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RE: Going too fast? - 6/18/2006 8:46:36 AM   
apoeticsong


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		many good advice here to be heeded, doesn't sound like you know this gent very well at all.
I am more concern over the fact of basic personality traits are secondary to BDSM in this case.
Why is this guy not listening to you ?   That concerns me and can be problematic in your future.
Thus if you proceed with this one, I would hope that you set up safe guards, be it safe calls or a contact to stick by
and hope to goodness he respects safe words and your well being.
simply, song

(in reply to needtobetold)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Going too fast? - 6/19/2006 12:24:36 AM   
KSControl


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		The fact that it *feels* wrong, means it *IS* wrong.  Go with your instincts.  And, by all means, do NOT play on the first date... EVER... 

(in reply to apoeticsong)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Going too fast? - 7/4/2006 11:45:00 AM   
tbear4759


Posts: 55
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline 		sounds like this guy is a kook.  If I were you (or any other woman) I would  not go to his place to start "training" right after the first meeting, especially if therre are plans for you to be bound, etc.  looks like the potential for rape is too great.  but, you have to decide for yourself.  all we can do is advise you and hope you make the right decision.  be well.

_____________________________

"I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me."

"You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view."






(in reply to KSControl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Going too fast? - 7/4/2006 12:16:17 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tbear4759

sounds like this guy is a kook.  If I were you (or any other woman) I would  not go to his place to start "training" right after the first meeting, especially if therre are plans for you to be bound, etc.  looks like the potential for rape is too great.  but, you have to decide for yourself.  all we can do is advise you and hope you make the right decision.  be well.


I am confused.... aren't you the same person who just posted this in a thread:

quote:

we will be meeting next sunday. we have to determine the time and location still. any advice on what I should expect, and/or do or not do?  I'm anticipating sex and bondage during this meeting because of what she said. 


http://www.collarchat.com/m_460751/tm.htm

Does this mean that you are a "kook" too since you are expecting sex and bondage on a first meeting or have I read something wrong?

Knight's kyra


_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to tbear4759)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Going too fast? - 7/4/2006 12:56:02 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GirlyDevil

He immediantly thinks that we are perfect for each other, but we don't even know each other. He's already talking about collaring me and making me his 24/7. I have told him that I'm not ready yet to make that commitment and it seems like he doesn't get it.


Behaviour like that smacks of immaturity, desperation, or predatory intentions. An intelligent, well grounded, person does not decide overnight that they want to own you.

Infactuation is normal, and can lead to a solid relationship in time, but it's not the real thing. A well-balanced dom has enough understanding of human nature, and control of himself, to know that.

Be nice, be gracious, but be careful. Personally, I find behaviour like that unnattractive, and it usually ends the association.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to GirlyDevil)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Going too fast? - 7/4/2006 1:27:08 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
Does this mean that you are a "kook" too since you are expecting sex and bondage on a first meeting or have I read something wrong?


Nice catch Kyra and very justified challenge to an apparent double standard. It will be interesting to see if the gent in question has an answer to it


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Going too fast? - 7/4/2006 1:28:42 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		fast reply..... Has anyone noticed that this thread started June 17 so it's a couple of weeks old? I wonder what the poster decided.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Going too fast? - 7/5/2006 12:34:18 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GirlyDevil

For all of you masters out there, what would you suggest? I'm going to be meeting my master for the first time this week and am very nervous. He immediantly thinks that we are perfect for each other, but we don't even know each other. He's already talking about collaring me and making me his 24/7. I have told him that I'm not ready yet to make that commitment and it seems like he doesn't get it. We have made an agreement for 2 wks., but he thinks that I will be collared at the end. Any suggestions as what I could do or say?
Sub Girl looking for help

GirlyDevil,
Your profile says you are dominant looking for m/f subs.  Yet here you are asking us advice on your meeting with your Master.
Things that make me go hmmmm....

_____________________________





(in reply to GirlyDevil)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Going too fast? - 7/7/2006 7:10:28 PM   
SirDarkside357


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		What Raven said.

Darkside

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Going too fast? - 7/8/2006 4:06:23 AM   
wandering4u


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		Can we all say "RUN!".  Going way too fast and ignoring every safety rule I ever heard.
But MistressofGa has a very interesting observation... any word back from our initiator?



(in reply to SirDarkside357)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Going too fast? - 7/8/2006 5:04:34 AM   
subedana


Posts: 100
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Just agreeing with everyone else on this thread. Don't let anyone push you into something you're not ready for or sure about. It will only end up messy in the end.
I have two hard fast rules: First meet is always a vanilla Date and both on equal footing
Second, no play whatsoever on first date. Period. And both rules are hard limits.

(in reply to needtobetold)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Going too fast? - 7/8/2006 5:21:24 AM   
MasterG333


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/4/2004
Status: offline 		   I have a saying    you have the say until you say I have the say. you dont have to do anything you dont want to until you give over say of yourself

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Going too fast? - 7/14/2006 3:23:21 AM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subedana

Just agreeing with everyone else on this thread. Don't let anyone push you into something you're not ready for or sure about. It will only end up messy in the end.
I have two hard fast rules: First meet is always a vanilla Date and both on equal footing
Second, no play whatsoever on first date. Period. And both rules are hard limits.

 Gods, nice to know I am not the only one with those rules.

(in reply to subedana)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Going too fast? - 7/14/2006 3:59:09 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Some times things simply flow right and things do go fast, very fast. BOTH people feel the dynamic, feel the pull to act on it and feel comfortable with moving forward dispite how fast things seem to be going.

Key word 'BOTH', that is obviously not the case here and if he won't listen to the fact that you are not comfortable.... then what elese is he going to not listen to you being uncomfortable with? Red flag dearie, if you ARE still interested, talk to him, try explaining further, but if he won't listen and slow down, run!





I agree that sometimes there can be a compatability where you both are fairly certain that moving more swiftly than you may normally, is a comfortable thing to do.

I wasn't clear about the time scale from the OP, in terms of *knowing* the chap in question ......but I'd tilt my head a little at handing my life and all that that entails over to someone I hadn't yet met.

I thought the OP's profile was interesting considering the question she asked.

And..uncharacteristically(sp), some parent-type comment keep trying to spring from my lips..such as......* Don't be so silly*.

agirl



(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 34
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