Unattractive in a sub

Unattractive in a sub (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

theRose4U -> Unattractive in a sub (11/30/2012 6:12:55 PM)
Daily we get asked what we want in a sub from boys leading off on the completely wrong foot. The profiles looking for Domme,switch or sub of any size or ethnicity (with nothing else there), the cocks in bondage & men that would physically be appealing writing in great detail about how they are a kink virgin wanting nothing more than total slavery. So the question is: what traits do you find offensive, disrespectful or down right hard limits in someone seeking to be yours?

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/1/2012 9:08:12 AM)
Bad hygiene, smartassiness, outright disprespect or purposeful disobedience. My first sub had issues w/ hygiene and i won't go through that again. I love a sense of humor as much as the next person and I'm all for it, but blatant disrespect won't fly with me. NBMG

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/1/2012 9:25:29 AM)
I want a lot in my personal relationships, since I consider myself a high quality person with a high degree of personal integrity, and nothing less than the same appeals to me. Deal breakers would be poor character, poor hygiene (sad it even needs to be mentioned, but it does), extreme over or under weight, lack of intelligence, lack of emotional maturity, poor sense of humor, and poor communication skills. Since my view and society's view as to what makes a person attractive are quite different, I'm fairly tolerant about looks, weight (assuming someone is not morbidly obese), financial status, education level, quantity and quality of personal possessions, etc. The single most important thing is of course, mutual rapport. Without that, a relationship does not stand a chance.

saundrakitty -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/1/2012 9:40:39 AM)
I have to agree with everyone else that Bad Hygiene is one, and the other is being dishonest and lying to Me. Trust me they always mess up and get caught and I just can't tolerate that one little bit. I also have issues with those that will not communicate with me and expect me to be able to read their mind. Or those that try to to make me break my hard limits right off the bat. Everything else can be talked through and worked with as I don't follow the social idea of what is in, as what i like comes into a different ideal. I enjoy a good sense of humor like anyone else, but being disobedient and rude is a big no-no with me as well. I also need to be able to connect with the person as well physically as well as emotionally-as I take in the whole package when deciding if there is any compatibility.

theRose4U -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/1/2012 9:54:50 AM)
Agree that compatibility is paramount. From my past: married & lying (bastard was cheating on woman dying) hygiene & presentation (super hairy is just eewe) overly involved family...mom was consulted about my every request & demand thus ending in a discussion of why my word was what iwanted, not the version his mother thought he should do. For example asked for pork tenderloin (tyson garlic herb) & mashed potatos to be picked up for dinner. I received pork chops & scalloped potato box mix (which ihate) because that's what mom gave him instructions on how to cook. I don't believe in isolation but that woman... Overt fetish focus- foot worship is nice penis near my feet or expensive shoes NO! Overtly sexual approach or profile where any female will do Demands that if I'm a weel twue domme I will pick them up at the bus station to take ownership of them immediately (this was someone I had never talked to ever) Wanker approach at a munch- not every female is sub & even fewer want "that guy"

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/1/2012 10:03:44 AM)
Off the top of my head: I completely agree with bad hygiene being a major no-no. And I agree, its sad that it even has to be mentioned. If you smell or look like something crawled on you and died, are you honestly wanting to share that "joy" with me? I go through a ritual of making myself presentable to the world. Do the same in regards to me. Regular showers, teeth brushing, manscaping, perhaps some nice body spray/cologne (dont overdo it though!) are your friends [:)] No "do me" mentality please! Dont come at me with a huge kinky bucket list of all of the things you want to have done to you. Im a human being, not a trained circus seal. Dont make my D/s some job I have to perform. Make it a collaboration. What do you bring to the table? Who are you as a person? Dont tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me what is honestly on your mind. Unlike others you might experience in life, I actually give a rip what you have to say. Keep in mind that there is a time and place for it though. If you are only telling me what you think I want to hear, you are being dishonest with me. I HATE DISHONESTY! Be real and be genuine. You cant go wrong with that. I pay attention to the way you treat others. If you are an asshole to animals, treat the elderly/children like they are drains on society, say horrible things about those who are less fortunate than you are, dont tip wait people, or any other examples of jackassery...we wont get along very well.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/1/2012 12:39:02 PM)
Barring my Top 5 Physical Turn-offs (http://www.collarchat.com/m_4187423/tm.htm), anyone asking for something on the list of hard limits on my profile is an automatic "No." Beyond that, they have to be able to pass my Test As A Friend (https://fetlife.com/users/20720/posts/729630) before I'll consider going any further. If at any point they fail the Friend Test, I'm done.

noellesdestiny -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/1/2012 3:55:29 PM)
Hygiene ....,,.disrespect......being sneaky......complaining

FemmeD76 -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/2/2012 2:20:37 AM)
Well said!! :)

chatterbox24 -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/2/2012 5:47:12 AM)
Are you all running into the land of stinky people? lol. My stomach is turning thinking about it. ANd speaking of that, dirty finger nails make me want to hurl. An unshowered one day old crotch especially in hot weather is absolutely disgusting. THe smell is over the top. So for anyone thinking they still smell good skipping a daily shower. THINK AGAIN! THats my wrap on hygiene.

MariaB -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/2/2012 8:25:59 AM)
Someone who wears too much deodorant, aftershave and smelly stuff to cover up their natural body scent. I don't want a man who stinks but I want to be able to smell him as an individual. Male sweat in the right quantities is very sexy but its a delicate balance.

bighappygoth39 -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/2/2012 12:35:07 PM)
My main pet peeves from experience when I was still looking were: Bratty behaviour (someone who thinks that constantly insulting me will get them the punishment they want) Bad hygiene Blatantly lying Do me attitude Wanting to chat about my kinks and not even be bothered about who I am (which I made clear on my profile at the time that I wouldn't tolerate, but, of course, that still got ignored for such a long time) Meeting someone who constantly bitched and moaned about their ex can also be very off putting, especially when you haven't even asked about them... The list could go on, but those were my main ones. I'm so glad I was so fussy, really. [8D]

PeonForHer -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/2/2012 2:49:51 PM)
NM. Bit rude, on reflection.

StrictnSaucy -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/2/2012 3:34:15 PM)
Passive aggressive behaviour. Subs need to cut that right out. Along with cleaning and all the above. Seriously, do we a thread on this. Can cop on not prevail?

PeonForHer -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/2/2012 4:12:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrictnSaucy Seriously, do we a thread on this. Can cop on not prevail? Sorry, no comprendo.

MissJVD -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/2/2012 4:28:20 PM)
Disrespect and bad language. Regards, MissJVD

StrictlyADomina -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/3/2012 1:33:59 PM)
Would I be embarrassed to bring the boy in question around My friends? If so then I don't want to have anything to do with him. If the boy has a big checklist of “must haves” or detailed fantasies in what they want/expect from a Domina, I am not interested. I find those boys have a huge problem that involves loving to live inside their own heads. So any Domina in reality will never make their "Porn Goddess" fantasy. Boys that present the introduction of their profile as a “dick pic” are blocked. If you are that enamored with your penis, you should date it 24/7 for "LTR" exclusively. Half of the people on the planet have dicks and for the other half it is just not that hard for Us to see or get one if We want it. Grow the heck up. Who wants to be seen with an overgrown version of Beavis and Butthead. If your profile consists of the “cornucopia of objects I would like up my ass”, I’m not interested. Pushy, rude, no concept of manners, vulgar language. morbid obesity and poor hygiene are also at the top of the list that gets the boy banned. In short, If you have no class, I have no time for you. Regards, StrictlyADomina

SnowRanger -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/5/2012 12:15:17 PM)
Dear StrictnSaucy, I have to confess that I am a bit stumped about the whole "passive agressive" thing. An former Mistress once expressed concern about this. The truth is that somethings are important to me and others are not. Would I rather sleep in a king size feather bed or a storm swale? Based on experience, I will take the feather bed every time. Conversely, do I want pizza or chinese tonight? Either is fine. Other times, I have a preference; but, it is not a deal breaker. I prefer Skyline Chilli to Goldstar Chilli and will jump on Dixie Chilli every chance I get. However, If you like Goldstar then that's where we will go. It is not a hill worth dying on. Sometimes is is a matter of "Now that you mention it..." I have a higher tolerance for discomfort than most people. But, Now that you mention it, I am a bit cold, or thirsty, or hungry... ...Just not enough to need to take action for myself. Another thing that concerned her was her collar. I found it a bit hard to sleep in. On the other hand I loved being in it. I believe that she enjoyed my being in it; and, enduring a bit of discomfort for her pleasure was fine by me. Please clarify this for me. If you identify any of this a passive agressive behavior I will wear the title with shame. If it is something that I need to work on then I will. Respectfully, Mike SnowRanger

PeonForHer -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/5/2012 2:42:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SnowRanger I have to confess that I am a bit stumped about the whole "passive agressive" thing. Just my opinion but, gawd, is that term overused these days. It's got the point where I want to be very actively aggressive to whoever was the windbag who coined it.

PeonForHer -> RE: Unattractive in a sub (12/5/2012 2:43:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB I don't want a man who stinks but I want to be able to smell him as an individual. Lots of people have said that I smell very much as an individual, Maria! [:)]

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875