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Dommes and Doms are people too!! - 11/24/2012 9:03:38 PM

FemmeD76

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/10/2012
Status: offline

I really feel the need to vent this due to the obsurd expectations some subs/ slaves have.

Dommes/Doms eat, sleep, cook, wear street clothes and have lives outside of BDSM.

It is ridiculous to assume that we are all sitting around our house leather/PVC/rubber clad waiting to cam/ chat with you and make all your wildest dreams come true. (If you are doing that, good for you, but maybe you should get some sunlight on your bones occasionally for vitamin d).

It doesn't hurt to get to know a Domme/Dom in a vanilla way ( general chat, coffee, phone calls ) etc ? Just because we aren't trying to Dominate you instantly doesn't mean we are not Dominant.

Just because you are a service oriented sub, doesn't mean we HAVE to give you all our chores and can't do anything for ourselves. Most Dominant people are independent and THEY control what they do, NOT you telling them they should make you do this and this etc.

I like mowing my lawn, and washing my car. I also love to cook and garden. How on earth does that make me submissive when I am clearly Dominant!

Last time I checked demanding that you can do x,y and z is NOT submissive. Neither is throwing a tantrum when you don't get your own way. Just saying...

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RE: Dommes and Doms are people too!! - 11/24/2012 9:15:35 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

Great first post. Welcome.

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RE: Dommes and Doms are people too!! - 11/25/2012 2:14:55 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Hi and welcome!

You're preaching to the choir here! Most of us on the forums side of the site tend to have a more realistic view of D/s relationships since a lot of us have done it or are doing it in real life. It tends to be on the other side (where the profiles are) that you meet the people who have watched too much porn and think that's how it should work.

Here we like to discuss different aspects of lifestyle and power exchange and so we tend to be a self-selecting group. The people who have been bugging you about getting on cam and making them cum aren't generally interested in being disabused of their porn-derived notions so they don't tend to stick around and join threads.

If it helps, us subs get it too. My profile says I'm taken, but I still get informed at least once a week that we're doing it wrong, we're not really Dom/sub because we don't conform to their ideas of how it should be. In fact, one 'dom' contacts me semi regularly to tell me I should get a divorce, I'm clearly unhappy because I'm not being treated like a slave should. I guess I would be much happier chained up in his basement.

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Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to FemmeD76)

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RE: Dommes and Doms are people too!! - 11/25/2012 2:32:14 AM

FemmeD76

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/10/2012
Status: offline

It's nice to finally get some sense from real time BDSMers. I've been in real time for about 16 years. I've been lucky enough to have 2 amazing subs in long term relationships and am starting to see that is very rare. What you said is so true! Most of the profilers I've heard from don't even know what power exchange is and when I get them into the headspace they freak out.

That is really quite rude of that Dom to be making statements like that about your current relationship. I wish some people would realise being Dominant is not being rude :/

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Hi and welcome!

You're preaching to the choir here! Most of us on the forums side of the site tend to have a more realistic view of D/s relationships since a lot of us have done it or are doing it in real life. It tends to be on the other side (where the profiles are) that you meet the people who have watched too much porn and think that's how it should work.

Here we like to discuss different aspects of lifestyle and power exchange and so we tend to be a self-selecting group. The people who have been bugging you about getting on cam and making them cum aren't generally interested in being disabused of their porn-derived notions so they don't tend to stick around and join threads.

If it helps, us subs get it too. My profile says I'm taken, but I still get informed at least once a week that we're doing it wrong, we're not really Dom/sub because we don't conform to their ideas of how it should be. In fact, one 'dom' contacts me semi regularly to tell me I should get a divorce, I'm clearly unhappy because I'm not being treated like a slave should. I guess I would be much happier chained up in his basement.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

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RE: Dommes and Doms are people too!! - 11/25/2012 2:37:13 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

The joys of the internet huh?

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Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: Dommes and Doms are people too!! - 11/25/2012 3:09:28 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeD76

Just because we aren't trying to Dominate you instantly doesn't mean we are not Dominant.

Just because you are a service oriented sub, doesn't mean we HAVE to give you all our chores and can't do anything for ourselves. Most Dominant people are independent and THEY control what they do, NOT you telling them they should make you do this and this etc.

*Chuckle* Ah, yes, the subs that tell you exactly how you need to be Dominant. It amazes me the confidence/arrogance needed to tell someone that their practices of 16 years are wrong because that's not the way the porn clips are.

Oh, yes. Welcome to collarme!

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Dommes and Doms are people too!! - 11/25/2012 4:56:19 AM

Ninebelowzero

Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline

But the porn clips are real!

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RE: Dommes and Doms are people too!! - 11/25/2012 11:07:48 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

But the porn clips are real!

No sweetie its this new fangled invention called film editing...just came out last month (like 60 years ago)

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