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TieMeInKnottss -> RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term monogamous dom) (11/24/2012 7:23:27 AM)
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I am pretty new to this world but being a lot older, I feel compelled to just say...be careful. As someone on here told me when I first posted (& it sticks with me daily & I wish I remembered who said it), "dominant doesn't mean decent". In my years, I have found, in both the vanilla and the kinky world, strength attracts strength. The best men are usually not interested in someone who expects them to fix them nor someone who seems to want ANYONE (& I am not talking sex, I mean they know that a woman who becomes quickly & easily emotionally attached is not interested in them & they value themselves enough to not get involved with such women).... This is my two cents & you may want to ignore me...but I see some of my 18 yr old self here. I have honestly (unlike many people here) met a LOT of decent doms on here-not as partners but as friends. I find the ones who are the best always comment on the fact that I am an independent & responsible sub. This means that I know my life is good without being owned, that I WANT to be owned but not by just anyone but someone who will value me. They see that I recognize I am responsible for my own happiness & well-being & that means I am going to keep him happy and safe. Dom/sub is two sides of the same coin, no good Dom will think or want to fix you & PLEASE beware of anyone who thinks otherwise. A good Dom will protect you, lead you, teach you but he will also have high expectations of you. He will demand submission (not immediately but as part of your partnership & it is a PARTNERSHIP), loyalty and most importantly, trust, but he is, in his own way GIVING you the same. He will be loyal to you & not tell you what you want to hear so you have sex with him, he will expect you to know your limits & stop him from going too far (he will push you but not BREAK you). He trusts you to protect him too.
(Sigh) You may have not even read this far but I hope I don't sound preachy because I really don't feel qualified to preach to others because I have made so many of the same mistakes. Maybe I am just projecting my own history on to you & you will be fine. Just please be careful, you have so many years ahead of you... Go to the "ask a sub" area & read what some of these women (myself included) have experienced. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
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