onceshattered
Posts: 117
Joined: 7/30/2012
Status: offline
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Sometimes, you find yourself in a situation where you need to share. The need to tell someone - anyone, just how happy and content you are is so overwhelming that you just might burst. I don't want to brag or show off... that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I feel like I'm so lucky and I just don't have anyone else that I can safely tell. I want people to know that YES! It is possible to find a good one here on CM amongst the one liners and cock-shots. so here goes....
He first messaged me on CM in August, a very polite very sweet message. I had had enough of the one liners that I almost didn't reply, but it was so sweet I needed to at least thank him for writing. We exchanged mails for quite some time, eventually moving to phone conversations. Our chemistry on the phone was obvious and we finally set up a meeting. Being that I have this "social anxiety" issue, I was scared. Very Very scared. But I went anyway. I was trying to move out of my comfort zone and he was my first step at a new and improved "ME".
Now I know that I could have gotten into a lot of trouble. I was driving quite a distance from home to meet with a stranger with whom my only real contact had been on the phone. But there was just something about him. I sat there in Dunkin' Donuts and as he puts it...."looked scared as hell." I laugh at it now... but at the time I really was. We both had our expectations for this meeting, and both of our expectations were far exceeded.
The relationship has grown beyond what I could have ever imagined. I learn from him, I burrow into his chest and cry for him (he loves this part), I accept all that gives to me. I realize that though I had the theory in my head, I never really understood what it meant to be involved in this kind of dynamic. Call it what you will... D/s, M/s, S & M... these letters can't even begin to label us and those that said I "need real life, face to face experience.." GOD YOU WERE ALL SOOOO RIGHT!
I still have a long long way to go in getting to be the woman I know I can be but because of his love.. because of his presence in my life, I am more confident at this moment than I have ever been in my entire life. I thank him for that every day. And I want to thank all of you that pushed me to go out and take that "first step."
So yes, this has been a positive experience! Posted below are his words...
"O.S. is a woman of stunning complexity housed in a delightful shell of innocence and almost child-like wonder and joy. Her need for pain is real, constantly increasing, and is becoming a source of pride and accomplishment for her. She has a keen mind and is extremely self aware. O.S. is able to see herself through a prism, and like a prism projects a different image every time the angle of view is altered even slightly.
She posses the rare ability to imagine herself in pain; to imagine her breasts being beaten, her arms restrained, her clit stimulated. To hold her in one’s arms and talk softly to her of the belt, the clamps, the cutting, the orgasm, and watch her turn the words into actual whimpers and orgasm is astonishing and humbling. Easy to say she is faking and role playing; I have seen faked orgasms, faked shudders, faked toe curls. I have never in almost 40 years of sadism seen a woman able to fake a chest flush as she comes.
She has a deep seated need to please, an even deeper fear of disappointing, and both the mental and sexual skills to accomplish the first and almost never risk the second.
This is a woman teetering on the edge of constant self-doubt, held back from the precipice by the thinnest of threads of a phenomenal ability to orgasm through the skilled administration of pain. She is not for the light of heart; the pain she needs to trigger is real, the impact she needs is bone-jarring, and her need to push her limits ever further may well lead to broken skin and blood play at the hands of a very skilled practitioner.
She has a need to trust tempered by the experiences of trust misplaced. This is not a woman for a beginning sadist or the “dom” who wants to spank while he is being blown. This woman needs, and responds best, to the mental control and suggestive sadism that gives her the very best of both worlds, pain and orgasm without actual touch.
This is a princess of pain, and a truly nice woman with real human value as well.
It is with pride and honor that I call her mine, and congratulate myself on finding the gem of her personality amongst the mud of her outer issues. I look forward to showing her how to break open her shell through pain and see the inner beauty in a woman she considers flawed, as a rock collector treasures the humble geode, dirty and flawed on the outside and a glistening diorama of beauty inside."
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Positive? Absolutely.... - 
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