Where to develop myself.

Where to develop myself. (Full Version)

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Oniw17 -> Where to develop myself. (12/10/2012 8:49:40 PM)
So I've read some literature, and I've taken an interest in the lifestyle. I've always taken pleasure in making people do what I want. An example of this would be making someone beg or perform some menial task for a cigarette. Anyway, I'd like to know if there's a place where bdsm is more common that I could go to experiment. Simple enough question, right?

poise -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/10/2012 8:52:45 PM)
You can try googling bdsm+your city. There are lots of casual gatherings for people to meet up at. Be sure to also include TNG in your search (The Next Generation) as they are geared towards your age group.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/10/2012 8:53:58 PM)
From the FAQ at the top of the section (ahem): quote: Find Munches/Events In Your Area To find public BDSM events in your area check the Upcoming Events section or click the link below to see what’s available in your area. http://www.bdsmresourceguide.com/munchesandgroups.html Also, Google is your friend. Input the name of your location and "BDSM" and you should find results. There's also FetLife (dot) com, which lists groups and events by location.

DesFIP -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/11/2012 8:49:36 PM)
Btw, it's considered wrong to do this kind of thing unless the other person has consented to it. Doing it without consent gets you a bad reputation. So you need to talk to possible partners first if they enjoy emotional sadism and/or humiliation play. It helps if you learn what you're doing in order to know how to explain what you like and want.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/11/2012 9:51:49 PM)
I'd recommend you join Fetlife, find your local BDSM community, get to know real life people who do BDSM, not just wish for it and learn. From reading your profile I'd say, and I do not mean this as a put down, that you've got a LOT to learn.

CheeringGirl -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 3:14:09 AM)
I've known a lot of strict Doms on my time here (mostly because I like to learn a lot before saying I want to try something) and it seems like you just want to be a dick to people to get your rocks off. I might be wrong (hope I am because that's just rude) and if I am wrong, you might want to re-write your profile.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 4:01:11 AM)
Well, after reading your profile, I would start with a good therapist, one who specializes in narcissists and control fanatics....If you can find a woman who agrees to buy her own plane ticket, get a FT job when she arrives, turn over her pay check within 12 hours, be your house servant, bear your children & raise them at your demand, welcome your casual sex partners into the house she is cleaning, paying for and raising her kids in, only speak the phrases given to her by you, be your labrat and test dummy, keep herself in physical shape AND be sexually available at your command, used anyway you want for (I Forgot the number of hours you gave)....then you need to write a book and go on the lecture circuit, because millions of men worldwide would PAY to know how. Well, I will be in touch with you again...typically your type will be writing in 6 months about all the fakes and wannabes. Why no real women have responded, asking for profile help....Please, please let us know how this works out for you! EDIT--everything I listed is a direct quote from his profile. I did not assume or embellish any of what he was looking for including the kids or "list of phrases" his future slave would be allowed to speak.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 4:12:21 AM)
One thing i am confused about is how is the sub to keep a job when she is only allowed to speak a handful of phrases to anyone other than the OP?

masmiss -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 4:16:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 One thing i am confused about is how is the sub to keep a job when she is only allowed to speak a handful of phrases to anyone other than the OP? Anything is possible in fantasyland.

DarkSteven -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 4:21:42 AM)
OP, I read your profile. You have confused healthy relationships like BDSM with abusive relationships. If you want to simply have an abusive relationship, contact the local battered women's shelter and ask them if they rent their women out for dates. [8D]

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 5:07:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss Well, after reading your profile, I would start with a good therapist, one who specializes in narcissists and control fanatics....If you can find a woman who agrees to buy her own plane ticket, get a FT job when she arrives, turn over her pay check within 12 hours, be your house servant, bear your children & raise them at your demand, welcome your casual sex partners into the house she is cleaning, paying for and raising her kids in, only speak the phrases given to her by you, be your labrat and test dummy, keep herself in physical shape AND be sexually available at your command, used anyway you want for (I Forgot the number of hours you gave)....then you need to write a book and go on the lecture circuit, because millions of men worldwide would PAY to know how. Well, I will be in touch with you again...typically your type will be writing in 6 months about all the fakes and wannabes. Why no real women have responded, asking for profile help....Please, please let us know how this works out for you! EDIT--everything I listed is a direct quote from his profile. I did not assume or embellish any of what he was looking for including the kids or "list of phrases" his future slave would be allowed to speak. And in addition, any person who would agree to those terms would likely be a pretty messed up human being. Probably not the type of person who would be capable of raising children and holding down a full time job, and much less someone capable of a stable long-term relationship.

lizi -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 5:11:05 AM)
OP, you want a lot, but have nothing to give in return. People who don't know any better, or base their BDSM ideas off of porn, seem to think it's all about the Dominant getting what he/she wants. It's not. The Dominant needs to be someone the submissive wants. Go figure out what that means. Oh, and there is a difference between domestic abuse and kink. Go figure it out. So you take pleasure in making people do what you want, so does a 2 year old. You can start developing yourself by understanding that there is much more to BDSM than what you see in porn- therefore my comments on specific things to delve into that would enhance your learning of the subject. Books you've started with, that's good. Real life events, reading here on the forums, for you mostly doing some introspection on what being a leader is will help you the most. The most profoundly kinky things are nothing about attaining skills, they are about yourself. Stop thinking it's all about you being a dick - that's not going to get you anywhere anyway - or that it's all about you period. Go figure it out.

CheeringGirl -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 7:30:51 AM)
I'll say what I usually say BDSM and sadistic relationships is not an excuse to be an abusive dick. Even with sadists there is a level of trust with it. Wanna be someone up? Hurry and get some GHB before those nifty date rape detectors become a big thing.

mnottertail -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 7:35:47 AM)
Yanno, I took some Rohypnol once cuz I was trying to get date raped, but I just passed out. It was for shit, I tell ya. That fuckin scrap don't work.

JeffBC -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 8:08:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Oniw17 Simple enough question, right? TieMeInKnottss on this one. You should start at a good therapist. Honestly I read your profile and the big question I came away with was "why?" Why do you think some woman would agree to the stuff you wrote in your profile? While we're at it, do you really, really, wanting to be allowing anyone who'd agree to such stuff into your personal space to start with?

angelikaJ -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 8:53:40 AM)
To the OP, You are 22 years old. No offense, but the not-so-simple biological fact is that your brain won't be "adult" until you are 25 years old- at least. Relationships are about relating and that involves communication. There is no shortcut to that; if you do not have good communication skills and if you have difficulty relating, the failure of the relationship will fall to you and you will find it to be a wholly frustrating and unfulfilling experience. It won't matter that it is D/s or M/s; those are not a way around the whole relational thing. It won't matter what your technical skills are; those are not a substitute for knowing how to inspire someone to serve you the way you want to be served. You can not control someone through fear. Another thing about relationships: they need to be reciprocal in some way, and within your profile, you do not present any sense of reciprocity. There is nothing in your scenario about what is in it for your potential partner. There is also no indication that you are responsible enough for someone to be able to trust you in order to do any of the things you require. Absent communication and relational skills will make achieving what you want a non-possibility. Find a therapist so that you can learn how to relate and communicate.

OsideGirl -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 8:53:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Oniw17 So I've read some literature, and I've taken an interest in the lifestyle. I've always taken pleasure in making people do what I want. An example of this would be making someone beg or perform some menial task for a cigarette. Anyway, I'd like to know if there's a place where bdsm is more common that I could go to experiment. Simple enough question, right? I would start by suggesting that you find a dictionary and read the definitions of domineering and dominant and comprehend the difference between the two. Being a Dominant doesn't mean you get to be a dick. I would suggest that you attend some lectures and events in your local community before you ever get into a relationship with a woman....because you have absolutely no clue.

DesFIP -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 3:54:57 PM)
Or stay as you are, continue to do things to people without consent, and find out what it feels like in a couple of years when you get to be somebody's bitch in the local penitentiary.

JeffBC -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 4:06:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ Another thing about relationships: they need to be reciprocal in some way, and within your profile, you do not present any sense of reciprocity. There is nothing in your scenario about what is in it for your potential partner. Ah yes... the BDSM myth. Didn't you get the memo? In a true D/s relationship it's all about the dom. I actually find that myth unfortunate but it plays strongly into the fantasies of the s-types so it keeps getting propagated.

MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Where to develop myself. (12/12/2012 4:11:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Or stay as you are, continue to do things to people without consent, and find out what it feels like in a couple of years when you get to be somebody's bitch in the local penitentiary. Will there be video? I'll bring the popcorn...

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