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Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic Myth - 11/18/2012 1:45:32 PM   
DakaDom


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Improve your Sex Life and Your Relationships – Discover Your PEM (Personal Erotic Myth)! Take the link to the PEM Survey

A PEM contains the fantasy imagery, story-lines, mythic personas and actions, that drives a person that has a PEM to orgasm, or other deep erotic states. It is often expressed in fetish, kink and D/s-BDSM oriented sex. Some people are quite aware of their PEM, and may have caught glimpses of it, or more , well before puberty…even if they have yet to share it with another. Some may have already crossed the threshold of secrecy to engage the desire itself. Some will have multiple PEM’s that ebb and flow in their sex life. For many others, it is still an unconscious but compelling force, just below acknowleged awareness, that drives their sexual desire. It is the aspect of their Eros that they have not looked at, or engaged in consciously. But during sex, in the moments right before orgasm, it can flood into the body in wild, fierce gestures, accompanied by profane, blasphemous invectives (sound-bytes from the PEM) . If you are curious, and ready to discover more about your PEM take the Personal Erotic Myth Research Survey below.Completing the Survey may help you shed more light on your own desires, and be able to better consider how to engage them consciously in your life. Please allow about 15 minutes to complete

After completing the survey you may opt-in to see the results as the data gets compiled. You are welcome to share a link to this page within your own networks. I would be grateful if you did! If you are a blogger or write for other media, you are welcome to quote this article, or contact me for an interview.

Personal Erotic Myth Survey
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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 2:37:58 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It's considered appropriate to explain that you're doing this for a school project and to post links to the supervising professor. Most people don't like to be unwitting lab rats.

And we get people claiming that there's a link between abuse and bottoming every day of the week. Which there isn't. One in six women have been abused, that ratio is the same here. Only difference is that here most of us are more open about sharing it.

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 3:11:43 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Opt in??? Who are you? What training do you have? Isn't this an advertisement? This reminds me of Scientology. Take this test, opt in and pay us for your counseling and advancement. Only rather than to make it to clear... you are working the bdsm and sexual aspects for what was it? $75-100. per hour? I failed to mention the two books you have for sale. Fifty shades of real... ROFL! The sharp edge of love...

Did you used to sell cars?

< Message edited by Lockit -- 11/18/2012 3:17:41 PM >

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 3:22:37 PM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		My dad used to sell cars and he was damn good at it.

Anyway I took the test, and found it intriguing.

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 3:24:26 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		ROFLMAO!

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 5:26:20 PM   
MstSebastian


Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline 		If you are doing this for a graduate project, a thesis in particular, then I am assuming you went through IRB approval. Did the IRB really approve you to set up account on Fetish based sites and advertise your survey here? Also, if this is truly for a thesis, then I, personally, would feel more comfortable taking the survey if I knew the name of the institution you are affiliated with and the name of your thesis committee chair and/or adviser.

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 8:44:56 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstSebastian

<snip> I, personally, would feel more comfortable taking the survey if I knew the name of the institution you are affiliated with and the name of your thesis committee chair and/or adviser.


Mebbe it's the mysterious "Sydney University" we're all warned about!!

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 9:08:49 PM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline 		A census taker tried to ask me questions once. I ate her liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

I read the test and decided to answer with whatever the first answer was. The 'researcher' has already decided what answers are being looked for.

"I believe that upwards of 25% of the population has an inherent fetish-driven sexual nature,"

To the test taker:
You have decided that before giving out the survey? Before you have the data? Now this test is being given out at a fetish-centric website?

Your questions also make several assumptions that may not be true. I, for one, rarely speak during the actual sex act. Very few of your questions, and indeed your entire thesis, do not apply to me. It sounds to me like you are looking for script suggestions for a pornographic film.

Your statistics will be horribly skewed; you have a biased sample. Your project has already failed the tests for an unbiased sample population.; especially when you consider that fetishists are more likely to share their fantasies with strangers.*

What would make your case stronger is to add a section where you asked how the respondent reached your survey.

This is assuming that you are actually a student trying to do real research. The test reads to me like someone trying to smoke out child molesters amongst kinky people - with the assumption that we are more likely to be amongst their numbers than other people are. That is highly offensive, but understandable mis-preconception.

To everyone else:
My answers to the survey (false) had a tag that states you should remove it from the data set. The promised "Discover your PEM" didn't give any information. It just left a form to leave a comment (if you want to give personal information - like your email address.) I declined to give any further information - not that I gave any in the first place.

* That last statement is based on assumption and anecdotal evidence rather than actual research.

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 9:23:24 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		I don't have to participate in this to answer it.

I have a very wide and vivid imagination. It encompasses more than I am likely capable of, but then fantasy has no boundaries inherently. That said, I would never be able to indulge in every single iota of fantasy my mind might conjure up; and so grounded by reality, I discover that I am more content with what's in front of my eyes, than the basement of my head.

Anyone who wants to visit that basement is welcome, but if you don't have the fortitude to handle what the human mind can conceive of, you shouldn't ask. It's more fun for me to visit other basements - check the pipes, draw lines in the dust, maybe move some of the tarps to see what lies below.

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 10:45:15 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Fast reply

I didn't do this survey, because I don't see what I can learn from it. I'm not sure how I can 'discover' my PEM through the survey when the survey basically asks me to close my eyes and describe it and then tell you whether or not it counts. Heck, if I knew that, why take the survey?

I'd have been more inclined to join in if it were phrased as a request for help.

I think human sexuality is a fascinating subject for study and I'm interested in new research, but I think you've just shot yourself in the foot by posting here. We're a self-selecting group. Saying '25% of people are kinky, though I think it might be more' then conducting your survey in a place that only kinky people go, is like saying '95% of adults are interested in yatchs, according to the survey I carried out in the local sailing club.' How are you going to compensate for this bias? Your results are going to be severely skewed.

Also the question about when you felt ready to start having sex was damn creepy. '4-7' was one of the age categories. There's a paper to be written debating that question alone.

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Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 11:28:09 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		This "survey" wouldnt get a C in a high school statistics class. you dont tell people what you are trying to measure, it biases the results.

Oh and Sydney University is real, the warning is bogus. They did an amazing phone survey in Australia that was sex positive and showed kink.people are slightly.more emotionally grounded than vanilla...

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/18/2012 11:56:03 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		He's apparently trying to sell his "services".

http://kinkemagazine.com/issue/august-issue/article/dakadom-bdsm-a-constant-learning-experience

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/19/2012 12:17:58 AM   
MstSebastian


Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

He's apparently trying to sell his "services".

http://kinkemagazine.com/issue/august-issue/article/dakadom-bdsm-a-constant-learning-experience

Oh dear God! "Erotic Wilderness Guide"?!

Seriously, that article reads like a first-year psychology student who glommed on to obscure psychological theories and now thinks he has the world figured out.

_____________________________

The greatest gift a person can give is the gift of their willing submission. It is a gift more precious than gold and more fragile than glass. It is my responsibility to make sure that, every day, I am worthy of that gift.

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/19/2012 12:37:01 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Why have the Mods allowed this type of spam to remain on the General board?


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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/19/2012 12:41:25 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm thinking they are busy with the holidays coming up or just personal stuff? I see it being removed or moved by tomorrow though.

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/19/2012 12:52:42 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I tried taking it when I saw the link on Fetlife.... Only to find that I apparently don't fit into the preconceived assumptions clear in the questions. I couldn't answer many of them as they simply didn't apply or didn't make sense...

...for example, one (which led to several follow-up questions) was about at what age did you feel okay with sharing your secret desire with a partner and then listed "never" and age brackets.

Well how the heck are you supposed to answer that if you never HAD a "secret desire" that you waited until some age to share with a partner? I've had a LOT of desires, but none have been a secret. Whenever a desire came up I shared it.

So what? I can't answer with a age bracket because it doesn't apply. And I got the distinct feeling from the phrasing of that (and the others) question that an answer of "never" would be taken as "I've never told anyone".

It asks about kink interests... But it assumes they're all sexually linked. It's also assumed that if any of your kinks *are* sexual, that you fantasize about them during sexual acts, like masturbation. When I was a teen I fantasized, but now when I have sex/masturbation I don't.

There is no "unconscious, buried fantasy that only bursts upon me at the moment of orgasm" or such. When I'm having sex or masturbating, I've only got one thought when reaching climax: the physical feelings I'm feeling. Nothing else, totally just focusing on the sensations so that I can come. If I think about anything specific I can't orgasm, I have to concentrate on my body's responses to clitoral stimulus.

But yeah, those are just things that spring to mind looking back on the questions themselves. It was pretty clear from the opening description and phrasing of the survey that the researcher had skewed things based on their preconceptions and desired results.

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I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/19/2012 12:58:07 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Oh, reading other people's responses here brought up another ambiguous question:

The one about "when did you feel comfortable having sex..." one.

Should that be answered as when we actually felt comfortable having sex or at what age we started having sex? Because those two things aren't the same.

I felt comfortable with having sex for a couple years before I actually went out and had it.

Some people aren't comfortable having sex years after they started having it.

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/19/2012 1:08:52 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		i took a peep at the article earlier, and i chose not to fill it out. too many of the questions, in my opinion, assume that there's shame and stigma attached to sexual fantasies. i'll pass.

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/19/2012 10:22:15 AM   
SpyUnderCover


Posts: 208
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline
I have no idea how legitimate the OP's survey is, but if you are interested in learning more about how your sense of the erotic developed The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin is a great read. As I recall, Morin doesn't have a "quiz" per se, but does ask the reader questions that help uncover what he calls your CET: core erotic theme. It's worth buying if you want insight into that part of yourself.

Spy

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RE: Is your Desire compelled by a PEM - Personal Erotic... - 11/19/2012 10:29:33 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Why have the Mods allowed this type of spam to remain on the General board?



No one reported it. I have done so.


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