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And I Quote... - 11/24/2012 5:52:36 PM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		A random profile on the other side that I was...almost...willing to contact until I read this:

"What I want...well....you will have to earn that knowledge."

Bluntly, if you won't tell me what you want, then how am I ever supposed to earn anything? Basic communication of needs, wants, and desires seems like a given to me, not something I should have to beg and clamor for. Just my take on yet another episode of Duminant Meets Cluebyfour...

Sheesh!

SD
who's feeling especially bitchy tonight
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: And I Quote... - 11/24/2012 6:06:03 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		That's an awfully ugly carrot he seems to be dangling there. I don't imagine he'll get many bites.
Good thing you came to your senses long enough to read that!

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to SacredDepravity)
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RE: And I Quote... - 11/24/2012 6:07:16 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		Maybe the word 'ask' would have gone over better than 'learn'. From my own profile:

"It is not what we know but what we learn, that lets us grow.

Ask, then."

< Message edited by RemoteUser -- 11/24/2012 6:10:53 PM >

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There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


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RE: And I Quote... - 11/24/2012 6:08:32 PM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		Reading...It's not just for road signs anymore. LOL

I about fell out of the chair when I read that. Dear me, now I have to get down on my knees, grovel, and ask if he wants me to get down on my knees, grovel, or ask him this question? What the heck, dude???

SD

(in reply to poise)
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RE: And I Quote... - 11/24/2012 6:10:30 PM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

Maybe the word 'ask' would have gone over better than 'learn'. rom, my own profile:

"It is not what we know but what we learn, that lets us grow.

Ask, then."



This I can live with. I don't mind asking a few questions, but this idea that I have to nearly beat it out of you, well, that peaks my switch side's undivided and most undesirable attention.

SD

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 2:29:45 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		When I read something like this on a profile, my first thought is that they don't want to limit themselves. If they put that they are looking for a bigger woman, within ten years of their own age, who likes the outdoors, then a younger/older/smaller/more indoorsy woman wouldn't bother to contact them and they would have less chance of getting pussy. Doing this they get to act all domly and cryptic and can just claim to be looking for whoever contacts them.

Also they think they are showing how wonderfully dominant they are by starting communications on an unequal footing. You are already proving yourself from day one while they get to sit back and approve of you. Just like the doms who say subs must 'apply' or that they are 'considering' a few subs so you will have to compete.

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Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 3:26:07 AM   
metamorfosis


Posts: 1132
Status: offline 		What, you want to know what I think about it? You will have to earn my post.

Pam

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Forum Freak

(in reply to SacredDepravity)
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RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 6:05:41 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorfosis

What, you want to know what I think about it? You will have to earn my post.

Pam


Laughing!  Thanks, Pam, for the chuckle!!!

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

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RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 6:14:14 AM   
GoddessHerself


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		"What I want...well....you will have to earn that knowledge."

If I read between the lines I'm getting (in layman's terms) ... "if I have piqued your interest thus far AND you care enough to WANT to know more about me as well as having the gut's to ask, you shall be given the answers".

*shrugs*



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Life's a bitch, if it were easy it'd be a slut.

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RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 7:06:10 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessHerself

"What I want...well....you will have to earn that knowledge."

If I read between the lines I'm getting (in layman's terms) ... "if I have piqued your interest thus far AND you care enough to WANT to know more about me as well as having the gut's to ask, you shall be given the answers".

*shrugs*




This is my first interpretation too, you could always contact to see if thats the case or he is truly an asshat.


_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

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RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 7:11:59 AM   
GoddessHerself


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		My interpretation:

Unless we ask, we will never know.



_____________________________

Life's a bitch, if it were easy it'd be a slut.

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 8:37:12 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		"What I want...well....you will have to earn that knowledge."

This on its own could mean many things. I mean, was there more script or was that it?
Its the sort of thing I would expect to see on many a fem Domme profile. She would be saying "If you can be polite and respectful (without perving) and get to know me on a sociable level only then will I be more open with you and tell you what it is I want.

I can't see this kind of communication working with many female subs or slaves but then female subs/slaves have a much bigger choice. Because all females get dozens of letters a week with dozens of praises, they often turn into needy princesses. Its something to do with believing their own hype. The kind of wording you quoted tends to work well with male subs though because male subs can read between the lines and 'get it'

(in reply to GoddessHerself)
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RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 9:23:42 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB


I can't see this kind of communication working with many female subs or slaves but then female subs/slaves have a much bigger choice. Because all females get dozens of letters a week with dozens of praises, they often turn into needy princesses.


Having just turned my profile back on this week after having it deactivated for over 18 months, female slaves and submissives have a much bigger choice only if they want to be the Goddess of all of the male submissives who have written to them begging to have a strap-on used on them.

Rather than turning me into a "needy princess" it has turned me into a disgruntled goddess who wonders wtf is so difficult about at least reading up to the part on a females profile that says which side of the slash they are on.

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 9:31:10 AM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		Like I said, though, if it had said something like, "Ask me what I want and I will tell you," that would be one thing. I know how to proceed in obtaining this information. As it reads, I would have to take a stab at figuring out how to communicate with this person. While I would like to think that he just chose poor wording, but experience has tended to prove otherwise. While he may say this and mean that, it usually winds up meaning exactly what he wrote after all. It becomes frustrating very quickly. I am not interested in being frustrated just to communicate.

We can only speculate what this cryptic little snippet is supposed to mean, but it doesn't sound great from the first glance. I may ask him about it eventually, but it is a caution flag to me before either of us have even write the first message. There's plenty I am not telling a stranger on the internet. I do have to know someone before delving into my deeper waters. That's fine. This doesn't mean that to me. He went into plenty of detail about what he believed about some things, but what he wants out of another person, he intentionally withheld without any idea how one is to "earn" that information. It bothers me.

Honestly, this was meant in good spirit and perhaps a discussion of the importance of open communication. My initial gut reaction was that of having had a barrier placed between me and simply talking to the man. IF the knowledge I must earn is what he wants from me, then how can I know how to give him what he wants that earns that information. It's circular reasoning, a vicious cycle, and shows one of many ways communication can break down before it even begins.

SD

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 9:33:43 AM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorfosis

What, you want to know what I think about it? You will have to earn my post.

Pam


Laughing!  Thanks, Pam, for the chuckle!!!



Hilarious!

Illustrates my point exactly!

I have cookies. Have I earned your post yet? Pleeeeease????


(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 10:10:09 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
When I read something like this on a profile, my first thought is that they don't want to limit themselves. If they put that they are looking for a bigger woman, within ten years of their own age, who likes the outdoors, then a younger/older/smaller/more indoorsy woman wouldn't bother to contact them and they would have less chance of getting pussy. Doing this they get to act all domly and cryptic and can just claim to be looking for whoever contacts them.

Also they think they are showing how wonderfully dominant they are by starting communications on an unequal footing. You are already proving yourself from day one while they get to sit back and approve of you. Just like the doms who say subs must 'apply' or that they are 'considering' a few subs so you will have to compete.

Big surprise, I agree with Athena. This sounds to me like the typical "player" advice... make them come to you through some devious means. It is exactly the opposite of what I think of as "dominant" and "honorable". In addition, it reads like the claim of unfounded dominance (second paragraph)... in other words... fantasy.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 10:23:23 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

Having just turned my profile back on this week after having it deactivated for over 18 months, female slaves and submissives have a much bigger choice only if they want to be the Goddess of all of the male submissives who have written to them begging to have a strap-on used on them.

Rather than turning me into a "needy princess" it has turned me into a disgruntled goddess who wonders wtf is so difficult about at least reading up to the part on a females profile that says which side of the slash they are on.


I have the same problem with male dominants wanting that from me!

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 10:32:54 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I do get what you are saying Sacred. Its a sort of reverse psychology, a bit like 'treat them mean to keep them keen' sort of thing. Many men really do believe all you submissive women want a 'bad boy'

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 3:17:21 PM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		The "bad boy"....

That is such a mixed bag for me. I don't want someone who is just plain bad. That's the kind of thing that goes nowhere positive. But I sure do have a soft spot for the tortured, misunderstood soul. Think Phantom of the Opera here. No, he's a bad dom and no doubt about that, but that character gives me the ummy umms every time.

SD

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: And I Quote... - 11/25/2012 4:16:34 PM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline 		It's a red flag. (Closest smiley we have to red flag?)

I assume a top/dominant wrote that. The statement takes for granted the reader's interest in submitting. In my corner of BDSM, the top earns the submission of the bottom.
If a bottom wrote it, I still don't like it.

By saying "What I want...well....you will have to earn that knowledge" the speaker is setting a precedent of leaving the listener in an ambiguous place. I dismiss the words as a line, a facade by which depth is faked by using a lack of information in place of a real mystery. I read it as "trust me, I'm mysterious." Well, apparently you're not mysterious.

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<3

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Profile   Post #: 20
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