Am I just completely insane or what? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message


Theservileone -> Am I just completely insane or what? (11/24/2012 6:28:26 PM)

I'm seeing a dominatrix and I should probably start off by saying I didn't know what her job was before I walked through her door I don't work very far from where she does and I would see her coming and going from her job everyday so one day I decided to just go for it and ask her but when I walked into the the dungeon and saw her I was completely blown away and lost my nerve I looked like a complete idiot(I knew nothing about BDSM what so ever). For what ever reason when she asked if I was there for a session and I froze and said I was.

After that every attempt to ask her out became a session and eventually I guess we sort of became friends who am I kidding I don't even know what I am dong at this point. I literally stumbled on to this life style by chance at first I thought she was crazy then I started to think I was crazy because in a brief amount of time that I was not seeing her I actually started to miss being her slave. I sometimes think she might feel something for me to because she lets me serve her outside of the dungeon which she has never done before from what I understand. We've also seen some movies together and who knows maybe that's normal.

But still I worry she might find out I have feelings for her I'm not a very emotional person something we both have in common so maybe we're just two lonely people trying to connect to someone. What do you think I should do? I mean if I tell her and she rejects me she might cast me aside and that's the last thing I want before I met her I never even would consider serving someone now being her servant is all I want. What if she thinks I deceived her? Have I deceived her? Do I even deserve to be her slave? I really need some advice on this.




theRose4U -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (11/24/2012 6:57:49 PM)

Ok here's the deal, if you paid for sessions now tell her "I only came in because I wanted to date you" yes she's going to feel betrayed. Like it or not you started with a lie! That being said, how many sessions, how long this has been going on will be an issue.
You do realize that "dating you" isn't going to mean her stopping her work right?

Aakashia would probably have better first hand answers if you POLITELY c-mail her saying it was recommended in the forums.

Still don't think this sounds like a situation that will turn out the way you hope.




poise -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (11/24/2012 7:00:48 PM)

What if she doesn't find out you have feelings for her? Why do you think you could be happy
enough loving her in secret, while at the same time fear losing her if she ever knew you cared
more for her than you should? You're deceiving yourself if you have to hide your true feelings.




Theservileone -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (11/24/2012 7:57:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Ok here's the deal, if you paid for sessions now tell her "I only came in because I wanted to date you" yes she's going to feel betrayed. Like it or not you started with a lie! That being said, how many sessions, how long this has been going on will be an issue.
You do realize that "dating you" isn't going to mean her stopping her work right?

Aakashia would probably have better first hand answers if you POLITELY c-mail her saying it was recommended in the forums.

Still don't think this sounds like a situation that will turn out the way you hope.


Of course I understand that she wont stop her work. Why would I want her to stop doing something she loves? I've been her client for about a year and a half maybe two years.

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

What if she doesn't find out you have feelings for her? Why do you think you could be happy
enough loving her in secret, while at the same time fear losing her if she ever knew you cared
more for her than you should? You're deceiving yourself if you have to hide your true feelings.

Honestly I think I could be content as her slave just being able to be in her life is enough for me I just don't want to be cut out of her life. Maybe the reason I'm scared of her finding out is because I don't think I'm good enough. I mean what I did wasn't really that bad was it do I deserve to be let go for a little white lie?




theRose4U -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (11/24/2012 8:08:52 PM)

A year ago did you think you were worthy of her? If she had been a secretary how would things be different as far as your persuit of her?




Theservileone -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (11/24/2012 8:26:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

A year ago did you think you were worthy of her? If she had been a secretary how would things be different as far as your persuit of her?

Honestly a year ago I was completely nervous to even talk to her and I imagine if she had been a secretary I would have choked and walked out not even getting the chance to talk to her. So when she asked if I wanted a session I just said yes I didn't want to choke. I get nervous around girls I like.




theSwan -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (11/24/2012 11:42:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Theservileone

But still I worry she might find out I have feelings for her I'm not a very emotional person something we both have in common so maybe we're just two lonely people trying to connect to someone. What do you think I should do? I mean if I tell her and she rejects me she might cast me aside and that's the last thing I want before I met her I never even would consider serving someone now being her servant is all I want. What if she thinks I deceived her? Have I deceived her? Do I even deserve to be her slave? I really need some advice on this.


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Ok here's the deal, if you paid for sessions now tell her "I only came in because I wanted to date you" yes she's going to feel betrayed. Like it or not you started with a lie! That being said, how many sessions, how long this has been going on will be an issue.
You do realize that "dating you" isn't going to mean her stopping her work right?

Aakashia would probably have better first hand answers if you POLITELY c-mail her saying it was recommended in the forums.

Still don't think this sounds like a situation that will turn out the way you hope.


I am certainly not an expert on Dominatrix/submissive relationships but..
I can see an extremely romantic and honorable way to say that you came in because you wanted to date her.
You've already gotten an excellent start.

Something along the lines of..

--

I saw you every day for [# of days] days, coming and going from where you worked.
I finally got up the courage to learn more about you the day that I walked into your dungeon.
[Maybe that sounds awkward but just roll with me on this so far.]
I thought I was going to ask you on a date, I wanted to get to know you.

I was shocked when I found out where I was and what was going on.
I froze when you asked if I was there for a session and all I could say is yes.
And I kept coming back, thinking I would ask you to go on that date with me.

And I kept finding myself unable to do anything.
But consent to session after session with you.

I wasn't looking to be dominated. I didn't know anything about that culture or that world.
But when I was without you, I felt how badly I missed being your servant.
And now, years later, I know that I want you, I need you in my life.

I wasn't looking for someone to dominate me.
I was looking for you.
And even when being with you came in nothing of the package I imagined it would, I chased it and I don't regret it.

I care about you/love you [whatever describes what you feel].
And as crazy as this journey was for me, I am happy because it means that I've been able to be yours.
I should have been honest with you from the beginning and I definitely should have told you the truth before now.



--

Now, I am definitely a romantic and I can imagine how this wouldn't be as beautiful for everyone as I imagine it to be.
Maybe there should be more aloof respect and protocol, maybe the dishonesty at all is a deal breaker.

But, original poster, I want you to know that I think the situation you've worked yourself into speaks beautiful things of you.
And honors the woman who you are speaking of.




Toysinbabeland -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (11/25/2012 4:45:13 AM)

The truth is the only way.
Otherwise your binding will be a lie.
That's no way to live.




Theservileone -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (11/25/2012 4:51:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Toysinbabeland

The truth is the only way.
Otherwise your binding will be a lie.
That's no way to live.

Your right I will tell her the truth. Thank you all everyone was very helpful.




EsotericLady -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (1/6/2013 9:24:19 PM)

After reading the OP's situation, I'm wondering if he will come back and tell us how things worked out. :)




theRose4U -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (1/7/2013 4:10:47 PM)

Its been 2 months, I'm voting not bloody likely. He's either firmly in her collar & happy (so he doesn't need us) or got kicked to the curb like every other guy that fell for his pro-domme (and won't tell us)




dollenburg -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (1/8/2013 6:02:11 PM)

Her job is to make you feel wanted.

She did her job.





FindommeJinx -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (1/15/2013 3:39:55 PM)

speak from the heart....
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.




Theservileone -> RE: Am I just completely insane or what? (3/14/2013 2:35:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Its been 2 months, I'm voting not bloody likely. He's either firmly in her collar & happy (so he doesn't need us) or got kicked to the curb like every other guy that fell for his pro-domme (and won't tell us)

Well I am firmly in her collar and happy I am very happy.




Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875