what would grace Penthouse or Playboy....but to me, she's the sexiest gawdamned thing that ever walked on two legs. Still is, always will be. (And she pisses me off daily....we live 3,000 miles apart, spent numerous times together and, we'll likely never live under one roof, even as I've loved her for more than a decade and will go to my grave enamoured). 2) You need to find what you're looking for but be aware....what you're looking for may NOT be what you find and....what you find may take your breath away. Be prepared for anything. 3) Shit happens....and, shit happens when you least expect it. (See #2). 4) That's about it.

PrincessDonna11 -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/21/2012 6:26:49 PM)
I agree that a relationship shouldnt be harder to find then vanilla.....honesty is the foundation....

sub1717 -> RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship (11/25/2012 10:34:44 AM)
Thank you everybody. Much appreciated.

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