Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (Full Version)

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TryingOut -> Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/8/2012 9:41:21 AM)

I have had a few email exchanges from people who are already in relationships. Not sexual, just friendly. One person I have been speaking with, I saw something that made me realize the person was involved with someone else on here. Never discussed our relationships so I don't think it is sneaky but I don't want to overstep a boundary. They are not poly. Like I said, I know I am not interested in "that way" and I assume they are not interested in me either other than as a friend. I am very new and don't want to be thought of as a "poacher"



OsideGirl -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/8/2012 9:45:51 AM)

You can only be responsible for your own actions. If you are behaving in an honorable manner, then don't worry.




AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/8/2012 10:09:59 AM)

As long as you aren't saying anything you wouldn't say to a married friend in the real world, you're fine.

I have friendly chats with people all the time. If you were to start asking me for dirty pictures, or talking about your penis or telling me I'm running my relationship wrong, I'd put a stop to it. Otherwise, no big deal.

If my partner had a problem with me talking to other people online, that's between me and him. It would be me who was knowingly doing something that my partner didn't like. Not that I'd be in that situation, because limiting who your partner speaks to reeks of distrust and insecurity.



DesFIP -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/8/2012 11:01:51 AM)

I talk to other people all the time. But I don't talk about sex because that's private. I ask about pictures and vacations, I share recipes etc.
None of which is inappropriate.



theRose4U -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/8/2012 1:45:52 PM)

Speaking of FIP you forgot to send me that macaroon recipe!

OP if you are conducting yourself as a friend not as an ass, poly or partnered shouldn't matter.



littlewonder -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/8/2012 1:46:11 PM)

If you just want to talk to others on here in a platonic way, I don't think most would mind unless their profile tells you otherwise.

So read the person's profile to make sure you are not overstepping bounds. Personally I have had both male and female email me just for platonic conversations. If the person gets angry because all you did was make small talk with them, then just shrug your shoulders and fine another.




mysteries1984 -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/8/2012 3:49:11 PM)

It's not something I'd worry too much about, as long as it is platonic. I talk to a few others here and nothing sexual is ever mentioned. A few ask me questions about where I'm from (Ireland) and the like. I make my intentions clear on my profile, i.e that I'm not looking for anything here, so it never seems to be an issue.



littlewonder -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/8/2012 8:44:49 PM)

Dude, if you want to make friends on here and have platonic conversations, join in the forums. The more you are here the more you will be recognized and others will talk to you. If you look around you will see all kinds of nonsexual conversations....from animal pets to cooking to politics to everything else in between.



Nakhla -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/8/2012 10:55:35 PM)


It seems perfectly normal to me. Whoever you are there is absolutely no reason to change who you're friends with - D/s, BDSM doesn't change that.

I myself have a disproportionate number of dominant male friends simply because I've met men on my search that either never were dates or just segued into being friends rather than a relationship. Many of these I've kept chatting and emailing right on through several relationships, and my status was known to them and my friends were known to my lovers.

As with so many things, it's only an issue if someone makes it one.



Kana -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 8:10:11 AM)

I talk to tons of people on here all the time. Male, female, sub, dom, it doesn't matter.
And so does she.
Why not?
We're grown people. I trust her. She trusts me.
Which is as it should be.
Why?
Well because if a relationship is set on a solid bedrock of trust, it ain't gonna last.
To quote that great and eminent sage and junkie, James Marshall Hendrix,
"Castles made of sand slip into the sea, eventually."



Toysinbabeland -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 8:16:12 AM)

This is a community of peers. Your intentions are what really matters.



noellesdestiny -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 8:19:16 AM)

You sound like you're doing all the right things:)



littleone14 -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 8:42:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Well because if a relationship is set on a solid bedrock of trust, it ain't gonna last.


Don't you mean "isn't set on a solid bedrock of trust?" =)



poise -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 8:49:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Well because if a relationship is set on a solid bedrock of trust, it ain't gonna last.

By bedrock, do you mean bed rock?

[image]http://smileys.emoticonsonly.com/emoticons/c/couple_in_bed-2576.gif[/image][image]http://www.wtv-zone.com/rosebuds/graphics/smiley/bananas/jumping-on-bed_ani.gif[/image][image]http://smileys.emoticonsonly.com/emoticons/c/couple_in_bed-2576.gif[/image]



Toysinbabeland -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 9:22:22 AM)

[image]

http://images.shirts.com/flintstones-bed-rock-t-shirt.jpg
[/image]

For Kana and lil....



Toysinbabeland -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 9:23:28 AM)

Yeesh.. I can't post pictures using my phone...



poise -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 9:28:26 AM)

Here to lend an old broad a hand. [;)]

[image]http://images.shirts.com/flintstones-bed-rock-t-shirt.jpg[/image]



Toysinbabeland -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 10:04:19 AM)

Thanks poise....

;)



Kana -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 11:26:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone14


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Well because if a relationship is set on a solid bedrock of trust, it ain't gonna last.


Don't you mean "isn't set on a solid bedrock of trust?" =)

I stand, well actually sit, corrected.
Teach me to type before the coffee kicks in :-)



theRose4U -> RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub (12/9/2012 12:13:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone14


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Well because if a relationship is set on a solid bedrock of trust, it ain't gonna last.


Don't you mean "isn't set on a solid bedrock of trust?" =)

I stand, well actually sit, corrected.
Teach me to type before the coffee kicks in :-)

I just blame my f'n blackberry. Damn thiing leaves out letters I typed, routinely drops vowels like "I said" only works typed isaid. Contractions can make the entire word disappear.



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