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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/14/2012 7:26:56 AM

CougarRick

Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VioletViolence
And CougarRick, I agree with the other ladies. Lots of Dommes like big, strong subs and especially ones who are intelligent, well spoken and have a good head on their shoulders. You're gonna do just fine.

Good head on my shoulders? Nobody has ever accused me of that before

. But seriously, thank you for your words of support.

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/14/2012 7:28:16 AM

coldslayer

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Joined: 9/19/2012
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probably since high school. around that time i solidified myself as a sarcastic, witty, tongue challenging bitch. works out well for me in other depts...

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/14/2012 7:43:31 AM

Lockit

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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Born this way? In part I guess that would be so, but as a whole picture... no. I lived my life and those experiences had to mean something or what was it for? Did I naturally take charge without abuse? Yes. I remember running the kindergarten. Did I dominate men or get kinky from the start? No. Could I learn to do it? No. I could learn to top, but not the nature or self I have that makes me who I am. In life I sought out those things that made life a true living in living true to who I was.

Op... trying to get someone to cater to what you think you want, isn't a good idea and more so if you don't even know yourself what you want.

Spend a week with a dominant woman without the sexy parts and you may see what I mean. You can't push especially a younger woman into being what you want. Because of the lack of life experience in which she can really 'own' she may feel forced to please you or will ignore you because she feels unaccepted as who she is at this moment and when a woman feels that she must perform or is pushed to, she may wonder what its all about and why you do this. If she has read the books and isn't catering to you or your needs and at this point it would be catering to you because she just doesn't feel it or get it... then are you being fair to her or the relationship?

Either learn to live with it as it is or without it. Who is she to you? If needs aren't being met and this is a need... then move on as it is better now than later when you have a family or other things all tied up and harder to untie. Make a choice and live with it because things could happen. If now before you are so tied up in life, you need more, then should you be where you are? Don't put this on her. This is yours to own. What can you live with and be happy with? Be honest.

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/14/2012 5:10:50 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwistedPfister

I'm feeling particularly lonely and twisted these days. Certainly I don't feel NORMAL. The wife has surely never gotten it, and I've really tried explaining it from as many different angles as I could. I've recommended books, etc., but actually, I'm not sure I understand it myself. I can remember having had submissive feelings as a very small child, even before having overtly sexual feelings. Wanting to give up control to the little girls, be bossed around. Was I BORN this way? Have you always been a domme in your heart? Or a sub?

(Gawd I hope this doesn't turn into some twisted "please fuck me/spank me/call me bad names" shit but....I'll play along for the time being).

I've always felt this way....I just didn't recognize it well enough to put a title on it until I was in my late 20's.

Once I did, I felt "somewhat" whole....then I met a fabulous woman who (Domme) opened up doors for me that I never knew existed....

.....and then she fucked with my hayud for another 11 years....but that's another story.

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/15/2012 9:24:26 PM

SlaveSubtoserve

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since puberty for moi

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/17/2012 4:19:10 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Yanno........giving this some actual thought. I don't think many kink driven, call themselves submissive or slave, kinda guys.......really realize how terribly difficult it can be to actually be in a real honest to god, real, live, relationship with a dominant woman. Most especially if they are not really submissive and truly, pretty service oriented. I really don't think most get it.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/17/2012 2:54:47 PM

RumpusParable

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As far back as I can recall, yes, I have been.

My first and closest relationship as a kid was very much a power-exchange. We didn't know the Special BDSM Words for it, but that's the truth of it.

My earliest sexual experiences naturally involved kink.

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/17/2012 3:30:44 PM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
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I was born naturally submissive and was a thoroughly confused youth, being pushed towards the opposite end of the spectrum. I don't think any major event occurred to drive me to be the way I am. No abuse or trauma.

I'm definitely not a pushover, but it may come across that way to others. I've always just been very agreeable with the desire to please people. It has always made me most happy seeing others happy.

As far as kink goes, the thoughts started very early but only practiced with partners I was comfortable with. Since I wasn't exactly promiscuous, I wasn't very well practiced.

I relate to the light-bulb moment and suddenly feeling whole.
I wish someone had shown me the light earlier on.

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/22/2012 10:46:57 AM

subordinance

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Joined: 6/15/2007
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Well, I know you were trying to "ask a mistress", but I enjoy reading about early discovery, especially from doms. Since I always knew I was submissive, it's actually a bit of a relief to see that many doms have early memories as well. Nobody wants to think their partner is acting a part, but doesn't really feel it, deep down. I remember acting out control situations with my dolls, and I especially remember fantasizing I was being restrained or tied up, as I went to sleep. In childhood, my fantasies revolved around being controlled. Kids would sometimes threaten that another child in the neighborhood would "make you do this", without explaining how he intended to gain compliance, or they'd threaten that a teacher would spank you for something silly, so even then I hoped this meant there were people who just naturally enjoyed being in charge. My kindergarten teacher was a wuss, and the kids ran the classroom. There was a more strict teacher across the hall. She didn't yell, but I liked how she used a rather authoritative voice to get all of the kids to do what she wanted, even the ones from my class. I repeatedly asked her if I could move into her class. Some parents claim that children like structure, but I usually preferred freedom. Only specific teachers could command that type of respect but, when I met them, I immediately knew it, and I immediately gave it. Fortunately, they always took it as a compliment. Don't get me wrong, as I was always a nice, respectful kid, but I gravitated towards those types of teachers. They weren't "mean", as I preferred nice, friendly, permissive teachers to mean ones, but these teachers just really seemed to have a handle on the situation. In middle school, I tried to take elective classes with older kids whenever possible, because there might be one or two who liked to boss around, or even "bully", the younger kids. They found me and I found them, and I obeyed.

< Message edited by subordinance -- 12/22/2012 10:53:40 AM >

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/22/2012 4:33:05 PM

PranksterBtch

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Yes, I've been unwilling to submit as far back as the age of 3. The only thing that has changed since childhood, is my apologizing for being dominant, and the ability for anyone to put me in timeout for it lol.

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/24/2012 9:34:15 PM

HarryVanWinkle

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My earliest memory of becoming something resembling sexually aroused is from when I was five or six and got tied to a tree while playing cowboys and indians, or something similar. After that, my interest never flagged. I spent more than a few years trying to figure out whether I was born this way or if something had nurtured me into it.

I never did figure it out and gave up trying many years ago. It doesn't matter what made me this way; what matters is I AM this way and am extremely unlikely to change this side of the grave.

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/25/2012 3:41:14 PM

SomethingCatchy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Yes, I've been this way since childhood and long, long before I knew there was a term for it.

2x

When I talked to partners about my interests they ALWAYS assumed I was submissive, and at that time the only access I had to BDSM materials of any sort were female sub/male dom. I thought that's what it was, and I was miserable trying to stuff myself into a box I didn't fit in.

Now I've accepted all of my kinks and quirks and know exactly what I can and cannot do.

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RE: Have you always been this way? - 12/25/2012 4:51:20 PM

StrictlyADomina

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Being dominant or submissive I think are based on your genetics. I tend to believe that the person's nurture/environment does influence, to some degree, who you naturally are. I don't think that anyone is unusual/abnormal for being dominant or submissive. The media we are exposed to portrays many stereotypes. Most are negative. Why buy into that? Be yourself, don't treat others badly and be happy. Sometimes it can be just that simple.

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