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SacredDepravity -> RE: Holiday Blues. (12/6/2012 8:32:43 AM)
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I had a wonderful childhood when it came to Christmas. Christmas Eve was spent at my grandmother's house having a huge dinner followed by my grandfather taking the little ones out to see the houses with lights up all over town and then coming back to loads of presents for everybody. After, I'd come home and put cookies and milk out for Santa (and a carrot for Rudolph) and hurried off to bed. Very early in the morning I'd wake everyone up as the pile of presents at the tree grew overnight and we would have cookies, milk, and sausage balls while we opened everything. No time to play with them though because we were off to my step father's family. There we all gathered, read the Christmas story from Luke, opened gifts, and had another huge family dinner together. After that we would talk for hours, the guys would play football in the front yard while the ladies cleaned up and talked some more. If we stayed long enough somebody would suggest a board game and we'd play until very late at night.
As I've come of age and come to have a family of my own, a lot of these same things still happen. Of course, I don't go look at lights anymore because I have to help clean up (the light show was a distraction for us impatient kids while the ladies had a huge clean up to do). It's not so bad though because we get to Grandma's special punch first and have some howlingly fun and and inappropriate conversations before the menfolk and kids get back. I have come to dislike with a burning passion all the struggle for gifts and the grotesque materialism that has come to be associated with the season. Christmas has now become a time for simple gifts for the kids from anyone in the family. The rest of us either don't exchange gifts or donate to charities in each others' names. The most meaningful gift I ever got came last year when my sister donated to provide a water system, mosquito net, and sponsored a child in my name from one of our church's sister outreach ministries. After seeing what I have, this meant more to me than anything.
I guess I have always had a family legacy of ways to make holidays special. They change over time, but they are ours. Some changes are hard, like the loss of my great grandmother several years ago that left a hole in every tradition we had from her special recipes to the empty chair at the table she always occupied. Others have been easy like moving from gifts to giving. I am honored that a lot of the food traditions of our family have come to be what I contribute each year. I was always hanging around watching everyone cook when I was little and somehow learned how to make many of the recipes that would have been lost otherwise. I continue in my great grandmother's footsteps with old recipes and move the traditions forward as well.
I know this time of year is hard for many for a host of reasons. Everything is magnified this time of year from current money problems, health concerns, to ghosts of the past. After moving a couple years ago I was shocked at how much of a hole was left by something as simple as not singing in a Christmas program. Regardless, I encourage everyone to honor the past (its pain for some and its tradition for others) but also start writing your own legacy. This day doesn't have to be what it has always been. Family doesn't have to have anything to do with bloodlines. While this is a Christian holiday, it is a celebration of life, family, and reconciliation of our own pasts. Let it have that meaning regardless of faith tradition. It is a time for peace and beauty.
If it's just too hard and avoiding everything seems easier, please still keep around people and happiness. Depression before, during, and after the holidays can get out of control leading to many hospitalizations and funerals. Be vigilant for your well being. And it is my plea that those who do not celebrate not cost others their time together. How many people does it take to open and run a store, restaurant, or theater? All of those people have their own families and traditions. Many of them would like to be with the people they love doing what has meaning to them, but they are there working. Most of the time it is not by choice and they are under threat of their employment if they don't comply. These are not essential employees like police, fire, rescue, and hospital staff. They are folks making at or just above minimum wage, often young people, stuck working for the handful of dollar bills that might walk through the door. If you can, instead, find a friend and their family who would love to have you come share with them. If you can't, then rest, reflect, and enjoy a few new traditions all your own.
I wish the best to all this season.
SD
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