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Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 9:59:13 AM   
johnnywacks


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline 		Okay, about a year ago I was in a BDSM club, talking to a nice young woman, mostly about her hookup experiences in the NYC BDSM scene and in the middle of the conversation I uttered these words: "somebody needs to be telling these stories.  Nobody is really telling them."   Fast forward a year and I find myself totally entranced by the number of real-life stories that I have come across that all very compelling and interesting.

A few things first.
1) I'm not writing porn or erotica.  There is no short supply of that.  Feel free to share your erotica if you want, but that's not really the focus I'm looking for.
2) I'm trying to focus on people's real-life experiences.  I'm mostly concerned with the people's ENTIRE life and how their BDSM role or other kink is integrated.  The conflicts, the fear, all the stupid mistakes, the weirdos, and the success stories.
3)  Not looking to hookup.  I'm a happily married guy, and my wife knows what I'm up to.  But would love to get together with people to talk in person, over drinks or at a party somewhere.  No pressure.

People I want to talk to, the kind of stories I like to talk about
1) I mostly am interested in how people "decided" or "choice" this sort of lifestyle, whether it's just a bedroom thing or a 24/7 full time lifestyle.  I think that EVERYbody has hard time trying to figure out their own sexuality (it wasn't just me was it?) and I figure having sexual tastes that are not "mainstream" is an additional challenge.  Would love to hear stories from all generations and ages.
2) Would love to talk to people who are in parttime or fulltime 24/7 master/slave relationships.  Especially how those relationships started, and how people balance their BDSM lifestyles with the regular "vanilla" lifestyle all around them.
3) I love hearing about the disaster stories.  The horriblly bad hookups.  The time you asked somebody to tie you up, and they looked at you like you were insane (that wasn't just me was it?).   The first time you shared your desires with somebody and it just didn't go like you wanted. Or that internet hookup that turned really strange.
4) I'm also interested in the accidental discoveries:  People who found out about your lifestyle and how they reacted (both the good and bad ones).   Like going to a club and meeting somebody who you already knew from your "vanilla" life.
5) first time at a club or a party or any other group scene situation.
6) Marriage and kids, and how people balance all that.  The time your teenage son found all those bondage pics of mom.   "why does mom wear that collar all the time?".
7) anything else I can't think of.  Basically the stuff that happened that made you the most embarrassed, excited, thrilled , or just down right laugh out loud.


I'm currently working on a piece of fiction that has a large number of people from the BDSM scene.  My biggest goal is to get all of these voices and stories to be honest, but still be distinct and unique.  I don't want this to by "my" take on the alternative sex scene.  I want it to be a honest and realistic view.  One of my goals is to sort of break down a lot of the mythology and mis-information that people have about the "scene".   

People can post here if they want to share with everyone.  Or they can send me a private message.   I keep all info in the upmost privacy.  


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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 12:25:54 PM   
johnnywacks


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline 		Just to claify a bit, what I'm really looking to do is to interview people.   Can do an interview via chat or phone or face to face if  you are in the NYC or LA area.    I relly just want to get some honest voices and perspectives about people in the "lifestyle".


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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 12:44:59 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline 		I think it would be a great advantage to you to get to know the people on these boards before asking any personal information. 

_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 1:40:28 PM   
johnnywacks


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab

I think it would be a great advantage to you to get to know the people on these boards before asking any personal information. 


I totally agree. 

I have to say, it makes me quite uncomfortable even asking for assistance here.  I'm a pretty private person, and I assume that so are most of the people on the this forum.   I don't want people to think that I am some how using the community for my own gain or something.  That's just not (completely) true.

Just to disclose a bit more: I'm somebody who has been "out" in the community locally for about a year.  And I was a bit "in the closet" for many years before that.  I don't consider myself a "lifestyle" player but I don't consider myself a newbie either. 

I'm also trying to be a public as possible with what I am trying to do, because otherwise I feel MORE like I'm just using people.  I can't be the only person on this forum that is gets disillusioned every time they see a BDSM relationship portrayed in the major media as something that is surrounded with death, crime, and violence.  The odd thing, is that see far LESS crime and violence in the kink community than I do in the VANILLA community. 

I could go ahead and keep writing based what I already know, but what I have so far I can tell it is still very one sided (my own perspective).   I would love to hangout here and meet people in a more natural manner (and hope to do so anyways) but I also have the real world practical issue of deadlines and editors and the real world problem of getting something done on time that's not crap.

I guess I'm hoping that there enough people itching to find SOME outlet to share their own experiences. 

Also: anybody willing to give me an interview is more than welcome to grill me with any personal question about my own life.  Fair is fair.  Trust has to go both ways.

(in reply to Sab)
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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 1:42:37 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		There is plenty of research material available on the boards and on the internet.
 
Otherwise, do what all authors do: use your i-m-a-g-i-n-a-t-i-o-n.

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 1:53:29 PM   
johnnywacks


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

There is plenty of research material available on the boards and on the internet.
 
Otherwise, do what all authors do: use your i-m-a-g-i-n-a-t-i-o-n.


True!  And believe me I've read so much my head is starting to spin.   And imagination is also fully engaged! (I hope..). 

But the best damn inspiration I've gotten so far has been in one-on-one conversations with real people.  You get a small perspective on something that I NEVER would have considered before.   I like to think that it keeps my writing that much  more honest and accessible. 

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 1:57:25 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

Just to disclose a bit more: I'm somebody who has been "out" in the community locally for about a year.  And I was a bit "in the closet" for many years before that.  I don't consider myself a "lifestyle" player but I don't consider myself a newbie either.


Then you have a resourse there - in the very community you are a member of, I ask, 'why ask here'? Surely, those who are inside the community you speak of would also be itching to tell their stories. It is unfortunate in the world of the nilla that this life is seen as the 'odd' one - they are the ones who condone and wish to restrict the freedom of people to do as they wish - we do it by consent ffs.

quote:

I would love to hangout here and meet people in a more natural manner (and hope to do so anyways) but I also have the real world practical issue of deadlines and editors and the real world problem of getting something done on time that's not crap.


You are one of the lucky ones - I have been trying to be published for years - well done and I hope you suceed in your future endevours.


_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 2:01:44 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		I heard this story once about a creative writing teacher who told his students how very important is was to interview people to write true live stories. Next thing he wrote a true live story bestseller.
 
"Hey, teach, how many people did you interview for that book? How many hours did you question the main character?" asked his students.
 
"I didn't interview anyone," he told them bluntly. "I used my imagination." He knew the importance of an interview, but he also knew that imagination is far superior to any information acquired from an interview. Those who can, do. Those who cannot, have to interview.

< Message edited by Rule -- 6/16/2006 2:03:23 PM >

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 2:02:00 PM   
johnnywacks


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab

You are one of the lucky ones - I have been trying to be published for years - well done and I hope you suceed in your future endevours.



I am FAR from published.  There is still a very excellent chance I will remain as frustrated as everybody else. But thanks for the encouragement.  And I AM reaching out locally in real-time also.



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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 2:14:10 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		My suggestion would be to just post your questions here. I'm sure you'll get a variety of responses and opinions on damn near any question you'd like to ask.

Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it, too!

Good luck with your project.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 2:38:08 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johnnywacks
Just to disclose a bit more: I'm somebody who has been "out" in the community locally for about a year.  And I was a bit "in the closet" for many years before that.  I don't consider myself a "lifestyle" player but I don't consider myself a newbie either. 



This should help.  Since you are out in the New York City community, you can get people like Barbara Nitke, Len's Michele, Master Jim and Lolita to vouch for you.  With this kind of support, you shouldn't have trouble getting people to talk.  You see, board like this get a lot of people showing up claiming to "look for material" where in reality they just something to read one-handed.  Of course, this means they aren't known by anyone and can't cite the kind of references anyone in the NYC community can pretty much count on.

It might also help if you listed some of the venues you've queried about publication of these stories.  That way before giving you personal information, people can confirm that the stories are really in the works.


< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 6/16/2006 2:47:16 PM >

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 3:20:36 PM   
johnnywacks


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

This should help.  Since you are out in the New York City community, you can get people like Barbara Nitke, Michele Buchanan, Master Jim and Lolita to vouch for you.  With this kind of support, you shouldn't have trouble getting people to talk.  You see, board like this get a lot of people showing up claiming to "look for material" where in reality they just something to read one-handed.  Of course, this means they aren't known by anyone and can't cite the kind of references anyone in the NYC community can pretty much count on.

It might also help if you listed some of the venues you've queried about publication of these stories.  That way before giving you personal information, people can confirm that the stories are really in the works.




Fair enough.  Unfortunately I don't actually know any of those people (or maybe I do, I'm horrible with names).  I have been a semi-frequent visitor to Paddles, a domsubfriends member (I would have joined TES but I can't make damn mid-week meetings!), and have shown up at a few other BDSM related parties (with my wife also).   But I also know that the entire NYC scene is much bigger than just those places. But I would also (for reasons just like most other people here on the site) leave my actual identity off the site.  Since I'm married, I KNOW my wife wants to keep herself off the internet all together, so I have to respect that.  Although in real-time, face-to-face I am honest and straight forward and tell people my real name, etc.  Hell I'm actually just a damn bit shy if you get right down to it.  I figure if I'm just polite and persistent and honest, it will work itself out.   I FULLY expect people to skeptical about me. I know I would. (Hell, in my midnight moments of self-doubt - I AM skeptical about me).

As for the where the stories will be "sold": I will be hung out to dry and tar and feathered if I say to whom we are trying to sell them to.  It is the unfortunate reality of the business.  I will admit that they are targeted for main stream "vanilla" consumption, by hopefully a decent sized media outlet.   I've gotten positive feedback and encouragement from people who seem to know the industry better than I.  It is a work of fiction.  But my goal is to keep the spirit of my characters adventure based in what is really happening in people's lives today.  But I can't post anything more about it in an online forum like this.  Corner me at a party and get me drunk and then maybe I can tell you more offline. I WILL admit that there is an excellent chance that I will put months and months of work into this and find myself with a totally unwanted pile of paper.  I fully expect to get a lot of people saying things like "amazing stuff, but there is no way I could buy that!".  But I also hoping that at the very least, I will end up meeting lots of very cool people and sharing a lot of great conversations.

< Message edited by johnnywacks -- 6/16/2006 3:23:05 PM >

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 5:24:14 PM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

This should help.  Since you are out in the New York City community, you can get people like Barbara Nitke, Len's Michele, Master Jim and Lolita to vouch for you.  With this kind of support, you shouldn't have trouble getting people to talk.  You see, board like this get a lot of people showing up claiming to "look for material" where in reality they just something to read one-handed.  Of course, this means they aren't known by anyone and can't cite the kind of references anyone in the NYC community can pretty much count on.

It might also help if you listed some of the venues you've queried about publication of these stories.  That way before giving you personal information, people can confirm that the stories are really in the works.



Well hello there again John,

I don't think anyone would or could forget Barbara, Lolita or Master Jim, for that matter! Yet, how sweet of you to refer to Michele as "Len's Michele"! 

Nina (eyeing her specially crafted vampyre gloves)

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 5:34:40 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP
Yet, how sweet of you to refer to Michele as "Len's Michele"! 

Nina (eyeing her specially crafted vampyre gloves)


[smile] It's been a while since his death, but if you look deep into her eyes, his smile is still there.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 5:40:01 PM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline 		Try to get connected with locals.  TesFest is coming up, 4th of July weekend and sounds like it should be quite an event! Don't have to be a member to go.

Day Passes For TES Fest 06 Now Available  

Until then,

Nina 

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 5:46:56 PM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP
Yet, how sweet of you to refer to Michele as "Len's Michele"! 

Nina (eyeing her specially crafted vampyre gloves)


[smile] It's been a while since his death, but if you look deep into her eyes, his smile is still there.


Awweeee, her eyes were always beautiful, as was his smile, I'm glad she is doing well.
Will I see you and Libby at Tesfest this year?

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 7:10:32 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP



Awweeee, her eyes were always beautiful, as was his smile, I'm glad she is doing well.
Will I see you and Libby at Tesfest this year?


Nope, I've retired from vending and lecturing.  From now on, it's the life of a gentleman slacker

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/16/2006 8:38:44 PM   
johnnywacks


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline 		Yes. I wanted ever so much to go to TesFest.  It looked like a very fun time.

However, My annual family reunion ends on July 1st.  I'll be getting home at some god awful time in the wee hours of July 2nd after driving hundreds of miles home. I could go for the last day (July 3rd) but I worry that I will have missed most of the opportunities to meet people, since they may be heading home that day, and may start leaving early (especially if they are already worn out! - and it's the people who are worn out that I'm sure I want to meet the most).  Also, there is NO "day" pass price for Tesfest.  You have to pay for the whole weekend, even if you are going a single day. I might still be willing to, but I worry that I'll be paying $180 just to watch people say goodbye to each other.

Am I wrong? Would it still be worth it for a single day?


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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/17/2006 9:14:05 AM   
bklynbbw


Posts: 147
Joined: 10/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hi..I dont know how to do the quote thing...but your line about someone looking for one handed reading material...lol   thats is exactly what I first thought....especially with the name "johnnywacks"...

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RE: Writer needs help (looking for stories). - 6/17/2006 10:56:42 AM   
johnnywacks


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bklynbbw

Hi..I dont know how to do the quote thing...but your line about someone looking for one handed reading material...lol   thats is exactly what I first thought....especially with the name "johnnywacks"...


Just hit the "quote" button in the upper right hand of the post.

Okay, I guess my nic is poorly chosen for the task at hand.  The psuedonum pre-dates the writing project and my collarme days.  It's a story for another post.    I'm just too tired to make up something new.  Already have the email and everything else using that damn name. 

Just to clarify, not really interesting hearing people talking about the ACTUAL SEX itself.  That gets sort of boring after a while.  I mean if the actual sex is important to the story, by all means don't edit it out! But I really don't any help in that area.  It's more about all the efforts we all go through AROUND sex, all the awkwardness, the meetings, the negotiations, the success and failures.  The sex itself is really not that interesting by itself. 




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