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wtf? - 11/30/2012 12:14:50 AM   
tiemetighterplz


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/18/2012
Status: offline 		My "Master" has had me devoted to Him even though He lives 800 miles away and i havent seen Him since the end of january. Why did it take so long for me to realize what a complete idiot i've been? Was it because he was "safe" in being so far away? i tend to think it was because He was my first and i fell in lust. Dang me and these sentimental emotions God gifted me with...ugh...
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RE: wtf? - 11/30/2012 12:44:49 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		honestly, you should always be wary of online collars. it's easy to get wrapped up in the fantasy of being owned by a seemingly perfect dom far, far away. people can hide huge chunks of themselves when you don't see them and interact face-to-face frequently.

long-distance dating is tough, so be sure to manage your expectations. unless someone is willing to relocate, or both parties agree to incur traveling costs for visits, the chances of an online collar leading to anything but frustration and heartbreak is slim to none.

ETA: sorry to hear about your experience though. best of luck to you.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 11/30/2012 12:45:37 AM >

(in reply to tiemetighterplz)
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RE: wtf? - 11/30/2012 6:39:58 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I would say as you dissect this situation you take away the parts that helped you. Online domination is something that requires a great deal of self control. If this far away dom in your head got you to eat better, go to the gym more often, be nicer to a family member you hate...then keep doing that!!

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Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

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RE: wtf? - 11/30/2012 6:51:46 AM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

people can hide huge chunks of themselves when you don't see them and interact face-to-face frequently.



Amen is all I have to say to that!

Find someone real and close who is actually physically, mentally, and emotionally available to you. Yes, it's not so safe, but you are worth the risk. Find munches in your area if you have them and search locally online. Consider attending clubs, events, or classes (especially classes) while you are looking. All my best in your search!

SD

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
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RE: wtf? - 11/30/2012 7:38:44 AM   
Lucifyre


Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline 		I just don't get the attraction to anything long distance. There are public communities ALL OVER the fekking place. There has GOT to be something going on at least semi local to you. Even if it's just the local adult toy store. Instead of looking to satisfy ones needs through a keyboard and a computer screen, getting showered and dressed and actually in the car to go visit the local venue shouldn't be that damned difficult. Or is it that sitting naked, at home, three days ripe is just way too easy to do so folks that that option instead?

I don't get it.

Lucifyre

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

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RE: wtf? - 11/30/2012 8:01:53 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		The OP is so vague I have no idea what the issue is other than not getting to see each other. Has the D-type been in contact through other methods, like texting or Skype? If not, then I could understand the complaint. If so, what's the problem? Long-distance relationships are difficult but they can be done and can be rewarding.

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Sylverë
Dark Muse
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"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: wtf? - 11/30/2012 8:34:17 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		or she just found out he's actually married.

long distance can work, but it depends on what you want.

needles

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I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

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RE: wtf? - 11/30/2012 9:52:55 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		two reasons:

sub frenzy

you had a fantasy built up in your head



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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: wtf? - 11/30/2012 10:01:55 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		this.

Long distance can work, IF the foundation was real. I did long distance for decades yrs with a military man, but we began face to face, lived together for 4 yrs prior, and came together whenever we could. I also had to accept he would have others as would I. I don't get the mentality of building a relationship from air.

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: wtf? - 11/30/2012 12:59:38 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tiemetighterplz

My "Master" has had me devoted to Him even though He lives 800 miles away and i havent seen Him since the end of january. Why did it take so long for me to realize what a complete idiot i've been? Was it because he was "safe" in being so far away? i tend to think it was because He was my first and i fell in lust. Dang me and these sentimental emotions God gifted me with...ugh...


You were willing to ignore warning signs and/or you compromised your needs for 11 months.
It's good that you're being introspective about why this happened and that you seem so be saying it's due to your decisions and actions.

The good news is that (hopefully) you won't follow this path again.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to tiemetighterplz)
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RE: wtf? - 11/30/2012 6:55:58 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tiemetighterplz

My "Master" has had me devoted to Him even though He lives 800 miles away and i havent seen Him since the end of january. Why did it take so long for me to realize what a complete idiot i've been? Was it because he was "safe" in being so far away? i tend to think it was because He was my first and i fell in lust. Dang me and these sentimental emotions God gifted me with...ugh...


I know this one.

Because you want it to be true.

(in reply to tiemetighterplz)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: wtf? - 12/1/2012 8:35:39 AM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		It could be that, since he was your first, you were in the throes of sub frenzy. When I started in this kinky stuff, it was as a sub and I can understand sub frenzy. But it sounds like you're pretty much over it now and that's a good thing. Now you're starting to think more realistically.

Long distance can work, but you have to be realistic about what's possible when you can't be together all the time. My sub and I are 3000 miles apart and we see each other in person every three months or so, except in the winter when he's snowed in. I'm in NW Washington state and he's in Anchorage, AK.

Gawd, if you haven't seen him in eleven months sounds like it's practically online-only and I won't even go there anymore. It sounds like you're very disillusioned and now you're thinking more clearly & it would be good time to decide just what you really want out of a dynamic and whether it could be possible with him or not.

NBMG

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to tiemetighterplz)
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