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ORIGINAL: ToyNextDoor
Oh, we've brought it up casually several times in the past year. Basically she says 'be patient, you'll be rewarded. Don't take for granted i'm sharing my vulnerable side. Things will be different when we're together, so don't get too comfortable'. And I do feel that her reassurances are true. But we both hate topping from the bottom so I guess time will tell how she adjusts. I'm not going to push, that's selfish and as long as she's happy I'm happy. I know things will be great no matter what we're doing, but I guess I've just never been in what I would consider a long term, adult relationship before. Most of what I observe seems negative. Dead feelings, passion turning into stagnancy and loathing. I don't like being pessimistic but the idea of something long term does bring up a lot of questions for me- That and having a really unnatural beginning to things. I've been in many D/s relationships and until now none of them have been a good enough match to see how things progress.

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ORIGINAL: ToyNextDoor

Those who have been in relationships for multiple years, has closeness taken away the excitement or made it hard to be consistent in your role?

My situation- I've been planning to live with a friend of mine who has been staying in another country. She'd move back with me. The past year we have been very close and I've been as supportive as I can while she's had a stressful slituation. It feels more like I am best friend or the supportive man now instead of the pet. I'm wondering if when she's back it will be difficult to switch back into.. that distant state where she's this deity. I don't feel this fear driving me to appease her anymore. She's not really demanding or imposing lately, I think she needs more of a best friend. We've both agreed we want to keep our roles clear when we live together, but it feels like the 'husband' side is pushing the sub side out of the way. Will it feel like we're suddenly just acting if we switch stronger into our roles again or will it be natural? I couldn't enjoy it the same if I felt like she was just acting hard on me to earn my respect or satisfy me. I like serving someone who is naturally a little bossy and self centered but seeing the vulnerable side and being best friends for a year seems so different than what I remember. It feels like the challenge is gone and everything's sort of been put on the backburner, aside from a few stray comments through the day and how we address each other, we rarely acknowledge that side of things. I feel like I could get away with a lot that I didn't used to, but it's selfish to expect someone to be tough on me when they have a lot on their plate.

Any comments or advice?

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ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

I don't think i agree with the phrase "you can't keep your roles clear".

I was in an extended live-in relationship and our roles were very clear. And if i stepped over the line, i was jerked back.
There were rules - not that many - and my Sir was aware of how i was behaving. And for the record, it may have looked as if we were "in roles", but I didn't see it as a role, it was just how i lived my life.

OP, i'm thinking you need to stop thinking of roles and think of what is real for you. If you are submissive then the role would be for you to be a chest thumping macho man. Real for you might be a chest thumping macho man who defers to a woman.