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ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Why do I feel confused? (11/28/2012 11:44:37 PM)
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Why do you feel confused? Because there are all kinds of relationship issues floating around in your head that you need to resolve. Let's take them one by one, okay?
First, you were attracted to this guy and you 'hung out' for months, (or a few times, you said both.) Per your own self you didn't have sex or talk about sex. If there was chemistry, why was that? You didn't know if he was 'dom' enough for you?
All you had to do was ask, you live in San Fran for pity's sake. Just, not everyone there is into our branch of an alternative lifestyle, but they've heard about it, or they're an idiot. So I have to question this supposed 'chemistry.' In all those months you were never horny? Really? Or was it just a few times and there was limited chemistry?
Please get your story straight.
Second, you tell the guy you're sub, he says he's dom (so far so good) but then you start running hot and cold since you are seeing some other guy. Which you don't tell him about. Not that you are obligated, but you know, when you begin a relationship with someone, you either begin with giving a little bit of trust and a lot of honesty, or you don't. Were you even honest with yourself? Please think about that one.
You delete his number and decide to ignore him b/c he called you a prude for not jumping into sex with him. Okay, good.
Third, he shows up at your work, touches you inappropriately, and you end up having sex with him. Um, why? The 'I was horny' statement is just downright hysterical.
You say one thing, but you mean and do another. You don't have a clue what you think or potentially feel about this guy (I'm thinking self reflection is not your strong suit), but you have sex with him anyway. Which from my view point over here in internet land, was not up to much. First time sex with someone with great chemistry has *always* been fanfuckingtastic for me. Please think about that.
Fourth, (geeze who can keep track) then he wakes you up to take the train...you don't say when that was. Middle of the night? Early morning? Early evening shortly after the sex session? And you 'passed out' were you drinking? Doing other recreational drugs? Whatevah. You said you were horny so you fucked him. You used a man for sex, it seems he used you for sex, and then you get angry b/c he treats you like it was a booty call. Hunny, it was a booty call. What about that didn't you get?
This guy isn't a dom (though he sounds like a jerk), and you're not a sub. You are a confused little girl who jerks men around back and forth b/c you are young and attractive and can get away with it. And when they don't like that, you get pissed and ignore them or flounce off or inject some other form of drama into things.
Seriously, you have no personal boundaries for yourself or anyone else. That's not being sub, that's being clueless. I suspect all your attempts at forming relationships are a disaster. Be honest now, have you ever enjoyed a nice drama free relationship for even a few months?
BTW: You're subsequent posts are a great attempt at back peddling, but it's all they are. If you wanted and needed the sex, then what's the big deal. Why would you even post here? To ask if he's a dom? How the hell would we know, based on your OP? You wanted to vent b/c he used you for sex and then kicked you out, nothing more.
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