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RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/2/2012 7:23:31 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

Genobee, get that hair out of your face & attend a munch. It's much easier to discard steriotypes when you see living breathing women that prove your illusions false. Seriously ditch the porn & meet people. I GUARANTEE approaching with poise, manners & maybe the offer of a drink will get you farther in one night than months of reading, porn watching & fretting about "what if".

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Genobee)

Post #: 21

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/4/2012 1:16:22 PM

Genobee

Posts: 28
Joined: 11/7/2010
Status: offline

I appreciate the care; some things are more convoluted than advice based off of assumptions has to offer though. Of course, I'm sure you do understand that already.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 22

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/4/2012 1:42:09 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Genobee

I appreciate the care; some things are more convoluted than advice based off of assumptions has to offer though. Of course, I'm sure you do understand that already.

Get your butt out there!!! Whether the lock ness monster is blue or green depends on perspective, go see a real live girl & report back!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Genobee)

Post #: 23

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/4/2012 2:11:48 PM

Genobee

Posts: 28
Joined: 11/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: Genobee

I appreciate the care; some things are more convoluted than advice based off of assumptions has to offer though. Of course, I'm sure you do understand that already.

Get your butt out there!!! Whether the lock ness monster is blue or green depends on perspective, go see a real live girl & report back!

I've seen my fair share of living, breathing people. I'm not so uncouth to base my outlook on "illusions" or "porn" or whatever you believe I have limited my experiences to. Quite frankly, I'm turned off by most people's culture and ways and desires. I'm not so desperate to put my values aside to be with someone I know is not good for me and vice versa.

Like I said, I appreciate your care and good intentions, but the answer to my dilemmas goes a bit beyond simply making myself more available than I already have. At this point, I have found the best solution is likely to change locations to another area all together. However, I am not finished with my business in these parts yet, and won't be until a good few years.

Life isn't so generous as to give me the leisure of having all I want where I want it and when I want it.
Even when I am able to move out from where I am, I do not expect to find what I'm looking for, but rather, I hope to.

Again, I appreciate your care, but advice alone is not enough to change the reality that exists outside of my own scope of what is real.
I truly wish you had answers that could open up hidden paths among grounds I have already threaded upon, but that is wishful thinking wasted on a world not built to cater to such wishes. I always keep an eye open and an ear ready despite this, but that is out of hope, and hope alone, for hope keeps me going.

Forgive the drift that came about from my reply, but it is a subject that deserves a through response.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 24

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/4/2012 6:45:44 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

Then you have pre-doomed yourself to a life of failure...enjoy!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Genobee)

Post #: 25

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/4/2012 6:54:13 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I GUARANTEE approaching with poise will get you farther in one night than months
of reading, porn watching & fretting about "what if".

Wow! Thanks for recognizing my skillz! Perhaps we could tag team him, and then....

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 26

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/4/2012 7:02:21 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Am I the only one who really wants to see a pic of Rose's Doberman alligator?

With that said, we're very loving and affectionate but not bubbly.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 12/4/2012 7:03:03 PM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 27

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/4/2012 8:16:30 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I GUARANTEE approaching with poise will get you farther in one night than months
of reading, porn watching & fretting about "what if".

Wow! Thanks for recognizing my skillz! Perhaps we could tag team him, and then....

LMAO this one seems sweet & well intentioned but a hell of a lot of work! Can we get a cute rich one with an island if it will be this much work anyway??

FIP you have gator mail

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 12/4/2012 9:02:41 PM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 28

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/4/2012 8:18:45 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

Big shocker I don't live with "normal" animals...right FIP?

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 12/4/2012 9:04:39 PM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 29

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/5/2012 1:55:43 AM

Genobee

Posts: 28
Joined: 11/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Then you have pre-doomed yourself to a life of failure...enjoy!

I can't say if I have or not; the future is never fully certain. I choose my steps according to what it is I believe in, as I would not be true to myself if I did not.
Despite what future awaits from where my steps will take me though, I will at least be at peace, knowing that I walked my path according to what I valued dearly.

As for how things are in the present, they do not have much of what I would consider "failure," for I am succeeding in most of my pursuits at this time.
Although I have already said it multiple times, I do appreciate your concern, but again, there is not much for me to do at this very moment in terms to finding my other in this convoluted world we live in.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 30

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/5/2012 10:29:18 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

Genobee,
I'm late joining this discussion, but for what it's worth, ALL of my D/s experiences have been warm and loving. And i've been at this for almost 20 years.

I'm not attracted to ice queens and would never find myself in a relationship with one. I don't know where you got the impression that all dominant women are cold and unloving, but that's just not true. It's a stereotype. Nothing more. That stereotype is probably most appropriate for pro Dommes, where short-term "sessions" are the standard. But in real 24/7 relationships (particularly live-in relationships), love and kindness are necessary.

(in reply to Genobee)

Post #: 31

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/5/2012 1:44:26 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

My affection & kindness much like ice cream melts when ignored & disregarded

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 32

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/5/2012 11:49:03 PM

Genobee

Posts: 28
Joined: 11/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Genobee,
I'm late joining this discussion, but for what it's worth, ALL of my D/s experiences have been warm and loving. And i've been at this for almost 20 years.

I'm not attracted to ice queens and would never find myself in a relationship with one. I don't know where you got the impression that all dominant women are cold and unloving, but that's just not true. It's a stereotype. Nothing more. That stereotype is probably most appropriate for pro Dommes, where short-term "sessions" are the standard. But in real 24/7 relationships (particularly live-in relationships), love and kindness are necessary.

I appreciate your feedback and expression of your own experiences. It's nice to hear you have met dominants that were both warm and loving in your relationships.
As for my "impression," it is not in essence of all dominant women being a certain way, as I do not like absolutes and did not word what I said to refer to absolutes.

I merely was writing out my experiences in what I've seen for myself and heard from others. In which I conveyed that most relationships that had sub/dom integrated within, of the instances I have seen or heard of ones, treated that part of the relationship like it was an occasional past-time, and not a basis for the relationship. Furthermore, that the female dominant was very, well, as you put it, "ice queen"-like, when those instances occurred.

I further said that there was nothing wrong with that if it worked for the couple, but that I was wondering how often 24/7, natural sub/dom relationships, with a female dominant that was more warm, bubbly, and loving in how she acted out her dominant nature, were occurring in regard to dominants on this board.

I hope my re-stating of that section of my OP cleared up the miscommunication that I believed, "all dominant women are cold and unloving."

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 33

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/6/2012 7:08:39 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

Okay. Thanks for the clarification.

I guess the only other advice that I'd share with you is to not settle for less than what you desire. So if you're looking for a kind, loving Domme, then don't settle for anything other than that. That may sound like an obvious comment, but it's actually not. When a male sub has been without a Domme for a long period of time, we can sometimes become so excited about the opportunity to serve a Domme (ANY Domme), that we're willing to subordinate our own needs just to be with her. It's desperation, but when you've been without a Domme for a long time, desperate measures sometimes seem reasonable.

As you continue your search, there are code words that usually serve as an indication that the Domme is the type that you're seeking. Look for the term "sensual Domme" when you're browsing profiles. And if you like a bit of spanking/punishment in your relationship, then look for the term "sensual sadist".

I hope that helps. Good luck in your search.
-Roch

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 12/6/2012 7:10:32 AM >

(in reply to Genobee)

Post #: 34

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/6/2012 8:19:16 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Genobee

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: Genobee

I appreciate the care; some things are more convoluted than advice based off of assumptions has to offer though. Of course, I'm sure you do understand that already.

Get your butt out there!!! Whether the lock ness monster is blue or green depends on perspective, go see a real live girl & report back!

I've seen my fair share of living, breathing people. I'm not so uncouth to base my outlook on "illusions" or "porn" or whatever you believe I have limited my experiences to. Quite frankly, I'm turned off by most people's culture and ways and desires. I'm not so desperate to put my values aside to be with someone I know is not good for me and vice versa.

Like I said, I appreciate your care and good intentions, but the answer to my dilemmas goes a bit beyond simply making myself more available than I already have. At this point, I have found the best solution is likely to change locations to another area all together. However, I am not finished with my business in these parts yet, and won't be until a good few years.

Life isn't so generous as to give me the leisure of having all I want where I want it and when I want it.
Even when I am able to move out from where I am, I do not expect to find what I'm looking for, but rather, I hope to.

Again, I appreciate your care, but advice alone is not enough to change the reality that exists outside of my own scope of what is real.
I truly wish you had answers that could open up hidden paths among grounds I have already threaded upon, but that is wishful thinking wasted on a world not built to cater to such wishes. I always keep an eye open and an ear ready despite this, but that is out of hope, and hope alone, for hope keeps me going.

Forgive the drift that came about from my reply, but it is a subject that deserves a through response.

Genobee,

There are more than 2,400 kinky people in the Virginia Beach area registered on Fetlife. 48 area kinky groups, munches conducted regularly on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays in the Norfolk area and one right at Reginella's Italian Ristorante in Virginia Beach itself. They are even having a holiday party and kinky gift exchange in your area. One of the country's largest kinky conferences is held up in D.C. each year - Black Rose.

Life is giving you all you want where and when you want it - you just have to look, be willing to dare, and go out and get it.

You are much less likely to find it here than there among real local kinky people actually living this lifestyle.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to Genobee)

Post #: 35

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/7/2012 5:52:43 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Genobee

Thank you all for your replies. It very much helps to hear answers from different and unique perspectives on this inquiry.
It seems like several of you have something very similar to what I described, and gives me a sense of relief to see that what I have hope for is a possibility.

You see, it's easy to be overwhelmed with doubt when faced with how difficult it can be to even find people who can somewhat understand one's self, let alone someone so compatible that one could complete one another in companionship.
My self-developed culture and desires from that culture set me apart from most people I meet in the sense that we have such different desires and expectations in a relationship.
I'd imagine this is true simply by being sub or dom by default, but only pushed further when there are less cultural differences of more lighter things.

I realize it's good for both small and big things to fit well together in a romantic union between individuals, especially when desiring something that blossoms greatly to withstand the test of time...
I can only hope that if a core part of submission and domination can and has been established face to face with others, that is desirable for my own hopes in relationship, that as unlikely as it is statistically in my mind, that it is still stands as something possible.

Reading over this post, I may have drifted slightly, but I believe it's mostly relevant. I thank you again everyone; please, feel free to keep replying as the thread is open if you desire to add more to this topic. It is one that continues to be better addressed with each new reply. :3

Yes, it can be easy to be overwhelmed by self doubt at times. Particularly when venturing into a "culturally taboo" area of life. To me the key thing is that NO relationships are ever the same, even when "culturally acceptable" ... it is up to the those in the relationship to find out what works for them.

After all .. we are all unique individuals and one size does not fit all.

There is no reason Dom/sub excludes romance and love .... chuckles .. and i know one or two who demand it in their own relationships! ;-)

(in reply to Genobee)

Post #: 36

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/7/2012 8:06:02 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

my Mistrerss does have a cutesy voice for grand kids and the cats and cute pics that does not make the whip She weilds less painfull or the needles less sharp. the dynamic that W/we have is D/s but there is still dinner and laundry and such. the athority is always Hers and i am Her property.

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

Post #: 37

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/7/2012 9:21:51 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Yeah, but I really don't consider Myself "bubbly". I'm airheaded enough without that.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 38

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/7/2012 9:45:11 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Yeah, but I really don't consider Myself "bubbly". I'm airheaded enough without that.

So tell clip to stop blowing in your vagina...its starting to make your head float!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 39

RE: A relationship that is heavily sub/dom, but also ve... - 12/7/2012 9:49:43 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Don't tempt him. He'll start telling the story about how I was so far in top space once that I walked into a wall.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 40

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