No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why fake being a financial slave?

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No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why fake ... - 11/21/2012 1:55:02 AM

ThePrincessKali

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Joined: 9/19/2012
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I will preface this by saying I am a financial Domme. Yes I know most of you think I'm a horrible person and lazy and I should die. To those of you out there don't bother responding. You're posts will be deleted by support and I don't care. This is not a complaint or a rant but a genuine question. To all of the "subs" (I say it in quotes bc I'm convinced people who do this aren't real subs) fake being money slaves. What is the appeal? Especially on a site like this where there are so many people indulging in different fetishes without any money being exchanges. Are there not any female domme's who are willing to indulge you for free? I get that there are some fin domme's who are very cruel and into a lot of humiliation. And so some subs fake being a money sub so they will humiliate them for free. But why just message a fin Domme and say to want to be a money slave with no intention of doing it. Or exchange messages and emails for a long time when you really don't plan on following through? Isn't the excitement of it actually being a money slave? So then why fake it? Are these people just Doms in disguise who really get off and taking advantage of women? Is there a sexual trill from just having an extremely basic non fetish conversation? Do they just have nothing better to do with their time? I'm genuinely trying to understand so please if you have insight let me know.

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RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 2:09:42 AM

freedomdwarf1

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Regardless of all the very specific fin-domme questions, the basic question covers them all -

Why does anyone lie on fetish and dating sites at all???

There are many many reasons and not just for fin dommes.
I suspect for most of them they are not very successful as a person so they try to hide behind a facade.
It's so easy to do these days and a site like CM doesn't really care about these liars or the fakes - all they want is to see membership numbers.

The only thing you can do is to sound them out by talking to them and weeding out the liars just like anyone else has to do.

(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

Post #: 2

RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 2:15:14 AM

ThePrincessKali

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That makes sense. I suppose it's just frustrating because I'm always very honest and I never mislead anyone so it's just frustrating to be lied to do frequently. I guess I figured if I understood the psychology behind it, it would make more sense or something.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 3

RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 2:21:19 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Have you ever spent any time talking with a professional Dominant? Any of them will tell you that they get their share of voyeurs, tourists, drive by's, curious folks, and flat out time wasters. Do you really think that every potential client that contacts a pro honestly follows through?

Same thing. You have to think these things through.

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(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

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RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 2:33:20 AM

freedomdwarf1

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I don't think there's much psychology behind it. lol.

I think it's quite simple.
If they told the truth about who and what they are, they aren't likely to catch their intended 'victim'.
They aren't intelligent enough to make what they have sound any good so they quite simply lie about it all.
They invent a whole scenario and a persona to fit in it and play the scene for all it's worth.
I would also imagine that some actually do just for the kicks of leading people on.

I wonder how many girls are finding guys with the wrong pic on the profile? They see a 20's rippling 6-pack only to find it's an old man using their pics as wank-fodder.
Then we get the big-tittied teen list as USA or UK who turns out to be 30-something and lives in Nigeria, Cameroon or the Philipines and looking for a meal-ticket out of there.
Or you chat with the most amiable lady that seems to fit your dreams only to find out it's GUY - usually a TS/TG/TV/XD who has deliberately registered as a female.

It's par for the course no matter what site you use.
Sifting out the wheat from the chaff is always a big task.

(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

Post #: 5

RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 2:57:49 AM

ThePrincessKali

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freedomdwarf1 thank you for your insight.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

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RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 3:38:39 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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There are lots of reasons people will start the process and then not follow through.

-They are just curious and want to see how these things work
-They want to do it but get scared
-They just want a session with a domme but don't want to pay for it. They hope they will be the exception
-Just talking about becoming a money slave is enough to get them off, which is all they want for now. Once they have cum, the desire subsides
-They want to do it but can't find a way that their partner won't find out
-They like to waste people's time online
-They like the idea of being a money slave, but not quite enough to actually part with their money
-They get a real-life partner or find a different findomme who suits them better, and so no longer want you

I'm afraid it's an occupational hazard.

No there aren't many non-financial dommes up for online submission and especially not when subs are looking for just sexy time, so you will get people contacting you who aren't into money exchange, but don't have other options. I dare say those who don't actually fetishize handing over the money are more likely to lose interest.

It's unlikely they are doms in disguise, and I'm not sure they are really taking advantage if you're just having basic, non-fetish conversation and then not going any further. That's like me going to a car showroom and chatting about their offers but choosing not to buy, or having coffee with a guy but deciding not to start dating him - not taking advantage, just seeing what's on offer.

Though some people really do have nothing better to do. And yep, for some people just contacting you might be enough of a thrill, even if you say nothing dirty. If someone has fantasised about seeing a domme for years and never plucked up the courage, even exchanging an email or two might just feel oh-so-naughty and exciting.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

Post #: 7

RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 4:40:43 AM

ThePrincessKali

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Joined: 9/19/2012
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Athena,

Sorry I should of clarified. I didn't mean just having one conversation getting to know each other. I wouldn't expect anyone would commit to being a financial slave without knowing anything about me and I have no problem with that. It's the ones who message saying, "Please please I beg of you let me serve you. blah blah blah" and I converse with them for a while. I won't do "fetish talk" but I will tell them what I expect of slaves and what not. They will continue to talk with me many times and make up something about why they can't give money today but they can in a few days blah blah just to keep me responding to them. I can't imagine getting that much excitment from a just talking to someone. I suppose I feel taken advantage of when I go on webcam for a second to verify I'm real or send a face photo because I think they are being genuine and they arent. I had one go as far as to put items from my amazon wishlist in his shopping cart but never actually purchased them so it shows up they have been purchased to me. I then agreed to participate in a couple humiliation sessions with him because he would keep putting items in his shopping cart so I thought that those gifts were my compensation. After a week and none had arrived I called amazon and they said none had actually been purchased. When I called and confronted him he told me he knew name real name from amazon and blah blah and threatened me. These are the instances I feel taken advantage of. I have since wised up but I guess I just don't get it.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 8

RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 7:24:33 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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Joined: 3/15/2012
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Well it sounds like you found someone who found a way round your conditions. Yep, it's scummy. But surely you can understand his motivations? He wanted to get off and not pay for it. He may have also enjoyed messing with you, or it may just be that he didn't care how you felt. Unfortunately if you are in the business of taking material compensation for human interaction, some people will not think of you as a person but will think of you in the same way they think of other things they spend their money on. Everyone wants something for nothing. A lot of people download movies illegally, because people don't like shelling out money and justify it to themselves. I'm sure he didn't want to shell out for his humiliation session and justified it in some way in his mind. Possible in the less-than-flattering terms SimplyMichael used. I'm not saying he was right to cheat you, but I don't think it's hard to understand his thought processes.

As for the other people - I stand by my earlier statements. Yes, for some people just sending the 'plz abuse this lowly worm' message to you will be thrilling enough. Others will be really intending to go through with it at the time they send that message but lose the desire once they jerk off. Yet more will be considering going through with it and discuss it with you, but then decide you are not the one, or their wife comes home, or the washing machine breaks and their money has to go elsewhere. They won't explain to you because they don't care/they see you as a purchase not a person/they are ashamed/it's the internet and that's how it goes.

Just part of the game I'm afraid. If it bothers you, then maybe this isn't for you.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

Post #: 9

RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 7:31:19 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

To the OP. First and foremost, support will not delete posts that you don't like unless they violate TOS.
Tough cookies. This isn't FET.
Secondly. Your fetish is making guys pay you to abuse them. Ok, fine. Have you ever thought that there are guys out there who have a fetish of scamming Findoms? I bet you do now because you've apparently met at least one.
Some people get off on "Scamming the scammer" It's a chess match and it looks like you lost a round.
Learn from it.

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(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

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RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 7:32:01 AM

mnottertail

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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They get some play of some type, right up until the boots hit the ground.

Several reasons for it:

Some just like to fuck with you and keep you strung along thinking you get your payoff, and taking your time away from the actual golddigging.

It is simply their kink.

They are filled with velleity and cannot consummate the deal, one for the shame, or two because they have neither the desire nor a pot to piss in or window to throw it out of.

I could cant on and on about the number of real women (forget all the fakesters) who are consumed with velleity, and ultimately are timewasters, but most women call that flirting and think it very proper and innocent and truthful.

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/21/2012 7:34:31 AM >

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(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

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RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 8:17:44 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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OP - maybe some other Pro or Fin Dommes will come on and explain how they deal with tire kicking clients. I believe this has been discussed in previous threads, but there are too many Fin Domme threads for my to be able to find the right one for you. Try the one started by Rochsub though.

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(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

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RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 9:25:05 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
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Hmmm.

IN the line of work you are in, you will attract alot of scum or people bigoted against what you do. THey will play with you for the fun of it or they might want to actually send you money, but they forgot it takes work to make money. Or there are the nasty pervs, who could and will yank to even the thought a real woman might talk to them, so no need for payment, a text will work or an email.
Goes with the territory. I would say you would have to go through tons of bites to actually get a real fish.
Better toughen up or change professions.

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(in reply to kalikshama)

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RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 9:42:59 AM

poise

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Joined: 7/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali

Athena,
I wouldn't expect anyone would commit to being a financial slave without knowing anything about me and I have
no problem with that.

They will continue to talk with me many times and make up something about why they can't give money today
but they can in a few days blah blah just to keep me responding to them.

Make up your mind. Either you will give them time to get to know you, as stated in your first sentence, or you won't talk
to anyone without the promise of compensation, which is the scenario you describe in your second sentence.

And since you don't expect anyone to commit right out of the starting gate, maybe they've spent sufficient amount of
time with you and determined they don't like you enough to commit? How can that possibly be criteria for calling them fake?

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

Post #: 14

RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 11:22:56 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

I find this entire question baffling. A little disclaimer up front... I don't draw fine lines between "sexuality" and "sex". I get it that you're not exchanging bodily fluids.

You are selling sex for money.
They want some sex and don't want to spend money.

There is a competition between you two automatically... you want to get the most money you can for the least product delivery and they want to get the most product for the least money. You'd be pretty cool if they'd just send you the money with no requirement to do anything on your part. They'd be pretty cool if you got their rocks off and they didn't need to send you any money. It's a business thing. How can this not be obvious? Did you actually believe that these guys all get off on giving you money for phone sex? Really?

Insofar as tire kickers, I just talked to 3 insurance salesmen last week. I didn't buy any policies although I think I will this week. Does that strike you as odd somehow? Am I a fake insurance client?

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(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

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RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 11:32:47 AM

DomMeinCT

Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
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My 3 cents:

- I think some people like to push the envelope and see how far they can get something for free.

- Good and bad, there are very few repercussions for someone who interacts with others on the internet.

- Opportunists are everywhere.

< Message edited by DomMeinCT -- 11/21/2012 11:33:24 AM >

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
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(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

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RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 2:46:50 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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Not to sound flip: But for the same reason that most Financial Dommes fake being Domme.

Because someone somewhere will fall for it.

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RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 5:01:45 PM

rhymeswithcupid

Posts: 52
Joined: 6/2/2012
Status: offline

Might I suggest peddling your wares on a legitimate adult industry website?

Niteflirt and Talk Sugar come to mind. Both sites are designed so men WILL pay for your time. Both sites have categories specifically for Financial Domination where men who actually truly do want to spend their money on you will be seeking and contacting you. Yes, you'll pay a portion of your earnings to use their site and you'll be reported for tax purposes but you'll waste a lot less time and fewer people will be inclined to resent you for wasting theirs.

I'm sorry but Collarme is a social kink site and as someone who has worked in the adult industry herself, I have little respect for women who are too cheap to actually pay for the privilege of running their business.

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(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

Post #: 18

RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/21/2012 7:13:19 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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You are trying to sell yourself and your services on a website that charges neither you nor your potential whatever it is you call your target to participate. You shouldnt be surprised that that there are flakes out there who just arent wanting to buy what you are selling, you honestly should have expected it from the start.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 11/21/2012 7:14:26 PM >

(in reply to ThePrincessKali)

Post #: 19

RE: No this is not a rant but a genuine question. Why f... - 11/23/2012 11:40:55 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

Might I suggest peddling your wares on a legitimate adult industry website?

Niteflirt and Talk Sugar come to mind. Both sites are designed so men WILL pay for your time. Both sites have categories specifically for Financial Domination where men who actually truly do want to spend their money on you will be seeking and contacting you. Yes, you'll pay a portion of your earnings to use their site and you'll be reported for tax purposes but you'll waste a lot less time and fewer people will be inclined to resent you for wasting theirs.

I'm sorry but Collarme is a social kink site and as someone who has worked in the adult industry herself, I have little respect for women who are too cheap to actually pay for the privilege of running their business.

This seems like very good advice.

OP - do a search for other posts that mention "Niteflirt."

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(in reply to rhymeswithcupid)

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